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Original poster

To pelt my cakes at this mum's head in the playground this afternoon? <fume>

939 replies

MarmaladeTwatkins · 27/03/2013 13:00

The school are having a cake sale tomorrow and have BEGGED for donations of cakes. They have been Facebooking about how desperate they are all week as they want to make a dent in the £12,000 target needed for some new play equipment in the playground. One might think that flogging cakes at 30 pee each is not the way to make a dent but that's another thing...

I am pushed for time this week but I thought I could do some cornflake easter nests with some mini eggs on top as a quick alternative to baking and frosting two dozen fairy cakes. So I went out and bought the stuff (which I reckon cost more than they will get from the sales tbh) Then I replied to one of the FB begging messages saying "I will bring some cornflake easter nests tomorrow, will have about 40" Then one of the PTA wimmin replied "Ha ha! That's great but be prepared to take most of them home as they don't sell as well as real cakes."

Fuck. You. Bitch.

:(

OP posts:
Lucyellensmum95 · 28/03/2013 13:39

PMSL at trifle shaking, you could get away wiht that Grin

RandallPinkFloyd · 28/03/2013 13:39

How did I miss this gem?!

The cake must punched undoubtedly, logistics are tricky though. I would suggest paying a small child and delegating punching duties.

GetOeuf · 28/03/2013 13:39

And bend a load of baguettes like pipe cleaners and run away.

You will probably be surprised to hear that I am a normal person and a rather conservative civil servant in RL.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 28/03/2013 13:38

You and Frankelly have really raised the bar on supermarket patisserie-product-related pranks, GetOeuf!

youmaycallmeSSP · 28/03/2013 13:37

What the woman wrote was rude and untrue to boot but I think the OP has been unneccessarily cruel on this thread.

There's always one Wink

Original poster
MarmaladeTwatkins · 28/03/2013 13:37

Just do one cake. Imagine if you get caught, they would make you pay the bill and if you do one cake that is fine, you just stump up one cake but if you've decked like, five cakes, you could be looking at £30!

God, I have thought too much about this.

OP posts:
GetOeuf · 28/03/2013 13:36

You need to go to Waitrose and punch one of the ridiculously overpriced birthday cakes.

Whilst you are at it give a couple of trifles a really vigorous shake and put it back on the shelf upside down.

Am I a complete moron yes for laughing to myself at the thought of trifle shaking?

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn · 28/03/2013 13:34

HQ emailed me to say they are considering this thread for Classics Grin

So is cake punching similar to playing Boggies, or is it a once off affair - ie do you just punch the one cake, or try to do several progressively bigger ones?

Original poster
MarmaladeTwatkins · 28/03/2013 13:27

You can punch any cake you wish but I must tell you, you won;t get the frisson you get from punching a cake in a shop by punching a cake in your kitchen. There'll be no furtively looking around for shop people who might be watching your act of patisserie sabotage. No scurrying away from the scene of the crime.

Get yourself down to your nearest supermarket and find the cake section. The best thrill comes from punching the expensive, poncey ones. It's alright punching in a carrot cake or a vicki spounge but you will feel extra bad ass if you can stove in a delicate little box of cream cakes with their stupid iced faces. M&S do a box of mixed cakes, fresh cream oysters, cream slices and fresh cream scones. I haven't had the opportunity to punch one of these boxes in yet but it is on my wish list.

OP posts:
CheerfulYank · 28/03/2013 13:22

I am beyond excited to see how this all turns out...

Flumpyflumps · 28/03/2013 13:11

Is the cake punching limited to only LDC?
I have an urge now to punch the Victoria sponge that's in my kitchen

FrankWippery · 28/03/2013 13:08

I want to play the sandwich punch game now Grin

TwoPoundCharityShopShoes · 28/03/2013 12:53

best thread ever!

Original poster
MarmaladeTwatkins · 28/03/2013 12:42

Panda, you sound like my kind of gal.

OP posts:
GetOeuf · 28/03/2013 12:35

Grin panda you big bloody kid

TastesLikePanda · 28/03/2013 12:34

Sandwich punch game - to be played in our local greasy spoon caff...

As soon as you take a bite of your sandwich, anyone else can punch it unless you either keep it in your hand or place a non food item on top of it (napkin etc)

As soon as you know the rules of the sandwich punch game you are assumed to be an active participant.

Its funnier than it sounds childish.

GetOeuf · 28/03/2013 12:21

oooh what's the sandwich punch game?

GetOeuf · 28/03/2013 12:19

Oh it would be so satisfying to punch a cake really hard.

I get a similar thrill from smashing fuck into an easter egg (but it sometimes HURTS).

One year when dd was away I hungover really fancied some chocolate and the only stuff in the house was a massive great big chocolate easter bunny which belonged to dd. I had to have it, but it was very thick chocolate so in my weakened state I couldn't get into it. So I smashed the bunny's head into a door frame. THAT worked. It was great.

Regretted it later when I had to scour the shops in rage looking for a replacement (I couldn't find one so had to own up to dd in the end).

TastesLikePanda · 28/03/2013 12:19

Love this thread! Actually cried with laughter at 'fuck you right up the bum'

I told off my friends this week for playing the sandwich punch game that they invented... And now I really want you to punch the cake!

Lucyellensmum95 · 28/03/2013 12:08

WHY isn't this in classics yet??

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 28/03/2013 12:07

Yes she is, MmeThenardier.

Should I mention cake-punching to the dses??

wetsand · 28/03/2013 12:07

I can imagine how satisfying it would be to punch a cake now.

Rather like destroying an Easter egg by balancing it upright and smashing your fist down on to it.

wetsand · 28/03/2013 12:05

crying with laughter at:

'I would say (as someone who aches to punch cakes) it is probably just for the sheer joy in seeing a cake with its head kicked in'

I have to try it.

DeafLeopard · 28/03/2013 12:02

Marmalade single handedly raises the £12k by staging a cake punching competition

MmeThenardier · 28/03/2013 12:01

So is Marmalade really Bupcakes?