what the most hilarious and groundless parental complaint you've ever fielded?

Sewn not seen*

Love these!!

I once had a parent complain because I had sent her son home with the wrong jumper. The jumper had his name in, but she insisted it was not his as his was smaller. It was brand new fitted him perfectly and had his name on. He eventfully insisted to his mum that it was his! Did she really think I happened to have one of her name tags and had seen it in?!

Same parent also complained that the head should increase the size of the classroom as she couldn't fit her double buggy round all the tables when 29 other parents were also trying to drop their children off.
We offered a member of staff to go outside and wait with her double buggy with 1 baby in but she declined. instead she wanted us to go and collect the whole class from the playground to save her the hassle. That is not the type of school we are so politely declined!

I once had a parent come in about her son's science actual summer GCSE exam. she wasn't sure he could make the exam and wondered if we could move it to the next day

Not a complaint, but could have been. A colleague was doing a topic on 'ourselves' and one parent brought in the video of their child's birth to be shared with the class (apparently you could see his 'enterance into the world'), can't remember how she politely declined but can you imagine the complaints if that had been shown to a Reception class!

Am not a teacher either but along with loads if others enjoying this thread very much .

I promise I am not a parent like any of the I ones mentioned here lol.

Parent once complained that I was punishing her for giving her son a sat detention (standard sanction, in home-school agreement, that she had signed).

Her complaint was she didn't want to get up and didn't want PFB to get the bus (through a busy city) on his own at 'that hour'.

That's 11am on a Saturday - PFB was 15YO....

I'm not a teacher but was helping on a school trip my ds class was going on. In the morning one mum stormed up just as we were getting on the coach demanding written confirmation that none of the parent helpers would be holding hands with her child. Further, she wanted written confurnation that none of the parent helpers would be allowed to take their child to the bathroom or even hold the public toilet door open. The teacher tried to explain that a parent may need to stand in the public toilet area but not inside the toilet to safeguard the child's safety, or to count in/out the kids but this mum was going mental. Held us all up and I could tell the teacher was annoyed.

After 20 minutes the teacher said ' either we set off with parent helpers or we will have to ask your child to stay behind'. Needless to say she pissed off v quickly.

"Girls' school skirts go bobbly in the wash and look awful after only a few weeks' wear. "

Now this one doesn't seem that unreasonable to me if the school (as many do) are insisting on a particular style from their shop, charging a fortune for it, and it is crap quality.

I haven't complained to school, but I've certainly had a moan to friends about the school sweatshirts which are expensive, very cheapy-articificial feeling & fall apart pretty much instantly.

Whatphifi, yours was a totally understandable complaint! Why would anyone mock that? Surely you can see the difference between that and the less rational complaints on this lighthearted thread? Come on, don't be such a grump. I think you are deliberately misunderstanding the tone of this thread.

I once had a father barge into the class where I was teaching (primary) and yell at me that I was deliberately dismissing the class late so that everyone would miss kick off! there was a major match starting at 3. Pm and I was 2 mins late-it was the World Cup or something. we were handing out something special at home time and it took a bit longer than planned but I genuinely forgot about the match ! Was upsetting tbh as I had supported the dc from this needy family to the best of my ability and thought we had a good rapport.

Further to my post above - the girl was not ridiculed in the front of the class because the medals had been given out at the end of the race as each child crossed the line. A lot of the children wore the medal to school in the following week and that is how they found out that their daughter did not have one. - Sorry pressed post too soon above

I had a parent flame me that their daughter had not received a medal for a cross country race when the rest of the children had. - The fact that she had not competed meant nothing to them, she had not been sick or injured, it was just because the parent did not want to get up ridiculed in front of the class because the rest of them all had a medal It was because she had not been there, no sign, did not turn up. They reported me to the school,
the governers, the local authority and the sports governing body.

These are hilarious :)

Not a teacher, but was an interfering PTA busybody for a while and got to see the minutes of the class reps meeting with head of pre prep...

1. Conkers are falling off the chestnut trees and are potentially exceedingly dangerous. One actually hit a lady ON THE HEAD...imagine if it was a child. What are you doing to do about it?
2. The school uniform sweaters get a lot of static electricity in them and make the children's hair stand on end every time they change for PE. What are you going to do about it?
3. Girls' school skirts go bobbly in the wash and look awful after only a few weeks' wear. What are you going to do about it?
4. The building work at the (private) house across the road (opposite the main school building) is taking too long and causing a worsening of congestion at school run time. What are you going to do about it?

Can I add one from the other side. When my Precious was in Reception, they had to wear shirts, ties and blazers.
One very hot day the teacher on morning gate duty was in shorts and a sleeveless top and sandals.

I marched into the Head Teacher's office and lodged and 'official' complaint. I actually missed my train to make the complaint.

I still blush when I think of it. I hope the staff all mocked me in the staffroom.

I love the one about videoing the finish at the sports day - how mad/stupid/deluded is that?!

My dad has kept some of the letters he had from parents over the years. One of which was explaining that their child hadn't been in the previous day as he was suffering from bumbago.

I'm taking notes here! This thread is really funny. Classics, please!

Actually, I might win the 'role model' award.

I was at a music festival. Bumped into mother of lad I teach being copiously sick in loo. Was quite pissed myself, but not to the point of up-chuck.

I asked if she was OK, passed her a paper towel, commiserated re: pukey dribble on her top. All perfectly amicable. Then I headed back into main venue, cannoning off three walls no doubt in order to do so.

Forgot all about it, until several weeks later when the Deputy Head had a quiet word with me - he also teaches the ds & had had to ring parents about his recent poor exam result. He suggested the boy hadn't done much revision over recent half term holiday.

Parents cheerfully agreed this was probably the case. However, they explained that they had left him unattended whilst they went off to a festival for three days - 'mind you, we all need to let our hair down, & it was half term...if his English teacher's out getting pissed, ha ha, we can't exactly blame our Ben for not working all holiday!'

The festival in question is over a hundred miles away from our home town...

Thought of another one, parent complained I had been seen in Burger King on a Saturday lunchtime as this went against healthy eating policy.
She would have had more to complain about had she seen me at my friend's hen party the night before!

A dad of a reception child told us to keep another child away from his PFB otherwise he would go to the police. A week later the other child apparently jostled PFB whilst lining up and the dad said it was unacceptable and he was going to go to the local paper about it.

Child didn't feel like coming to his violin lesson at school. Explained would need to come because no message from parents to say otherwise. Came along happily enough. Later that day - email from dad to my line manager saying I'd kidnapped his son and "forcibly held him against his will" thereby causing him psychological damage.

Parent came with apparent video evidence showing that her child won the egg and spoon race. It didn't. The mums at the finish line got it right.
I set reading homework for Wednesday as due to long weekend we were off on the Monday and Tuesday. Parent complained that they couldn't go back in time to do homework for the day before. I had to point out that there would in fact be another Wednesday next week.

Not a complaint but an absence excuse. A year 11 pupil rode his motorbike (moped) into school, but on an icy day his mum rang the school to inform us that he wouldn't be coming in as it was too dangerous for the bike and "he doesn't do the bus"!