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This is my very last resort - ideas needed to help me find my dad, brothers and sisters

668 replies

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 30/05/2013 20:30

I haven't seen my Dad for over 25 years, my Mum left him and then came in with another bloke one day and informed us that this was our new Dad and that was that.

She won't give me his proper name but I know the name everyone called him and he was well known where he lived, she won't tell me where and when he was born, in fact we no longer speak so I'm never likely to be able to find the information out at all now all I know is he lived in a little Lincolnshire village.

About 16 years ago she did manage to track a phone number down for him (after years of harrassment) and I had a brief conversation with him but she decided she didn't like it and burned the number and his address that I had written down as well as the phone bill.

Back when I spoke to him he was waiting for pretty major surgery on his heart so I'm not even sure if he is alive now and if he is he is in his 70s and when we spoke he did tell me I had brothers and sisters (he said all in all he had 16 children by goodness knows how many women) but I don't know their names apart from a brother I had who died and three older sisters I have whos names are my middle names (although one of them died as well I don't know which one).

I have tried the salvation army, trawled through public records (which is hard because I only know the shortened version of his name not the full name) called local pubs and shops where he used to live some of who knew him but didn't know where he was now and the local police station who couldn't do anything to help, as well as going on missing people and family tree and similar websites.

What else can I do? I feel like there is a huge part of my history I don't know and I would like to even just know if he is alive or not and maybe try to track down his other children. There is also the fact that my sister died from SIDS before I was born (according to my Mother) as did my son and I had a daughter who died from a genetic illness which there is no trace of on my Mothers side of the family and I would like to know my family history from his side to be able to tell my children.

Could someone give me any more ideas of what I can do to try and find out where he is or is it a lost cause? I don't know where to turn anymore its like banging my head off a brick wall and I'm just about ready to give up Sad

Hello everyone,
To retain some RL privacy, we've edited out some names and replaced them with a B. Hope this has no effect on reading this amazing thread.
Thanks.
MNHQ

OP posts:
MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 10/06/2013 16:32

Oh God there literally are millions of them, my Dad is one of 10, they all have at least 2 or 3 kids each, and some of them have an undisclosed amount of children too.

I did not think this through, can I start a charity to help me with christmas presents haha.

I can't believe it, I really can't, years and years of trying everything, then what? 10 days after a plea for ideas on MN and I have a family again, and the best bit is they are only about 70 or 80 miles away from where I am now.

I really can't thank you all enough, I really can't.

I think I may be a bit in shock actually so I shall return after a brandy cup of sweet tea to continue annoying you all with Flowers and (((HUGS))) and thank yous.

OP posts:
moonblues · 10/06/2013 16:30

Congratulations missymoo! I'm so pleased for you! :)

MinnieBar · 10/06/2013 16:30

Yay!

LoopyLooplaHoop · 10/06/2013 16:26

I've just nominated this thread for classics, but thought you might want it in chat to disappear? Sorry and AMAZING news, well done!

Whitershadeofpale · 10/06/2013 16:23

I've lucked but wanted to say I'm really happy for you, what a lovely thread Grin Wine

MissMarplesBloomers · 10/06/2013 16:22

Brilliant! Sooooooooooooo pleased for you!

Pokeroot · 10/06/2013 16:22

Wow!

I'm really pleased for you!

TeaMakesItAllPossible · 10/06/2013 16:20

Just WOW. Dead pleased for you and looking forward to news of sheep too Wink

hevak · 10/06/2013 16:19

Congratulations! I've been following the thread and I'm so pleased you found him!

sadlovedgirl · 10/06/2013 16:16

WOW!
What fantastic news!
The power of Mumsnet strikes again.
Smile
I appear to have something in my eye

QOD · 10/06/2013 16:15

Omg!! Wow excellent

TheDoctrineOfAllan · 10/06/2013 16:12

Oh wow!!!

MrsMcGregor · 10/06/2013 16:09

Wow! . I've followed your thread over the last 10 days and have been so touched by all the help you have had and the progress you have made! Look forward to an update when things settle but well done! What a life changing moment!

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 10/06/2013 16:06

Sorry I haven't been on for a few days. I have been waiting for lots of people to get back to me and I am very over the moon super happily wonderfully excitedly pleased to announce that as of about 5 minutes ago MN FOUND MY DADDY and a million Aunties Uncles Cousins and siblings.

I can't believe it and I really cannot thank you lovely wonderful people enough. I am literally awaiting a phone call hopefully in the next couple of hours. He goes by Joey just now apparently.

I am sobbing and overwhelmed that the combined efforts of so many lovely MNers has given me my family back.

((((((((((HUGS))))))))))) and kisses and Thanks and Wine to all of you and I don't give a hoot if they are unmumsnetty or not xxxxxxx

OP posts:
ShipwreckedAndComatose · 08/06/2013 07:20

I'm so impressed with how much MN has managed to find out Grin

MissMarplesBloomers · 07/06/2013 22:45

Well interestingly enough the online detectives are getting further than the local one is!

The jungle drums are not beating as fast as I had hoped, or maybe folks are being cagey?? Will get a better chance tomorrow -car boot sale locally, good chance to natter to all sorts of folks.

Sorry I have been quiet the last few days, blardy real life y'know does get in the way. Grin

roadkillbunny · 07/06/2013 20:50

Just had to post to say how impressive and heartwarming this thread is. I haven't got anything useful to add but wanted to wish you all the luck in the world and hope that you get an an outcome that gives you some answers about where you come from and maybe even a new relative or two, three or maybe even more to get to know!
I love this side of mumsnet and I'm just thrilled that you have been able to get so much help. I wish I could offer some information but I have no links with the area and well I'm really really rubbish at this kind of thing!
Wine and Flowers

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 06/06/2013 19:07

Wow it must be a really common name out there Clara it looks funny to see my maiden name as a street name. I was doing a bit of research about them and apparently they are really quite high tech out there, most of the work there is all to do with the internet, and they have quite a few online gambling sites. I don't know what I expected really but I didn't expect that. I'll have to and see if it is where I descended from and then see if I can score a holiday there somehow, it looks really nice out there. Grin

I have my family spreadsheet to go alongside my MN one so I'm all organised now. I have been looking on genesreunited all afternoon and found a couple of people with 'Granny and Grandad' listed (or people with the same names at least) some of who have people with as some of my sisters names, but different last names.

It also looks like 'Granny' was born in 1911 and died in 2002 from what I can tell.

I have sent a few messages out this afternoon so now its a waiting game to see who messages back, although I'm still cautiously excited as people have probably changed email addresses since they signed up to there.

I've emailed a couple of people who deal with military archives in Canada as well to ask them about 'Grandad' and see where the best place to go for help is so I will hopefully hear something soon.

I really can't believe how far I have got so far in a week, I started off with a few vague details and have ended up with more than I could ever have hoped for. Thank you all for taking the time to message and post and take the time to trawl through records to help me find my family and just generally be lovely and supportive and thank you to MissMarple who has been asking around locally and being annoyed by my texting I'm sure I know I keep saying it but I really can't thank you all enough. Flowers

OP posts:
RedundantExpat · 06/06/2013 18:00

So excited for you Missy. I think you may need a spreadsheet to keep track of things ... Wink

clarabellabunting · 06/06/2013 13:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

MissStrawberry · 06/06/2013 12:06

That should have been

It is true I like DS's middle name...

MissStrawberry · 06/06/2013 12:01

It is true Is middle name but I wanted to name my child after this person and DH didn't like their first name. Coincidently his surname is also a first name Grin.

hevak · 06/06/2013 11:55

I love this thread! I've been lurking and wishing you well and just saw your update about figuring out which year your Dad was born in - that will really help you! Best of luck for the search!

am very jealous of the possible Native Canadian ancestry Grin

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 06/06/2013 11:38

How weird Miss there must be some genetic link to liking certain names Grin

OP posts:
MissStrawberry · 06/06/2013 11:32

Just had to post having read your update. DH and I named our son and his middle name is the same as someone I knows surname. Much much later we looked at his family tree and both names were well used going back 100's of years ago and we had no idea Smile