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Original poster

fecking animals are driving me nuts and i am going to kill them all

218 replies

TeggieCampbeggBlegg · 26/03/2013 08:39

cat. In and out and in and out and in and out and in and out and food food food food food.

BigDog. Follow cat and breathe and pant and herd and pant and bark and herd and breathe and bark.

SmallDog. When not shagging the cat wilk not leave BigDog alone. Nose up arse and lick and lick and yap and yap snd lick snd sniff and luck and sniff.

All. The. Fucking. Time. Round. And. Round. And. Round. In. Circles.

I no longer love them. In fact I hate them all.

OP posts:
cq · 26/03/2013 09:13

My two bastards won't set foot out the door voluntarily in this weather, oh no, too cold mummy, nasty snow mummy.

But as soon as I so much as move the fecking leads, they are leaping around like spring lambs, ooh yes mummy, yes yes yes it's lovely out there if only you come with us.

If spring isn't here soon there will be 2 dogs playing on the M4.

stopfightingandtidyupthismess · 26/03/2013 09:12

My cat does the bed changing thing. Looks all indignant when I attempt to change the covers, and the dog jumps up and down yapping in order to get the cats attention. Cat hisses at the dog, stalks off and lays down on the bed that I'll be doing next (and once they are all done, will choose a freshly made bed to shed all over).

The other cat is very loud, and from about 9pm at night will yowl repeatedly until we put fresh tinned food in the bowl. Despite the fact we probably did it just a few minutes before, if he didn't see it done, it isn't fresh.

Since having the dog though, we've not had a problem with dead mice or other small creatures...

MoreBeta · 26/03/2013 09:11

Chickens!

I have three in my garden. The cockerel just wants to kill everything including me. The 'one eyed pirate' hen climbs trees and falls out of them into the road. The Asil hen is permanently broody, steals the eggs of the other hen and then refuses to drink or eat.

They aren't even mine! Grrrr...!

Pilfette · 26/03/2013 09:11

Never forgiven mine really for making me pick up dissected frogs from the sitting room carpet. With a hangover bad enough that I couldn't work out what I was picking up with my bare hands until I picked up a leg with a flipper on the end eight years ago. No I don't hold grudges So glad we no longer have a garden with a pond.

PersonalClown · 26/03/2013 09:07

Oh the joys of bed changing. My dogs lay in the middle of the bed and give you a soul crushing withering look as if to say 'You expect ME to move!'

Bastards.

JenaiMorris · 26/03/2013 09:07

I'm crying now.

These poor creatures are hated by the person who should love them most. What hope do they have, living with such hostility? :(

dingit · 26/03/2013 09:03

Maybe spring is in the air. After boxing me on the nose to get up, my cat has run up and down the hall, skidding on the laminate, and worse helped me change the bed. Trying to put a king size duvet on with a fat lump in the middle ( the cat, DH has gone to work)

Pollykitten · 26/03/2013 08:58

Endless decaptitated mice and back legs of rabbits.... cunts.

Pilfette · 26/03/2013 08:57

Cat always wanting to be on the other fecking side of the fecking door. I have mumsnetting to do an essay to write.

Also, DH gave him tuna this morning so he is manic and doing comedy cartoon cat charging around, complete with wheeling paws and mad skidding.

Go To Sleep You Wretched Animal.

Original poster
TeggieCampbeggBlegg · 26/03/2013 08:55

Oh god.

Moulting.

[sob]

OP posts:
Original poster
TeggieCampbeggBlegg · 26/03/2013 08:55

Sanctimonious fuckers are quite welcome to come and rescue the poor animals.

OP posts:
PersonalClown · 26/03/2013 08:54

Poor animals. Grin

I'm tackling the problem of shedding early. Doodle is off for a bath and a shave.
I will get the bugger clean and tidy if it kills me!

GetOeuf · 26/03/2013 08:50

I am waiting for the first sanctimonious fucker who posts 'poor animals Sad'

GetOeuf · 26/03/2013 08:48

Well now the spring is coming (hollow laugh) you will have fleas and all the moulting hair to look forward to as well. Bastards.

auforfoulkesake · 26/03/2013 08:47

you get used to the smell though

EeyoresGloomyPlace · 26/03/2013 08:46

Ah horses are easy, shut stable door, go home :) and ignore the fact you have to get up at 5am to let them out and shovel shit the next morning

Original poster
TeggieCampbeggBlegg · 26/03/2013 08:43

And DD2 wants a horse. HA! No fucking way.

OP posts:
BarbaraRoberts · 26/03/2013 08:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.