Have you ever encountered anyone this cheeky?

Following to read through

Nothing beats Mexican house thief, though some of the CF's on here are staggering!
I used to look after my step daughter whilst on maternity leave with DS-I mean I had her a lot! we had her 70/30 at the time and I was convenient to have her while she was supposed to be with her mum. One day I had been up all night with baby DS and was looking after SD when her mum turned up to pick her up. I was polite, said bye and as she was leaving my dad came to visit.
Older guy, looks like me, bit deaf. Didn't introduce them as too tired. thought nothing more of it until DH called later to say ExW had called him immediately. she left to tell him I was entertaining men while he was at work and described the dodgy bloke she'd seen arriving. Yup, it was my Dad!
She then went on to question DS's paternity and tell everyone we know I'd split up her happy marriage (I didn't, she did with her boyfriend) and that I was cheating on DH because she'd seen my Dad!

I ended up with PND. Oh, and she took out debt in DH's name. she is the ultimate CF!

Not as good as Mexican House theft, but about 20 years ago I became friendly with a work colleague in my first full time job.

I used to be invited over to her house quite regularly for a takeaway. She’d ask me to get there at x time and she’d always say “oh I’m just going for a bath” and give me something to do on her computer! This could’ve been writing a letter, Reading something, sort her emails etc. She’d be in the bath for about an hour while I sat there doing whatever she wanted on the computer getting more and more hungry. Once she asked me to go and pick up the takeaway and I refused because I didn’t know where it was, this was in the days before Just Eat, Deliveroo and Sat Navs. She was most annoyed she had to get out of the bath and go to the takeaway!

Coming back to read

at the Mexican house thief.
the fuckin' brass arse of them.

I care not that this thread was zombiefied previously.

Working at a preschool. The children were having a food drive for the Christian food guild to benefit local children and we were making a contest out of it. Big bins outside each classroom door. We count, we graph. Fun!
It's noon, before bins have pulled in for the day. I hear something outside the door. Children are gone, so...I see some very well-dressed older woman - diamonds! -has entered the building and is leisurely "grocery shopping" with her eco-friendly cloth bags.
I chased her back out with some choice words. The only time I have been able to say what I felt in the moment when angry!

Thank

Nowhere near as extreme as these, but at Christmas I went shopping to get gifts for my sister, she'd been having a rough time so I wanted to spoil her. Found her some lovely presents, sent a photo to our mum asking if she thinks she will like them. The response was "she will, let me know how much they were and I'll give you the money for them". She wanted to give the presents to my sister because she couldn't be arsed to go shopping herself. I compromised and let her buy one of them off me, but I still ended up having to wrap them both.
When DS was younger we used to live near to the town centre, she would come to visit "us" but would always insist on going shopping, so I never actually got a break. Basically where we lived was convenient for her to park (I had to pay for visitor parking vouchers for her) whilst she did her shopping.

There are probably loads more and these are just tame, but show the type of person she is.

We were due to get married and lived in a two bed flat, my mum and sister had flown over to attend (plus our oldest was a toddler) so five of us staying there. My BIL, who lived with his parents and 30 at the time, asked if he too could stay, in laws lived an hours drive away and knowing he was guaranteed a lift with them, I politely pointed out we didn’t have the room. On the day he arrives, no card let alone present, not even congratulations from him. We had no money and I did the catering, my friends mum brought glasses and made an exquisite cake, it was a very small affair of just a dozen, BIL afterwards proceeded to demolish several bottles of wine, I ended up removing the rest and topping up everyone’s glasses. Afterwards when I’d cleaned up several of my friends mums glasses were missing (there’d been no breakages) ......
Further on, I’d always invited all my in-laws to Sunday roasts every now and then and had supplied hundreds of photos to each one of our first born, without asking a penny, my BIL mentioned that he had polaroid pics of me being pregnant, as I didn’t have any I’d mentioned lovely could I have them (3) to which he quoted an absurd amount of money for them! I did say that he’d had 100’s for free from me, so dropped asking for money from me.
The final straw was when I went into kitchen to bring in more food, the in-laws up to this point had been very jovial, on walking in, the atmosphere was cold and I wondered why, I found out that our new carpet had a cake dropped on it by BIL and he’d only taken his heel and purposely ground it in. That was the final straw for me after that and happily he has been out of our lives for thirty years now.
My MIL brought up why both DH and I had no contact with him, berating me, I firmly responded all the reasons why.

This thread could develop into "the day I cut myself free from my covertly-toxic friend"..

Background - I thought we were really close...met through work, had two babies at roughly the same time together, she went through a divorce while we were friends...etc...etc

She did not drive so when she was fed up she would contact me or turn up suggesting we go shopping - I ended up dropping what I had planned to do to step in line with her plans...however I started noticing she seemed to be meeting up with others and not inviting me - fine - don't need to be joined at hip etc, then she would contact me again when she needed something/fancied a cuppa and a moan, needed someone to look after her kids....

She then "invited" herself to a black tie function - didn't offer to pay for her ticket (equivalent of about £80 in these times) and proceeded to "pair off" for the evening with my husband (she was divorced at this stage), meaning I had to find myself somewhere to sit across the table from them - everyone else was in a couple at the dinner...I thought I was perhaps being a bit sensitive but then the "official" photos came back a week later and she was cuddled up to my husband with me looking like a gooseberry.

That's when I realised you have to cut "Toxic friends" out of your life - those who do not have your back and more importantly make you feel miserable - that practice has stood the test of time and it's my one piece of advice to fellow-womankind - there are enough beautifully-minded ladies out there to make up for this sort...

This might be a bit outing if my neighbours are on Mumsnet but hey ho...This doesn't directly involve me - I was more of a bemused/outraged onlooker...I shall refer to the parties involved as NN (Nice Neighbour), CF male, his CF wife and CF kid. NN was forever lending them money, getting bits when shopping that they never paid for, covering their share of communal expenses and having to battle hard to get anything back from them, buying CF kid the odd treat because NN is naturally a kind person. Anyway, one evening NN answers a knock on her door. It is CF kid who announces " I've come for dinner, CF parents said you won't mind"! NN asks "where are your CF mum & dad?" CF kid says "they've gone out, said you would look after me"! I was gobsmacked and told NN that I would've called Social Services and reported them for leaving CF kid alone. At the very least they could have asked NN to do [yet another] favour, but to take her for granted like that pissed me right off. NN gave them a serve on their return and there was no repeat but they never apologised and other behavours showed they had no sense of shame. Unfortunately CF kid grew up having inherited all the rotten characteristics of her parents with a little bit of extra self-centred attention-seeking - the apple falling from that particular family tree landed right on her head!

Oh, just thought of another one - other CF neighbours..my better half once lent them a tenner and gave them a lift to the shop to put the £10 on their electricity key/card because he felt sorry for their 2 very young kids (even though she spent most of her money on pub trips). When she got her money her BF told her to pay back the loan and she said "why? he can afford to give me the £10" Luckily her BF had a tad more decency and got the money from her to pay better half back - he never extended financial friendship to her again though.
Still think the smoking mate using non-smoker house winning the CF stakes at the moment

Might need to revise my social skills. I could have been guilty of several of these! Never once thought they might not be ok.

I used to have some so called friends who used to brag to everyone about how they lived off grid and would be very condescending of everyone, myself included who had regular jobs. They used to come to my house, have baths and showers, do their laundry, cook and eat my food and always take my tea, coffee, sugar and milk and food home with them. They would charge their phones and the car batteries they used for power and fill my bin with all their rubbish , fill up their water containers and spend all day watching my tv and never so much as buy me a drink when we went out. I'm embarrassed that I put up with it for so long.

My maid of honour at my hen do informed she was gutted I had met my husband before she did. I laughed it off but she got even weirder after that, we no longer speak

Saw

When I was little, my mum called my dad in from outside for his dinner,she put the plate on table but at same time I answered the front door to my dads friend, he walked in sat down at the table had a cuppa daw dads dinner and started tucking innnn

I had a friend once years ago who I stayed with for a bit before getting my own place,I would pay more than my share for bills and extra food. And we could never put any heat on. It was only one bed so I was on floor on a blow up bed.

Skip forward a bit I had a nice 2 bed place was also in a relationship, she would be there every chance she could get because It was warm and I had food in my cupboards. I would bake and she'd just help herself..

Worse part she let herself in once came upstairs looking for me (we where in bed) she only bloody stood and waited outside the bedroom door 🤯 safe to say the mood was ruined 😂.
She would take naps and bring her big ass dog round with her.(I love animals but that's not the point)
There really are some people out there who have no shame..some of these stories are shocking lol.

I had a friend going through a traumatic breakup. I spent hours most nights listening to her woes. It eased off to around twice a week but it was always all about her and she talked over anything I tried to say I tried to say I was having a tough time and got interrupted with "oh, well you wont believe what he said yesterday!" One day I'd had enough and snapped. I interrupted her and kept talking until she shut up when I said "oh thanks for asking how I am, pretty rubbish really, BIL died quite horribly of misdiagnosed cancer a few weeks ago and my mother died yesterday but hey it's not like you give a damn is it!?". I hung up kind of thinking she'd call back and apologise. Nope never heard from her again!!

Lived in California 30 years ago in an inland area where it gets blazing hot. I’d turn on the A/C when I cleaned house.
SIL was visiting. While I was on my hands & knees washing/drying the tile floor, she came in from the garden & dropped her towel, hat, sunglasses, magazines, etc etc in a big pile right in front of me and left filthy disgusting bare foot prints all across the newly clean floor - and proceeded to make a huge mess all over the kitchen, then left all the dishes in front of the tv. She went from room to room leaving messes for me to pick up the entire time she was there -THEN HAD THE BRASS NECK to tell me that my housekeeping left something to be desired.

I have no such stories.

I can't believe how stupid some of you are. No really, what you've allowed yourself to be put through is incomprehensible.

I had a friend years ago, who'd pop round at all sorts of times, mind usually with a maccies in hand! One time he brought his Mrs.

(Setting scene ... I lived in an upstairs flat, and had a literal open door policy (if my door is open, feel free to come in)).

So one day they came both came round, and as they'd beat me to the kitchen, she (his mrs) said, shall I make the coffees.... Sure, help yourself (as per my policy... If you want a drink, help yourself, it's there, so carry on!).

When she brought said coffees in, she says... Your kitchen could do with a clean!

To which I said, there's stuff under the sink, knock yourself out if you're that bothered ... It wasn't that bad, just a few dishes, and maybe the tops n cooker top.

An hour later, she comes back into the front room and asked if we needed refills, sure!

At the time, I lived alone in a flat, and didn't have that many visitors, 3 were regular tho, my mate n his boy, and another really close friend.

Being a typical single man, my flat wasn't spotless, but neither was it it a tip. My attitude, are you here to judge my flat, or see me?

So when she started on about my kitchen, I thought if you're really that worried about MY kitchen, then do something. Don't come to my place and complain of its condition.

Despite being many many years older since then, and now living with my fiancee, I'm still of the ... You come to visit or judge our place?

My fiancee is more of the ... Quick tidy n hoover, someone is coming round.

The day after my c-section my sister, partner and 2 kids came to visit me in hospital. After 5 mins she said she was going to visit someone else who was in the hospital and left her two children for me to mind!

I work with someone who admitted that she would buy a book, read it and check to see if she had made any marks on the spine. If she hadn't she would return it within three days.

I know someone whose attitude to books is rather different. She reckons that books are there to be read, and as such should look as though they've been read. Which would be fine if this just applied to her own books, but unfortunately she extends this attitude to any books she borrows. If you lend her a book there's a good chance that it will come back damaged (and that assumes that it comes back at all - she's also notorious for borrowing things then losing them). On one occasion she was lent a pristine hardback which had been signed by the author, and complained that she couldn't enjoy reading it because she knew she'd have to keep it clean!!!

One of the mums at the school avoids any contact with me we have mutual mum friends but she never even normally looks at me,always found it odd as I'm always friendly!! Anyway I had my house up for sale last year and she walked right up to me at school and said hi helen is that your house I seen online for sale?? Me yeah?? Can I ask you where you got table from in your living room?? Cheeky fucker go away you 😱

I LOVE THIS THREAD
and I've learned that siblings in law are the cheekiest fuckers of all

A local budget supermarket had some spectacular offers on and an (ex) friend of mine asked me if I would go and buy a couple of the things on offer as she wanted to give them to some 'really good' friends for Xmas. I didn't think they were for me and DH , at least I hoped not because they were foot warmers. Then she kept forgetting to pay me and when she did pay it was less than they cost because 'thats how much they were'. Come Xmas came we didn't even get a card . As I said ex friend.