what the most hilarious and groundless parental complaint you've ever fielded?

That was the summation of a 5 page letter, btw. The boy's form tutor was in fits of hysterics whilst I read it, as she had a bit of a track record :o

That insisting a boy purchased a new exercise book and copied his 6 pages of work into it was unfair because the swastikas he'd drawn all over his old one were just an expression of his personality and an Indian peace symbol.

A good friend who's a secondary teacher once took a phone call from a father who was so apoplectic that his son had been put in detention that he lost the power of cogent speech; and ended up spluttering "FUCK - NOW - BOLLOCK - OFF" before slamming the phone down in rage

Parents with secondary kids who are lacking organisation skills demand that the school replace the 'stolen' stationery, bags, watches and clothes all the time.

What do they expect staff to do; follow their kids 24/7 and pick up after them?

And the un-named, un-claimed, valuable/designer stuff that's in the lost property box...well..that's another story.

We had worse than that - a parent claimed her son's coat was stolen and literally tore it off the 5 year old child wearing it in the street.

School secretary told me this on friday (we were sorting lost property)

parent phones and insists that he dcs coat has been STOLEN. Have you looked in the lost property box? - no. Is the coat named? - no.
secretary suggests lost property and passes on message to teacher about lost coat.
coat eventually turns up.

About 3 weeks later: same parent phones, someone has STOLEN coat. Is it named? - no. Have you looked in lost property - no.
coat eventually turns up.

about 3 weeks later....

you get the idea. The last time she insisted that coat was unique, and recognisable. When asked to describe it, it was Asda coat. We have large local Asda, there are about 5 of those coats in school. Was it named - no - but the labe was coloured in yellow, so it was easily recognisable (to whom?)

Lots of posters have implied that parents who want the best for their children are being rediculous.

I have been into school and fought like a lioness for my kids. I bet they had a right laugh in the staff room BUT I'm still finding these threads funny.

I actually think that DoubleYew is making an excellent point.

Light hearted thread or not I think it is horrid to imply that a parent who can't bear to sit next to their ex is being ridiculous. And to imply that the school would always know the full background is utterly naive.

Loving the rest of the thread though :)

DoubleYew. I feel lots of sympathy for your situation but his is a light hearted thread and people are bound to tread on toes.

I have been upset by teachers' comments in reality but I think this thread is a different context. I'm sure HanneHolm didn't mean to make fun; she was trying to get across the complexities of how family situations and school arrangements clash.

at Doubleyew

Gee thanks HanneHolm. Hope it never happens to you. Perhaps you won#t feel like telling strangers about it.

I once had to arrange parents evening around a right soap opera. Child A's mum had been shagging child b's dad in the village pub's toilets. 4 separate appointments for both sets of parents and they couldn't set eyes on each other in case there was another huge row.

Love it missmapp!

FE is more likely to do vocational subjects alongside / instead of A Levels. We had catering, beauty, travel, car maintenance, etc, as well as English, Maths, Chemistry, etc. And lots of English and Maths GCSE resits.

Penguin FE - further education, so A Levels, BTEC - sixth form is FE but not all FE means sixth form

I once separated warring parents on the playground, as I led one sobbing mother away she said

" the thing is missmapp, she called me a fat slag - and I'm not fat"

What is this FE college that so many talk of?

Doubleyew...usually in cases of domestic violence, the school is kept aware...especially if there is a need to keep members of the family apart

Doubleyew no-one would dispute the need for separate appointments under those circumstances. I think the point still stands for many divorced parents though. I'll never forget the poor girl in my class forced to sit through two appointments with each teacher on the same night.

Amazing thread :o

Once had a Y1 parent complaining about my blatant breach of health and safety' and how 'I'd endangered her child and others'. What had I done? I'd let them use a stainless steel cutlery knife during a supervised cooking activity (we were making sandwiches). She was concerned someone could have seriously cut themselves or someone else. I asked her if child used cutlery to eat his school lunch and dinner at home. 'Of course' was the reply, so I explained to her that as the children could safely use a cutlery knife when feeding themselves, I was confident they could use them in the classroom under supervision.