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Original poster

To pelt my cakes at this mum's head in the playground this afternoon? <fume>

939 replies

MarmaladeTwatkins · 27/03/2013 13:00

The school are having a cake sale tomorrow and have BEGGED for donations of cakes. They have been Facebooking about how desperate they are all week as they want to make a dent in the £12,000 target needed for some new play equipment in the playground. One might think that flogging cakes at 30 pee each is not the way to make a dent but that's another thing...

I am pushed for time this week but I thought I could do some cornflake easter nests with some mini eggs on top as a quick alternative to baking and frosting two dozen fairy cakes. So I went out and bought the stuff (which I reckon cost more than they will get from the sales tbh) Then I replied to one of the FB begging messages saying "I will bring some cornflake easter nests tomorrow, will have about 40" Then one of the PTA wimmin replied "Ha ha! That's great but be prepared to take most of them home as they don't sell as well as real cakes."

Fuck. You. Bitch.

OP posts:

Nancy66 · 27/03/2013 13:32

at the sale just go along and stick your finger in all of the 'real' cakes.

BaronessBomburst · 27/03/2013 13:32

Stick those sparkler things in them.

Original poster

MarmaladeTwatkins · 27/03/2013 13:32

"
Next newsletter, there's a message from the cah who organises it to drum up donations with the proviso ".....please no tins of chickpeas or weird things from the back of your cupboard....".

Horrified but at the same time. Stupid cow! I love chickpeas!

"
Or get a pinny with "I'm with Bitch-face" on and stand next to her."

I think that 50 pee a cake would be better. 50p would also stop the greedy biffs buying PLATEFULS at a time. Seriously, one dad bought TEN CAKES the last sale and then they had to turn people away from the sale because they ran out of cakes. This is why they're so desperate for cacks. Because they keep selling out early. Well, price them more realistically, you thick mares, and you will have a more steady sale.

OP posts:

BaronessBomburst · 27/03/2013 13:31

I've run out of tinned chickpeas. I looked in the cupboard last night and was devastated. We had to have lentils instead and dinner took too bloody long to cook.

minouminou · 27/03/2013 13:30

I know, Babyfirefly.

It's possible that the foodbank looks at non-mainstream foods and thinks "Oh no, we'll never shift this...." but a simple "We'd prefer more conventional/recognisable/simple foods, please, as it's likely to be more appreciated...." would have done the trick.

Anyway - send the email to the lemon-sucking madam....and then make some amazing flake-cakes. With Mini Eggs and a free wire and pom-pom chick to go with it.

Go on.

anotheryearolder · 27/03/2013 13:30

Take your nests in - prime all your friends and their DC to RUN and buy your cakes. Then give her the finger

Ok dont give her the finger just smile smugly ... can you tell how much I loathed all that cake oneupmanship crap!

toobreathless · 27/03/2013 13:29

YANBU.

Agree I wouldn't bother.

I would put a comment on fb saying 'how lovely it must be to have so little to do that you have the time to bake 'real' cakes & spend all day on Facebook.

Creamtea1 · 27/03/2013 13:29

that above is the best course of action

anklebitersmum · 27/03/2013 13:29

[snorting coffee out of nose] at KatieMiddleton

Please, please PM me if you ever start selling these.

livinginwonderland · 27/03/2013 13:28

oooh i want some now! i love chocolate crispy cakes!

5Foot5 · 27/03/2013 13:27

Yes what tutu said but I wouldn't be able to resist adding something sarcastic like "Great motivational skills MrsX"

BTW I don't do FB but if you reply on there does that mean everyone will see it. If so, please do and show her up the snooty cow!

StealthPolarBear · 27/03/2013 13:27

I have to admit I do prefer cupcakes to crispy cakes. But I accept I am wrong!

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 27/03/2013 13:27

I really would text back and say "ok I won't bother then" and then don't .

StealthPolarBear · 27/03/2013 13:26

Katir I am meant ti be taking my DC to the doctors and you are making me late, as I'm going to have to wipe the tears of mirth from my eyes

How about a fridge magnet "I never cook with wine. I just drink it and order a take away"

MoominmammasHandbag · 27/03/2013 13:26

At our school bake sale the resident domestic goddess berated my friend for bringing in shop bought cakes. My friend had a two weeK old baby and a seriously ill husband.
Goddess mum will never know how close she came to being lynched with her Kath Kidston pinny by a group of righteously irate mums.

minouminou · 27/03/2013 13:26

Re cake sale economics, our school held one recently where the cakes were a quid a pop!

juanca · 27/03/2013 13:26

Can you hire a local rent-a-mob to turn up and start screaming 'OH MY GOD, CRISPY CAKES!' and fall on you like a pack of wolves and shower you with a basket of 10p's?

Am so sick of cupcakes. They are dead to me, I don't even see them anymore. I would be all over your crispy cakes.

VanitasVanitatum · 27/03/2013 13:25

Say 'I'm sorry, did you mean to be that rude?'

Then pelt her with frozen cornflake nests anyway.

StealthPolarBear · 27/03/2013 13:25

at the chickpeas
They're so versatile too

KatieMiddleton · 27/03/2013 13:25

That is so rude. Please reply:

Yes, you are the expert on cakes that do not sell. I will save my time and just eat the mini eggs myself

Or get a pinny with "I'm with Bitch-face" on and stand next to her. Actually I'm thinking a range of PTA inspired, passive-aggressive homewards and gifts would make a fortune.

Bunting the spells out CUNT in naice Cath Kidston florals, MOTHER FUCKER tea towels and the pinnies.

I'd buy them.

babyfirefly1980 · 27/03/2013 13:25

Theres gratitude for you..what a miserable mare.

StealthPolarBear · 27/03/2013 13:25

And given what I've just said this would be completely illogical but I'll happily pay you £2 to eat one yourself, as another person hgas mentioned, 'sell' them on MN and make loads of money, that'll shut her up
(which of course would be the main aim!)

anklebitersmum · 27/03/2013 13:24

at Sparklingbrook

LauraShigihara · 27/03/2013 13:24

At DS' s school, those cornflakes cakes are like crack cocaine. The kids would happily fight each other to the death for one.

If we were selling them with mini eggs on them, we would have to take weapons.

minouminou · 27/03/2013 13:24

What a crass response from her. If they've got Mini Eggs on top, of course they'll bloody sell.
I'd be so tempted to respond, copying everyone in, with Tutu's idea.

I donated some food to our school's foodbank scheme (which sends the donations to the city foodbank). OK, it was a couple of tins of chickpeas and some mystery tin of food from the local Chinese supermarket, but fuck it, it's food.

Next newsletter, there's a message from the cah who organises it to drum up donations with the proviso ".....please no tins of chickpeas or weird things from the back of your cupboard....".

Get fucked.

OK, I get that they may not help if no-one wants them (I would hope at least the chickpeas would be appreciated, though), but what a churlish message.

No more rooting in my cupboards for your glorification, missus.......

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