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Original poster

To pelt my cakes at this mum's head in the playground this afternoon? <fume>

939 replies

MarmaladeTwatkins · 27/03/2013 13:00

The school are having a cake sale tomorrow and have BEGGED for donations of cakes. They have been Facebooking about how desperate they are all week as they want to make a dent in the £12,000 target needed for some new play equipment in the playground. One might think that flogging cakes at 30 pee each is not the way to make a dent but that's another thing...

I am pushed for time this week but I thought I could do some cornflake easter nests with some mini eggs on top as a quick alternative to baking and frosting two dozen fairy cakes. So I went out and bought the stuff (which I reckon cost more than they will get from the sales tbh) Then I replied to one of the FB begging messages saying "I will bring some cornflake easter nests tomorrow, will have about 40" Then one of the PTA wimmin replied "Ha ha! That's great but be prepared to take most of them home as they don't sell as well as real cakes."

Fuck. You. Bitch.

:(

OP posts:
KoalaFace · 28/03/2013 10:46

Mwahaha at speednob! The difference between the first four and the last 1 or 2 (last one looks like a photo, or i am very impressed) is so huge ::snigger:: it really made me laugh.

xigris · 28/03/2013 10:46

I will gladly donate £50 if you draw a great big cock on the LDC replete with ejaculate. The addition of chocolate strand pubes would be most welcome. Even better if you can get it on the trestle table before anyone notices ("Mummy, what's that on that cake?"). Wrong I know but I'm cold and bored, this thread had made my day! Grin

Original poster
MarmaladeTwatkins · 28/03/2013 10:46

Cornflake cake recipe is thus:

  1. melt some chocolate in a bowl which is sat on a pan above some simmering water.
  1. When it has all melted, stir in cornflakes until they are all coated with choclate.
  1. Spoon into cases.

It is tricky but perfection comes with practice Wink

OP posts:
Poledra · 28/03/2013 10:45

I hate speednobs - they gie me the boak. I am relaxed about other vulgar graffiti, but not that

GetOeuf · 28/03/2013 10:45

I have just roared at that speedknob link

GetOeuf · 28/03/2013 10:43

lol at speednobs.

This was a big willy with a a glans and a bellend line, with no hair on the bollocks though, and some drips (which looked more like Pierrot tears tbh).

We would have been great friends at school marm. Apart from the Kurt Cobain debacle.

Original poster
MarmaladeTwatkins · 28/03/2013 10:43

Speednob explained

OP posts:
KoalaFace · 28/03/2013 10:42

Oh this gets better and better!

The addition of Headlouse Lover was splendiferous!

mezza123 · 28/03/2013 10:42

OP, will you give away your cornflake cake recipe or is it a family secret? I made some recently but they were way too sticky, not how I remember them from my childhood at all. I want to make some easter nests too!

Original poster
MarmaladeTwatkins · 28/03/2013 10:41

My school isn't really a "Mumsnetty" school IYSWIM? There is no Boden to be seen anywhere, lots of onesies and FUggs though. It's more of a Nethuns type place.

Speednobs they are called (when you draw a nob on a surface in a restricted area) There is a technique to the speednob which enables you to draw the glans in the least amount of time. If you are daring, you may add driplets of Harry Monk and a line on the bellend to make it more realistic. Extra points for hair on bollocks.

OP posts:
Original poster
MarmaladeTwatkins · 28/03/2013 10:38

I have a Blackberry MrsDV but I can't seem to upload from it onto the internet. I am not very tech savvy.I don't even know why I've got the thing tbh :(

Plus, the head was in there admiring all of the offerings so I couldn't have done it earlier!

OP posts:
TolliverGroat · 28/03/2013 10:37

The sale is this afternoon, SPB.

Nanabana · 28/03/2013 10:36

I think my lifespan may have been increased a little because I have been laughing so hard since reading this thread last night and was rocking with laughter all the way in to work while catching up! Between this thread and another thread about reasons why MNers hate their bastard fecking pet dog/cat, I have had a great couple of days!
I still havent read full thread, did lemon drizzle face reveal herself? Surely there must be other parents from the school who have seen the Facebook posts who are also on this thread? Reveal yourselves and tell us what you think!!!

GetOeuf · 28/03/2013 10:36

Yes I knew someone had said that they did rude cross stitch.

lol at willywillywilly in dripping icing.

Or a big willy a la 5th form.

I remember the most joyous moment of my school life was when I was carrying some equipment from one classroom to the other during lesson time, and for some reason decided to draw a great big 6 foot high willy (avec drips) on a glass door in F block. And then scampered away. It had a crowd and a miserable looking caretkaer scrubbing it next time I looked. Grin

I was a complete SQUARE at school and nobody would have thought I would do such a thing. I loved it.

How childish I am.

FryOneFatManic · 28/03/2013 10:34

I didn't makes cakes for cakes sales before I saw a comment last year (or even before that) from a MNer who said she bought cheap fairy cakes, popped them in the oven for a couple of minutes to get the burnt "home made" look and then dusted icing sugar over them.

Have now done that a couple of times and it works for me!

Meanwhile, I know I make a good lemon drizzle, but as our schools finished on Friday and I'm not on the PTA I know it's not me! Grin

Can't wait for updates.

MrsDeVere · 28/03/2013 10:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 28/03/2013 10:34

Nests for headlice - what a kind idea - I can't imagine why no-one has done it before. Will no-one think of the poor headlice babies??

EffieTheDuck · 28/03/2013 10:34

Please put the lemon sweaty cake out of its misery. Could you 'drop' it?

WilsonFrickett · 28/03/2013 10:34

Isobar, do you like lemon drizzle cake?

Poledra · 28/03/2013 10:33

Oh yes - cornflake cakes with real hatching headlice on 'em - there's a seller!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 28/03/2013 10:33

Or she could take in one of those icing pens you use for cake decorating, and write WILLYWILLYWILLY on the drizzle cake!

MrsDeVere · 28/03/2013 10:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MarmaladeTwatkins · 28/03/2013 10:32

LOL at "use your loaf"

I am at home now. Bake sale is after school. I will try and get a picture of the sweaty lemon drizzel slab. I think she wraps it in cling film BEFORE it has cooled off, that's where the sweaty effect comes from. I imagine it probably steams the inside of the cake, too. Mmmmm, sweaty AND claggy. I can't imagine why it is still sat there on it's own at the end, I really can't.

OP posts:
chocoflump · 28/03/2013 10:31

Hahahaha would LOVE OP to ice a dripping willy onto the cake!! I would pee myself laughing!!

GetOeuf · 28/03/2013 10:29

ITS

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