What's the most barking thing you've witnessed at a mum's group?

Just an aside for anyone who has yet to venture into the toddler/baby group and is now thoroughly put off - I went every week for six years and never witnessed any nuttery! And we got to sit on comfy cushions on the floor and drink piping hot PROPER coffee, served by lovely pensioners who were always amused by the queue of mums eager for the first pot to finish brewing. Everyone was sensible, everyone was lovely. Going to that group kept me sane - my friend and I used to buy naice "grown ups only" cakes from the bakery on the way ". Happy days!

Our playgroup used to visit a farm every year at lambing time. One of the parents was a rather odd French woman. There was the usual jokes between the mothers about giving birth. The French woman took umbrage because we didn't take birth sufficiently seriously and were not worthy people and as a result withdrew her child from the playgroup.
We were all delighted as her DS used to hit other children/steal their toys and was disliked by all.

As a nanny I too have been ignored by the yummy mummy types when they found out I was a nanny.

When I went as a mum I always made a special effort to talk to the nannies and tried to make them feel welcome.

One group that I helped to run had a mum that was always doing course work and so ignored her son the whole time. He was truly awful and after biting several babies, we had to ask the mum to not come any more.

Skittles going down had me laughing so much I couldn't tell my dd why I was laughing (I know, I'm mean!)

How weird Red! Perhaps they think you're like Supernanny and about to drill them on parenting techniques

There was a mum who used to come to our group with 2 DC, sometimes the childminder would come with them too and nobody batted an eyelid, just as friendly to either.

I did quite often wonder if the CM was a secret MNer though as she was always dressed head to toe in Boden

Loving this thread. It's made me think I should have gone to baby groups. Might start with the new one when he arrives! :o

most of the mums, cms, nannies I meet are lovely and will have a little chat at playgroup, ballet, the swings etc. I guess that's why I remember the bad ones!

frustrated I'm glad my not beating the kids made you smile, they seem to appreciate it too!

.. Playgroup feeding it yoghurt. Yoghurt at the top of the slide never mind the queue of kids behind
Quick run more yoghurt at the bottom of the slide etc etc.

Love this thread-

Lots of bizarre ones.

One woman used to chase her child around a really big church

Weird isnt it? As a new mum I palled up with an experienced nanny she saved my sanity - she was a total expert (but in such a low key kind thoughtful way) whereas I knew nothing about baby care. Good company too and as she wasnt another frazzled new mother did really interesting stuff in the evenings so I could live vicariously

(I don't, it's frowned upon)

red that comment has made me . it's been a long day
I dont understand the nanny/parent not friendly to each other thing.

I've had the nanny thing in reverse at the park. Getting talking to a few women and they are all nannies. Tell them your the parent and they are not nasty as such just completely disinterested in talking to you.

I'm a nanny, and more than once I've had parents ignore me or suddenly turn 'cold' when they find out. The worst one was at a huge playgroup near me, I had a 3 year old, 2 year old and baby 7m with me. The older two girls were just having a nice little tea party type affair- toddler sitting on a chair, older sister bringing tea cups etc and giving them to her. Lovely.

A mum comes up to me and starts with the usual how old are they, how old is the baby etc. Start chatting as you do when she says they are playing nicely, compliments to you. So I said thanks, I'm their nanny, had them since the eldest was 8m etc. She looks at me like I just revealed I beat them regularly to maintain order or something (I don't, it's frowned upon) and just gets up and walks off. Just the look on her face! Like I drop-kicked her puppy.

I stopped going to a group in a church for the same reason- My boss went, loved it, so I started too. All the people were lovely and welcoming til one recognised my 12m charge and loudly said 'oh isn't that xxx? You must be (boss) new nanny'. No more warmth! No one spoke to me again.

Oh god, I've just remembered the time I was on a packed train with DS in his buggy, even though he was far too big for it - there weren't any seats. A dad got out his iPhone and started showing his DC pictures on it and loudly explaining about the children in AFRICA and how they went to school as well but didn't have any of the resources that his DC had. I get that he was trying to show them that they should be grateful for what they have but why do it in the corridor of a packed train?

Also the soft play one reminded me of competitive skipping dads, often the younger ones, but they always get really enthusiastic about playing with the DC at the park or wherever and you're right - they always appear at soft play! They can never climb awkwardly through a hole designed for a nine year old, they have to hop skip or jump through, on, or over everything possible just to show how involved and rad they are, yeah.

Although I must admit I think DP might be one of them - he's always swinging off trees etc - except when he does it I think "sexy" and when another dad does it I think "poser"

CelineMcBean - that singing mum sounds worse then a Miranda character!

Daley-Mirror. AWESOME.

I wish our local group was like this. Only has 5 mums :)

I'm feeling very disappointed that there is none of this crazy at either group my DD goes to.

I think I must live I a real backwater!
Please put this in classics MNHQ,

dad proudly announcing his newborn son, London-Star.

Was the next baby DD called Daley-Mirror?

CelineMcBean I am weeping at passive-aggressive singing woman.

Panpipe elfe, tortoise boy, the tit profferer and the table sperminators are just

This fred has totally monopolised my day. Laughing at the loonies is the most fun ever but yes- I'm a bad person!

Turtle boy, extreme breastfeeding, naked panpipe elf. Oh lord I can't stop laughing!!!

I'd quite like a friend like Burkha lady to mix things up a bit, keep me on my toes. You'd always be waiting for a clown or a uniformed maintenance man to sidle up to you and go 'hey - it's me!'

Groups like these are ten a fecking penny round my way. I hate them. But also, love them. I frequent three run by batshit insane yet hilarious women. I think I go for the craic rather than the DC's development or whatever bollocks it is.

Oooooh lovely!
I assure you I shall come over all tiger mother should anyone so much as look at them rapunzel :)
But, seriously, where are these groups?
I feel like I haven't lived!
Can't wait to show dh this thread...ds2 keeps aski me what I am laughing at :)

Badvoc, I have 1 x DS (3.2) and 1 x DD (18mo). You can borrow them! For as long as you like!