what the most hilarious and groundless parental complaint you've ever fielded?

Love that cheerfulyank

Parent of sporty boy in rugby playing high school wrote a letter to complain that her son's rugby kit kept getting muddy in PE lessons.

Pta complained because teachers were not 'showing enough commitment to the school'. They were unable to get enough of us willing to have custard pies thrown in our faces at a saturday morning school fete!

Had a dad once who collected his child from school one day a week, he was always late (about 10mins) and it was the day we had staff meeting straight after school. By the time he arrived TA and I would have our handbags on ready to shoot straight off to staff meeting. I had spoken to him several times about the importance of being on time. One day he turned up late as usual and proceeded to have a go at us for making him feel bad about being late. Apparently we were so privileged to be allowed to work with children that time should be of no importance, he did not judge time when it came to his children, instead he concentrated on the experiences they shared, not how long they lasted and we should do the same. My TA piped up if time was of no importance, how come he was never early!

Marking place to ensure my kids teachers aren't on here

to all teachers...you really are my heroes. :)

I love this guy...you might too. :)

Oh these are just brilliant!!

These are brilliant. I've not taught for a decade now, but I will always remember the parent who called up to complain that we'd scheduled Parents evening on a night when Manchester United were playing, as we couldn't expect people to turn up if we did.

Had a parent kick up a fuss once as we didn't supervise the Reception children when washing their hands after trips to the toilet, she was concerned about spread of germs. I politely pointed out that we didn't have enough staff for that, but if she wanted to she could arrange a rota of parents to man the sinks 9-3.30. She never did get back to me about that one!
Another time, not really a complaint, a group of parents at PTA meeting thought it would be a good idea if teachers CVs were circulated to parents- University attended, degree studied, previous experience. Apparently it would help parents get to know teachers, fostering a greater teacher/parent relationship. Head teacher politely told them what they could do with that idea.

Went out in the snow to round up the children of parents who hadn't noticed the staff member holding the door open to let children straight in.

One dad complained that I should have come out to tell him. Slightly surreal as wasn't I doing just that at that very moment?

Can you stop my daughter playing football at playtime?
No.

Told child N that he really should have his school uniform on, as he had not worn it for nearly 2 weeks. He told me it was 'in the wash'. I told him I could always find something for him the next day from lost property....

Next day whilst doing before school gate duty N's mum stomped up to me. Oh good, thought I, she is about to apologise for the lack of school uniform for the past fortnight. No, she just started yelling at me about how dare I even suggest to put her son in second hand lost property clothes!! She went on and on about it. In the end I had to go and teach my class. She was still fuming so I directed her to the Head's office. Next day N was in school uniform .

But not anywhere near as good as some of these

Complaint that I had lost a child's jumper and why had I not smelt it to find it because it didn't have a name in...apparently it smelt of him and I should know this and why was I not able to do this already?! Same parent complained her child was having to share a coat hook for the day until his was repaired...why could I not fix it myself? It was a stupid thing I had dared ask her child to do for the day in her opinion!

Oops am not a teacher. Am I allowed in here?!

These are fab. Keep em coming!

finally notices big words saying The Staffroom

Sorry I realise that wasn't in school.. But seemed relevant...

I used to work at an opticians where a 4yo girl once said, when describing how her new glasses felt, that they felt a bit too round.. Her Dad was very annoyed that I couldn't give him a reason for why they would feel too round and asked for a second opinion AND he was a doctor.

Parent complained that a teacher (not me) had been seen smoking a cigarette at nine o'clock on a Saturday night in a town 20 miles from the school and this was setting a bad example.

Haha Bamboostalks - I went to a school where that was an option! Otherwise I think it's really worrying that our future population is being raised by nutjobs!!!!

Also parent having deliveries directed to school as he knew we were always in. Became incensed when he was told it wasn't possible. Complained to LA.

Parent wanted child to sit only at lunch table where children were not consuming meat.

Gardasil? That's what it is here. :)