Do not see how far you can push your leg through the railings until they get stuck then leave telling me until it's so swollen I need the fire brigade to cut you free.
DP do not put cardboard on the open fire, it's how chimney fires start. Oh there's a chimney fire, like I said there would be, I'll call the fire brigade. Do not ignore what both the firemen and I say and put cardboard on the fire again starting another chimney fire in less than 2 weeks and decide to take the kids to safety at your mothers aka hide from the firemen who WILL tell you off because I do not wish to be on first name terms with the local fire brigade, it is not 'cool' that they wave at me when they pass in their truck and I do not feel like I'm being accepting into the community because if it. I feel like a prat who has the fire brigade round all the time.
DS don't feed the dog your poo, don't let the dog sniff your bottom as you are pooing, do not yell at anyone flushing the toilet because you want the world biggest wee, stop trying to put tampons up your bottom, don't take thd dead mice the cat brings in into school for show and tell, especially if it's only half a mouse with it's guts hanging out, the mess in the book bag was horrendous.