What's the most barking thing you've witnessed at a mum's group?

RichMan, care to elaborate on the placental thingymabob?!?

ROAR at Donald Duck Santa

We met with a couple who had a baby a couple of weeks before us. I arrived to the restaurant with my baby in a buggy, she was carrying her baby in some sort if scarf...

Then he opened her mouth and started to tell me off as it was totally and most unatural to carry a baby in a pushchair, that I will damage my bonding with him, couldn't I see that no other animal in the planet carry their offspring in an artifact???

Needless to say we never met with them again...

There was a Steiner group where you all had to give thanks to the food goddess before you could eat your home made rolls.

Well the talk on "homeopathic placental encapsulation" sticks in my mind, but the mums have been quite sane

I once went to a Christmas party for adults (residents association, so a few kids, but mainly adults) where Santa visited. Only the shop had run out of Santa outfits, so he was dressed as Donald Duck instead. With a sack of presents.

I love:
Spade boy
Tortoise boy
The baby who was too embarrassed to cry and
The girl who was expressing the sadness if her previous life through her music

amazing I want the baby grow too; actually maybe an adult sized singlet for myself- no, one for each family member and we can all match!

Mine would be the children's Playgroup Christmas party. All children were given a present and someone's (now ex) DH had been volunteered to dress up as Santa to give them out? sounds lovely? this DH though was quite a "shady" sort of person. He arrived in the costume, with a mate in tow. I'm sure he was on something too. He did not look like Santa as he was too skinny, the suit did not even pad him out and he just looked wrong. The kids were all a bit mine didn't want to get their presents from scary Santa but to be fair they don't really like going to see Santa anyway

These stories are so funny, I feel I've missed out as all baby groups & toddlers I've went to have been full of normal-ish mums & dads. (eeek hope I wasn't the bonkers one?)

my shopping list:

• panpipe charm for necklace
• pocket mirror for fanny parties
• travel pool thermostat
• kids' t-shirts with "Indian Squawk" and "Invisible Spade" logos
• babygrow with "I don't cry - too embarrassing" logo
• memory box for cakes and biscuit
• comedy BBQ apron with big boobs and the slogan " It's a great calmer...suckle on mummy"

as it happens I already have a black tortoise keyfob...

I was once asked to leave a baby group with my 10 month old as he was the only one walking, the other babies were rolling or crawling, and it wasn't fair on the other babies him being there. I'd been going since he was 3 months as well, he was also the only boy amongst a pool of girls all called Mabel, Ruby and Charlotte.

The group was from birth to 12 months.

my groups are no fun admittedly. small imaginary spades are priceless!

pictish were you in Scottish Youth Theatre 1988??????

I've just remembered another one.

When dd was about 2 she was playing at the other end of the hall to me at the toddler group I went to. I heard her scream and when I looked up I saw a little boy about 1.5 with his teeth sunk into her arm.

By the time I got to them he was still attached to her and I had to shout stop to get him off. Dd was bleeding and starting to swell so I went to get first aid.

My friend went to the mum and told her what had happened. Her response was to square up to my friend and say
"Well what do you want me to do about it?!"

Yes fine- bronchiolitis Mach 3. Thanks for asking!!

Hope everything's okay peachypips

This thread has inspired me to join up to my local group. I hope I have a n eventful time :)

I just had one happen to me just now!!!! Although not at a playgroup so maybe not allowed- just took DS2 (he's 2.4) to A&E and it was rammed. We were sat very close to a lady and her friend.
They were talking very loudly about various inappropriate things. DS2 was snuggled in falling asleep as it was way past bedtime. The lady glanced at him, did a double take, then started singing loudly about ten cm from DS's face in a kind of falsetto operatic style 'lullaby baby..tra la laaaaa'. When she finished she turned to her friend and said 'I used to be in the front row of the choir you know.'

I was asked "ohmaigawsh, what did the hospital SAY?" when I was breathlessly recouting that morning's horror when I accidentally let the toddler eat a dog poo.

Ehm, yes, lady...."help, I've let my son eat crap" "well, that's not really a matter for A+E, 5 fruit and veg, not too much juice..." "no, no, you don't understand I've let him eat a jobbie!"

Nope, humiliated enough as it is, thanks for your suggestion, Oh beautifully co-ordinated and quaffed one.

The giant, robotic, black tortoise story had my crying with laughter. Great one.

Nothing to contribute unfortunately.

panpipes and the invisisble spade

excellent, funniest thread I've seen in ages

don't know what category this mum is, but when DS4 was born we had the following conversation

mum: so you had your baby then?
me: yes
mum: and what did you have?
me : another boy! (proudly grinning..)
mum: oh what a shame, a girl would have been nice!

cue me gasping for air.....

I spoke to a parent at toddlers, because her child was snatching, hitting, pushing, etc, etc and she said, "I've been told to ignore it". I asked if it was OK if I told him "no", but apparently that wasn't acceptable either. I spent the rest of the morning trying to place myself between him and my children, to protect them!