What's the most barking thing you've witnessed at a mum's group?

I think car seat tortoise and naked panpipe elf are going to go down in MN history as the things people say now to prove they're not a troll

washngo: what did you wear to travel home?

I am crying at Naked Panpipe Lady and Wipe the Cum Off the Table.

Ooh yes Iwillorder I took dd to baby massage and whilst all the well behaved babies were lying there being massaged nicely, my dd just rolled over and shoved anything in her mouth that she shouldn;t have. And cried whenever I attempted to massage her Oh well at least it was free!

I used to take ds to a baby swimming class when he was about 5 months old. The pool only had a really small walkway around the she to exit the building, so we used to change, then edge our way round the pool past the next class and out the door. One day I had worn flip flops with very smooth soles. On the way out after dressing , whilst carrying also fully dressed ds, I slipped. To avoid him being bumped on the side of the pool I sort of threw myself away from the edge, we did a sort of belly flop with a massive splash into the pool a metre away from the next class who all looked on in bewilderment as i held ds aloft to keep him out of the water. He didn't even cry, just stared at me as if to say "why would you do that you lunatic?". I was mortified.

eminemmerdale I didn't think you were being offensive at all.

Mine isn't funny like turtle boy or pan pipes (which made me laugh out loud) but there was one mum at messy play who like to tell everyone loudly she hated the "fucking foreigners" (ie polish women) at our group and that she had social services observing her. Then at the end of the session told her daughter to "get down the stairs before I fucking throw you down" which made me I was very embarrassed and didn't say anything but wish I had now.

Anyway! More funny stories please

I had to google panpipes as I didn't have a clue what it was :) I'm all clued in now.

Some if these ate hilarious but I feel so sorry for all the kids being swore at.

Also that poor kid who's hand was chewed by a goat. That must of been horrible!

Do you know what would be funnier?

If Panpipe Lady was Turtle Child's mother.

On a roll now, not strictly relevant, but I overheard a Mum say to her toddler, 'For fucks sake you look like a fucking spaz' I flinched and really wanted to talk to her because everything else apart from that was lovely. He was sitting up in a highchair, appropriately dressed, eating and drinking. Mums tone was kind and she was really engaging with him. I hope it was an off the cuff remark to make her friend laugh.

I took DD1 to baby massage, all other mums were serenely bf and massaging their DC. I could not get DD to bf, she hated the massage and screamed the whole time, and to top it all I managed to knock over the owners plant that she called her "money plant" and made an enormous mess.

I think I went to the wrong toddler groups!

When I took my son to our local baby group there was always one mum who left 10 mins early because the song time at the end "over stimulated" her baby.

I work in a children's centre in a deprived area, and haven't really come across any weirdness. I do remember the fire brigade being called one day because a child had got their head stuck in a toy washing machine in the home corner!

Kerala. That's shocking!

poppy the poor woman was obviously in shock, but the child needed to get to A&E. I had 3 dcs with me and no more space or carseats or I'd have taken her. It was really upsetting.

Not sure which is funnier. Panpipe Lady or Turtle Child.

no need to be sorry, you weren't being unkind at all,as far as I could see. just relating a story like everyone else on this thread

And one year two weeks before Halloween somebody made an announcement that there was to be No mention of Halloween and no Halloween activities or because the Vicar's wife wouldn't like it as it was a pagan festival. The playgroup wasn't even anything to do with the church and in a different building altogether. As if a whole lot of two year olds were going to turn into devil worshippers or something. Honestly some folk!!

Dd1 at 18 months went through a hitting stage. I hovered over her and warned the other mothers at this playgroup I used to go to. One said " if she hits my kid I'll f - Ing slap her". Nice. I never went back. No one spoke to me there which was fine as their main conversation topic was how best to commit benefit fraud. We moved out of the area (thank god)

This has had me crying with laughter .... thanks foreversunny

*Years ago, a mum and her son had been offered an unexpected lift home by another parent.

Her son had just turned 4 years old. She acquired a car seat which happened to be a group 1 baby car seat (the type you pick up and carry). She then went on to try and strap her 4 year old into the baby car seat.

Well as you can imagine, he wasn't willing to say the least. She eventually got him in, all arms and legs everywhere, only for him to roll the car seat over and attempt to walk with it on his back, while still being strapped into it. It was like watching some sort of giant, robotic, black tortoise.*

helyourself that's horrible! Was the mum arguing about risk assessments when the baby had a mangled hand?

I won't say anymore apart from this. In our society it's "ok" to take the piss out of the working classes. But not out of other vulnerable members of society.

I don't like it and I will always speak up. It's not their fault they're uneducated or speak in a certain way.

No offence meant *emin I can tell that....

Please, keep up with the funny stories!! Pretend I never happened

It wasn't meant to be unkind. At all. Just a moment that I found quite shocking. If it helps at all, I had a long and serious talk with the group leader at the end about how we could help the group in different ways and am going back again in a month or so to offer more help if i can :( Sorry :(

The mum who charged across the room shrieking:"oh my God, I have told you to stop doing that, will you please stop doing that!"

I expected to see her three year old son pushing/biting/kicking/mooning

But no, he had dressed up in a fairy outfit.

All the other mothers were like

Oh leave her alone MrsMushroom - I'm sure she is professional in her job, but she is allowed a sense of humour about it as well. Give over.