What's the most barking thing you've witnessed at a mum's group?

bollocks iphone,

pointed out I was a volunteer.
shouting Mum says "well she gets child benefit and I pay a higher rate of tax so I AM PAYING HER BENEFIT and she should give something back".

She was a bit of an atrocious cunt.

I think I used to be onetiredmummy's batty mum

I have now read so much MN that I'm almost ashamed when DS shouts things like "T.E.S.C.O spells SHOPS doesn't it mummy?"! he's three I should be proud FFS!

There's a dad that brings his brat son to a playgroup I go to. The older brother used to go as well. Both boys would monopolise the most popular toys like the Cosy Coupe and the dad would never ever suggest they let anyone else have a turn. I would try to distract DS who was desperate to have a go in it and say loudly, "maybe you'll get a turn later when x has had his" but the dad never took the hint. Eventually I just asked the dad if he could get x out and he looked at me as though I was crazy, "but he's playing with it", "yes, but he has had it for 20 mins and DS would like a turn", Dad refused saying there'd be ructions. Eventually when x got out briefly I grabbed DS and shoved him in then had to practically stand guard over him for his 5 min turn while this kid did everything including pulling DS's hair to try and get him out of the car. I told him not to, that it was DS's turn now and inevitably he ran crying to his dad, who just scooped him up and cuddled him. There were other incidents with other kids and the dad NEVER did a thing.

I used to volunatrily run a baby group, most parents/carers were lovely, but one week... we'd been closed the previous week because my DS was ill and I had no other volunteers to take over. I called
up the place it was held, asked them to put a notice
on the door. Next week back, all going well, everyone asking after DS when one woman starts properly shouting at me "How DARE I cancel last weeks group with no notice!!!" I was taken aback, and a friend pointed out I was a v

Wow... aren't people strange.

I was once at the local village toddler group with a friend and there was a mum there who was... well, i believe the term is 'loud parenting'. You know, lovely, but really seemed to want everyone else to want to see how good a parent she was.

Anyway, her child tripped on the edge of a crash mat and fell onto it. The child (about 2) looked a bit shocked, but was ok, but this mum swooped down, picked her child up and made a huge fuss. She then opened a bag which i can only describe as a sizeable homeopathic pharmacy and shoved about 3 different sugar pills into the child's mouth.

Friend and i had a bit of a giggle about it when we got into the car afterwards!

LadyM...if this was in SE London, then that was my DS!!!!!!

I've only been to sane groups

But once there was a meeting of the parish council or something in one of the rooms in the church building we used. The toddlers used two rooms and had the run of the corridor between them, it was safe as there was nowhere they could go. The council people got a bit warm and propped the fire door wide open and one little boy was brought back by a passer by having wandered down to the main road His mum was in the front room, dad in the back and each thought he was with the other. The people who opened the door daw nothing wrong in it

My award goes to a mum who used to take her baby to a group I took DD to - dd now 7 so some time ago

She turned up with a mat which she proceeded to spread on the floor before giving her baby some toys which she wiped over with anti bacterial wipes first. When someone came in and innocently popped their baby down next to hers she stormed over and said "do you mind, that's my mat for my baby and I washed it specially for her so please can you keep your baby off it"

I did ask her if baby had an immune deficiency or another problem but she said no she just didn't like other peoples germs.

(Wonder how baby got on when she went to school and got exposed to a whole school full of germs)

Wips they'll be childminders, they always do that sort of thing round here too. Winds me up something rotten!

I once saw a toddler drinking milk from a sippy cup. Realised a couple of seconds later that the cup belonged to another toddler, and the milk was breastmilk

With my first baby at a young mums baby massage class my dc decides that, at about 11-12 weeks of age in front of a large group of other mums, this would be a good place to roll over for the first time. Shocked me a bit but one of the other mums stood up, and pointed at us while ranting at the hv 'she's making her baby do that to show the rest of us up make it stop it' luckily the hv caught my bemused face and said the spiel about all babies being different giving me a get out and not needing to make a witty come back.

That woman was odd though. She turned up feeding her baby a bottle and 40mins later at the end of the class shed have another bottle fixed in his mouth whether the poor kid wanted one or not.

Maybe you had to be there, but Once a mum shoved her pfbs drawing in front of another child's face "as inspiration"

I was and nearly crying from trying not to laugh.

foreversunny - I was just terribly British and said things like: 'well I never.' and 'goodness me' and 'how interesting'....while backing slowly out of the room.

Not mental but annoying, two mums (or possibly childminders) who talked all the way through a rhymetime session, every week. Drove me mad, I know we don't want to be singing wind the feckin bobbin, but the librarian women who ran it were really nice and put loads of effort in and all they could do was talk. Grrrr.

at that BF mum Unexpected. I hope she was suitably mortified.

Verbatim, I swear:

Breastfeeding mum: Oh, you've chosen to formula feed, how sad for your baby.

Formula feeding mum: I had no choice, I can't breastfeed.

BF mum: Everyone can breastfeed.

FF mum: No, not everyone can, I can't.

BF mum: Don't make excuses for your own selfishness, I pity your child.

FF mum: Oh just Fuck the Fuck off (storms off in huge tears).

Someone then informs BF mum that FF mum had had a double mastectomy.

'It was dealt with well within the group but then sparked lots of conversations about how people would "bite him back but you can't do that here, they watch you"'

and Poor kids.

'Not judging the smacking, but would you do it at an NCT coffee morning?'

I judge the smacking very much, NCT or anywhere else.

My colleague told me the other day that she was chatting with parents of a tiny baby who was born 2 months premature 3 months ago, so her adjusted age is about 1 month. The parents were saying that she is starting to pull herself up on furniture and that she can walk herself along when you hold her by the arms . Apparently their exact words were 'she'll definitely be walking soon' and it's all good because her dad 'walked when he was 4 months old'. The baby is one month old. Barking? Ignorant? Terrifying? Or all three?

I read campers post and thought low immune system too.

Luckily I was on the ball enough to tell her that DD had been too busy learning Latin to think about toilet training

:o that is hilarious!!

Haha richardsimmons your response was excellent!

The room just went silent

My antenatal/baby group meets at a local sensory place, usually just the mums. On one occasion one of the babies dads came too.

The babies were at an exploring age, touch each others faces, hands etc.

My DD crawled over to another baby, and stroked her face. This dad then jumped in, pulled her hand away and barked, commando style. "We don't touch faces!!!!!!!!" Right in DD2s face. She was six months old!!!

The room just went

Most mental thing was actually rather dangerous.

One mum thought it would be fine to get a jug of boiling water to warm her babies bottle. Which woul have been fine except she left it on the floor in the middle of the babies crawling area!!!

My ds (3yo) wandered over to see the babies and of course put his hand in it! I turned round to his shout (had been painting with dd) and quickly worked out what had happened and ran his hand under the tap for ages- despite his howls at it being cold!

I was livid but by the time I had sorted ds the session was almost over and she had left.

Luckily ds was fine but it could have been so much worse if a crawling baby had tipped it on their face!

I'll never forget being at an NCT coffee morning when one of the mums grabbed her daughter and gave her a hugh smack on the bum! Of all places! Not judging the smacking, but would you do it at an NCT coffee morning?

We still talk about her now and DC are 11!

I used to attend a sure start playgroup in a deprived area, was very, er, eventful. The best thing was when one of the mums came in shouting and swearing at another mum for stealing her boyfriend (who was also the father of kids at the group )

Then there were the hangers-on who stayed for the company after their children were of school age and one whose children got taken into care but she still continued to come to the group and moan about the "bloody social" and how they wouldn't let her have enough access to her DC and how she'd be getting them back soon - FFS she threw her DD down the stairs and beat her with the metal part of a hoover :( There were a lot of arguments between the group members because the woman with school-aged DC was asked to stop coming but the woman whose kids were in care wasn't.

A couple of horrible ones - the mum who let her child run riot and terrorise all of the other children to massive cat's bum faces from all the other mums, she then obviously feels she ought to be seen doing something so starts slapping him really hard on his hands The worst thing was that the kid didn't even react, like he was used to it :( And then another time when a (different) child bit another one while his mum had popped out for a cigarette, that was horrifying. It was dealt with well within the group but then sparked lots of conversations about how people would "bite him back but you can't do that here, they watch you" :(

Aside from the incidents though it was a real lifeline for me at one time and very supportive.

That's brilliant Nancy66! What on earth was your response?!

Years ago, a mum and her son had been offered an unexpected lift home by another parent.

Her son had just turned 4 years old. She acquired a car seat which happened to be a group 1 baby car seat (the type you pick up and carry). She then went on to try and strap her 4 year old into the baby car seat.

Well as you can imagine, he wasn't willing to say the least. She eventually got him in, all arms and legs everywhere, only for him to roll the car seat over and attempt to walk with it on his back, while still being strapped into it. It was like watching some sort of giant, robotic, black tortoise.

She was a bizarre one.

We all pipped up and stepped in and he went home in suited sized car seat.