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Original poster

House rules I forgot to make.

413 replies

CadleCrap · 28/04/2013 09:23

Don't comb the soap. Hmm

OP posts:
Whirliwig72 · 01/05/2013 10:27

Don't lick the butter!

Apples, oranges and bananas do not belong in the washing machine!

FairyJen · 01/05/2013 10:22

Oh and do NOT shut me out the house again when I'm putting the rubbish out and only open the door once the fire brigade has turned up to break the door down!

LadyBigtoes · 01/05/2013 10:22

Lol at meadowhall - I say "what happens if you fight? That's right, we're going fabric shopping at John Lewis". Stops them pretty quick!

Also - don't try to find a way into your stomach via your bellybutton
Don't eat your sleeves
Don't cross your eyes so far you get a headache for the rest of the day
Don't stroke spiders
When I let you use the garden hose on pain of not squirting the neighbours, don't squirt the blardy neighbours!

And for DP - don't use up everything out of a food container then put the EMPTY FUCKING CONTAINER BACK IN THE CUPBOARD!

FairyJen · 01/05/2013 10:20
  • don't POKE me - she is allowed to like me
FairyJen · 01/05/2013 10:20

Don't sit on your brother
Don't poke your brother
Don't like me
Don't put crayons in your knickers so you have a winky
Don't moon passerby out the window
Don't dial last number in phone and spend 20mins telling your daddy's manager about your poo
Don't. Save poos to show daddy

Yes I am a nag but if you listened the first time I wouldn't have to repeat myself!

Theselittlelightsofmine · 01/05/2013 10:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MERLYPUSS · 01/05/2013 10:03

Dont put crayons behind the radiator - they melt and look like shit.
Dont poke a stick up the dog's bum when he is trying to poo.
Dont take out the tissues, one by one, and snot on them all.
Dont eat frozen pizza.
Dont gargle trifle.

AnonYonimousBird · 01/05/2013 09:49

No bikes on the kitchen table. .

Do not suck hand rails ANYWHERE, especially in public places.

Squiglettsmummy2bx · 01/05/2013 09:31

Don't dust the house using the toilet brush
The cheese grater doesn't live in your sisters dolls house
Don't put my sauce pans in the washing machine or the dustbin

SquidgyMummy · 01/05/2013 08:36

Do not pick your nose and then offer your index finger to mummy to remove the bogey

MrsKwazii · 01/05/2013 08:08

Knickers must be worn at the dining table
Do not comment on how big adults' bottoms are
You do not need to point out that some women have 'big boobies', they already know
Do not spread your bogies across your cheeks a la Adam Ant
Do not wee in Daddy's trainers

sarahbanshee · 01/05/2013 07:29

Don't lick the window.

Don't lick the buggy wheels.

Don't lick the bus.

Don't lick the tube train.

STOP BLOODY LICKING THINGS, OK?!?

Shaky · 01/05/2013 07:17
  • cottage cheese

Although outage cheese sounds just as grim Grin

Shaky · 01/05/2013 07:16

Do not hide a cup of milk in the cupboard, to be discovered 3 days later when it has transformed into outage cheese

Shaky · 01/05/2013 07:14

Sorry Ginhag have these Thanks

rainbowweaver · 01/05/2013 03:05

Sydney philharmonic's take on this

MarianForrester · 30/04/2013 23:28

No swords on the table.

milkysmum · 30/04/2013 23:05

NO cleaning the bathroom with my toothbrush- yes I know you were trying to be helpful but still! (God knows how many times this had been done before I caught her in the act!!!)

olivertheoctopus · 30/04/2013 23:04

No, you have not 'made ice cream' by placing a tissue into a bowl, adding two chopped up plums and some milk even if you did do a very neat job chopping the plums for a 4yo using a plastic knife

bigbutsrus1 · 30/04/2013 22:54

Don't tell strangers "mummy has a big fat spotty botty"

Don't repeatedly ask when standing outside the bathroom door "are you doing a poo mummy"? When the carpet fitters are at the bottom of the stairs!

Don't eat dried up frogs, slow worms or slugs please.

Don't eat raisins that fall out your nappy

Don't pull my tampon string!!

Don't tell great gran she is next to die

springykitsch · 30/04/2013 22:53

oh, and I was quietly taking the credit, hoping I'd got away with it.

Nice to get a mention

Ginger4justice · 30/04/2013 22:48

This thread is funny but I can't decide whether it's reassuring that I'm not the only one who's spent the day saying no to some completely random things or distressing because I have most of this to come. (DD's 2).

Favourites of the day: Don't stand on your scuttle bug to reach something. Every other time you do it, it goes horribly wrong (unless I get there quick enough).
Do not cry when mummy gives you something you have just asked for. It mummy feel like she is going insane.
Do not laugh at daddy while he wees. Even if it is the first time you've seen him do it (although mummy's secretly pleased because she's not had a wee in private for 2 years).

xlatia · 30/04/2013 22:13

*shelves, not selves!

i wouldn't mind him using the tin for spiritual purposes Grin

xlatia · 30/04/2013 22:10

don't stand on the biscuit tin!

repeated ad nauseam to DS (18 months) who's trying to reach selves further up Hmm

ginhag · 30/04/2013 22:01

OY shakey. That wasn't springy THAT WAS ME

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