what the most hilarious and groundless parental complaint you've ever fielded?

Poppy I don't know weather to laugh or cry!

So many of these are familiar. A few of my own favourites from 10 years in the classroom:

1. Teaching at a school at the other end of the country to my home town, a parent complained that because I had a different accent to her child he felt inferior. Apparently the fact that I didn't drop my aitches was the root of the problem.

1. The mother who rang up at 3.23 (school finishes at 3.15) to complain that I had confiscated her child's can of pop when he opened it mid-lesson and refused to put it away. Apparently when he got it back at the end of the lesson it was flat and she wanted me to refund him the 50p so that he could get a new one. I could hear the lad shouting to his mother and she just repeated it down the phone to me. Had to transfer her to HOY after 30 minutes of circular argument.

1. Parents who requested a meeting because they didn't want their child learning about 'darkies' in RE (this meant studying Islam). Banged on about removing their child from the lesson, which is allowed. When told that they would have to make arrangements to pick him up and drop him back 50 minutes later, they suddenly had less of a problem with the curriculum.

1. Letter from parents explaining that they had not allowed their child to do a piece of homework (leaflet trying to recruit luddites to the cause) as most luddites would have been illiterate so therefore the homework was not historically accurate.

1. Parent at parents evening who asked me to write an essay comparing Hitler to Robert Mugabe so that they could assess whether or not I was intelligent enough to teach their child GCSE History.

1. Parents of a child with 53 behaviour incidents in one half-term (not all in my lessons, btw) who believed that him threatening to hit me over the head with my laptop was a result of a 'personality clash'. They would be appealing his 5 day exclusion as he had only expressed a 'desire' to brain me, not actually done it, and I could have solved the problem by not winding him up (I had refused to unblock the internet in form so that he could play on internet games).

Place marking.

HopingNotToBeOneOfTheseParentsTiggaxx

Love this thread! It brings back memories!

Hope this doesn't out me but in for a penny in for a pound!

A few years ago I had a parent screaming at me that their DS had hit another pupil because they didn't respect me as I was too young and inexperienced. They ranted down the phone for a full ten minutes and went on to say DS needed a teacher who had the experience to deal with DS's specific SEN. This was then followed by how I didn't know DS at all and had not built any relationship with him.

After listening to this I calmly explained that I was in fact in my late thirties, had taught pupils with SEN for 14 years, worked with them for 3 1/2 years before that and had a DD with SEN. I also went on to say that I had a post grad qualification in Ds's specific SEN and had been an advisor on this. She was a bit when I said that I was surprised she felt I didn't know her DS at all, as two years earlier I had taught DS for 2 years! If she had turned up to any of the meetings she had asked for that term she might have realised who I was.

OK, who's doing it?

Not bad, but you need to bung in some screechy stuff about knowing lots of teachers & they all finish work by 4pm...

I can't do it, I own up. I was trying to provoke a quick row with that last post for funnies. But I feel guilty. So I'm sorry.

Though clearly the parent could complain about my poor grammar in previous post!

I agree, this argument is becoming circular. I will bow out and stop derailing the thread.

But you're wrong

I have a new hilarious and groundless the complaint.
The parent who has labelled me as uncaring, unsupportive, inflexible and lacking imagination without ever having met me.

But the parent might be interested I the teacher's professional background because that may have a bearing on the way they perform.

Anyway - apologies to OP for derailing the thread (which I have found very funny).

But you're talking about experience in terms of years in the job, aren't you? If you're talking about primary teachers.

Like I said, if I were on an interviewing panel and were recruiting a teacher, then a CV might be a helpful tool.

But as a parent, a CV is not of any use or help since a parent doesn't interview or employ the teacher.

Well obviously you wouldn't rely solely on a cv would you. You would meet the teacher anyway, you would have various interactions. It would be an additional piece of information.

I also highly rate my ds's current NQT but actually didn't feel that his teacher last year (been at the school for long time, obviously experienced in terms of years in the post) was as good a fit for him.

Based solely on my own interactions with the two different teachers and also on ds's enthusiasm.

But other parents felt quite the reverse. Different kids and different parents.

Having a CV wouldn't have made a jot of difference to me and my own interpretation.

Oh come on. That incompletely disingenuous. Of course a teacher's experience will impact on their ability in a role.

I don't think your gp's cv is really relevant here. But I presume that if you were looking for a specialist you would do a bit of research? Look at their experience?

Luckily my dcs' school is a bit more caring and understanding and tries to support parents. I like to think that they have a bit more imagination as well and are able to think more flexibly to come up with solutions to parents' problems. I have only had to speak to the head twice but I like to think she would try to be understanding, even if she didn't think the subject matter was that important.

Really?

I know that the doctors at my GP surgery will be qualified doctors.

I know that the teachers at my dcs' state school are qualified teachers.

As a lay person, non doctor, non teacher, knowing whether they taught at X school or worked at y gp sugery previously does nothing to tell me anything more about their fitness to treat/teach.

Sorry I'm not accommodating enough for you Bessie.
I didn't think manning toilets was a good use of staff ( though we did get the kids to make posters to help them remember)
At my school we don't mix classes every year, and my biggest objection to the parents suggestion was that they would tell us when it was appropriate to split the children, I assume at your school the teachers make that decision not the parents.
Finally, I do not ask to see the CVs of the doctors at my GPs surgery before booking am appointment.

I disagree, pooka. I think you can tell a lot from a cv, particularly for lawyers and docs, but that is a different matter. I think experience can be hugely valuable and a cv will detail that.

Well, I don't think it's unreasonable to want to see the teachers' professional qualifications and experience. If you read my post, I said I wasn't interested but I can understand why someone might want to know.

What I mean is, in my profession (not teaching) a CV would tell you that I have x number of years experience, am qualified and where I've worked before. It wouldn't tell you whether I am good at my job.

A CV might be a helpful tool in the recruitment process to someone from the same field. But if I were, say, a lawyer or a doctor, showing my CV to a client or a patient wouldn't actually tell them whether I was a good lawyer or a doctor.

Nothing to be ashamed of Bessie. But why do you want to see the teachers' CVs? Are you in a position to determine whether a teacher is good based just on a CV? Should the school do away with interviews and lesson observations as part of interview process since a teacher's ability to teach can be determined by the content of their CV?