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Original poster

To pelt my cakes at this mum's head in the playground this afternoon? <fume>

939 replies

MarmaladeTwatkins · 27/03/2013 13:00

The school are having a cake sale tomorrow and have BEGGED for donations of cakes. They have been Facebooking about how desperate they are all week as they want to make a dent in the £12,000 target needed for some new play equipment in the playground. One might think that flogging cakes at 30 pee each is not the way to make a dent but that's another thing...

I am pushed for time this week but I thought I could do some cornflake easter nests with some mini eggs on top as a quick alternative to baking and frosting two dozen fairy cakes. So I went out and bought the stuff (which I reckon cost more than they will get from the sales tbh) Then I replied to one of the FB begging messages saying "I will bring some cornflake easter nests tomorrow, will have about 40" Then one of the PTA wimmin replied "Ha ha! That's great but be prepared to take most of them home as they don't sell as well as real cakes."

Fuck. You. Bitch.

OP posts:

DontmindifIdo · 28/03/2013 18:26

she sooo did you a favour missing a slice for you, because after the woo ha, and people from the school obviously reading this thread, if she'd offered you a slice of her lemony curdled cake, you would have looked proper petty and sacrificed your moral high ground if you'd refused it or not eaten it. You'd have had to choke it down to you remained the person who's not been publicly rude.

If she really had any sort of MNer bitch about her, she'd have served you the largest slice, handed to you with a sinister look on her face which would leave you thinking "oh fuck, has she put laxatives in it?" then making you chose between potentially sacrificing your bowel health for the Easter holidays or sacrificing the moral high ground.

And if she really was a bitch, she really would have put laxatives in it.

jumpingjackhash · 28/03/2013 18:24

I have just read this whole thread whilst meant to be working in the office and sniggered all through, cue having to make up all sorts of excuses in response to strange looks from colleagues.

Thank you

HorryIsUpduffed · 28/03/2013 18:21

Oh come on, I used the word BULLY in capitals and disCusted with a C and you didn't all immediately get that I was joking?

Must Try Harder.

I reeeeally want a lemon drizzle cake though. Not a scrambled one, a proper one.

TeamEdward · 28/03/2013 18:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GetOeuf · 28/03/2013 18:18

Happy birthday bumper!

And lol at pushing over thr fruit displays.

I have no idea how people afford to buy to buy all their groceries from there. But it is always packed. I always hope that these sanguine looking people are thinking 'four fucking english pound for one fishcake are they KIDDING' like I am.

FryOneFatManic · 28/03/2013 18:09

I wonder if the large amount of crispie cakes had anything to do with the online comments on FB? And people seeing the chair's response to Marmalade?

And yes, I made some crispie cakes with DS today.... He comes up every two seconds asking if they're ready to eat yet.

mysterymeg · 28/03/2013 18:03

The last time I was in chelt whole foods I threw up in the sink (am pregnant and the last person to use the loo had had a poo related issue). Can I join the team? I really want to push over the fruit displays. How do they stack it like that? And also they spray it with water!! They have actual little bottles for it!!

DatsunCogs · 28/03/2013 18:00

Such a funny thread, just wanted to thank Toby for the 'mole at the checkout' comment, totally using that from now on

DarklydreamingofDamon · 28/03/2013 17:59

This is the funniest thing I've read in ages - and precisely why I avoid all PTA politics!
5 slices is so bloody PA, what a nob!

TobyLerone · 28/03/2013 17:50

In my head, it's to the tune of Bob the Builder

Chocolatemilkshake · 28/03/2013 17:50

I wonder if this is LDC

Bumperlicious · 28/03/2013 17:49

Have loved this thread! Cheered me up from a disappointing birthday.

I love LDC btw, but how the fuck do you scramble it?

Love these cross stitch patterns for anti twee. I can't really do them for my house as my kids are too young to get the irony. This one is safe and v Mn though.

Would love to join in the cake punching in Wholefoods, but fear I'm too much of a good girl. Am always at the people in there doing their week's shopping. Where do people get that sort of money from at the moment?

CatelynStark · 28/03/2013 17:48

I see your Princess and raise you one Empress

In my head, I'm singing it to the tune of Thumbelina...

TobyLerone · 28/03/2013 17:34

Nope, but you have to make me one, too :o

I want mine to say PRINCESS CUNTALINA, though.

iZombie · 28/03/2013 17:34

I'd've given an audible "thank feck for that!" when she simpered there was none left:o

CatelynStark · 28/03/2013 17:33

Toby if I make myself a black t shirt with a pink, swirly & glittery CUNTALINA (perhaps with a My Little Pony rearing up on her hind legs?) on it, do I have to pay you royalties for the word?

Because I'm up for it

MrsPennyapple · 28/03/2013 17:30

Five slices?! HA HA HA HA HA! I love cake and even I'd struggle with a 1.5 inch slab. I bet people were desperately looking for places to dispose of it!

Original poster

MarmaladeTwatkins · 28/03/2013 17:29

I did laugh when she came out with her sliced cake. Like she must have thought I would have been mortally wounded by not being offered a slice of scrambled egg.

OP posts:

CheerfulYank · 28/03/2013 17:18

I'm just picturing her mixing up that cake with fury in her spoon and a murderous glint to her eye. "I'll...show... you ...Marmalade!"

Hahahaha! :o

RandallPinkFloyd · 28/03/2013 17:16

Roar at Cuntalina

TerraNotSoFirma · 28/03/2013 17:14

Wow, LDC really out-cunted herself this afternoon didn't she.

GetOeuf · 28/03/2013 17:12

Hahahahaha at cuntalina mother christ that's priceless

Kneedeepindaisies · 28/03/2013 17:07

cuntalina mother

CatelynStark · 28/03/2013 17:04

I went to lunch with my PA cuntalina mother today and had to chuckle to myself when she was banging on about lemon drizzle cake also filled with bile and fury. Probs

Best. Thread. Ever.

And that's saying something.

TobyLerone · 28/03/2013 17:02

I am very disappointed with the lack of PO on this thread.

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