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Original poster

Given that most of us failed the on-line British Citizen test, let's make up our own questions about what it's like to be British?

184 replies

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne · 16/01/2013 16:50

original thread here

We need questions about British culture, class and manners, which would truly work out whether you knew the country. For example:

Which of these expressions would only be used by someone from the lower middle class:

  • Bog
  • Loo
  • Toilet
  • Lavatory
  • Shitter?

List these supermarkets in order of naiceness.

Iceland
Budgens
Aldi
Sainsbury's
Waitrose

What is a snakebite (tick all that apply)?

  • A bite from a snake.
  • A mixture of cider and lager
  • A flaming from a nest of vipers
OP posts:
Rosa · 16/01/2013 22:31

Quotes of this thread are bound to end up in a paper or mentioned on the radio or something its brill and I expect to take the test and hopefully pass this time....

ElectricSheep · 16/01/2013 22:28

Which sisters each wrote a masterpiece of English literature?

a) The Nolan Sisters?
b) The Scissor Sisters?
c) The Cheeky Girls?
d) The Three Degrees?
e) The Bronte sisters?

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 16/01/2013 22:21

List the possible expletives you might hear in the following transport situations:-
a) Presenting a bus driver with a £20 for a £2.30 fare
b) Standing on the wrong side of a tube escalator

If a person makes eye contact and smiles at you in the street are they:-
a)drunk
b)friendly
c) not British

select the answer which is probably wrong.

If you are in a conversation with a British person who is being critical of the Government / Royal Family / Britain in general if you agree with them will they:-

a)appreciate you agreeing with their criticisms
b)unexpectedly turn on you like a cornered wildcat and tell you to sod off if you don't like it here

JustAHolyFool · 16/01/2013 21:05

Which of these is it acceptable to complain about while in a queue?

  1. the weather
  2. how long you've been waiting
  3. your boss
  4. the strange odour that has been emanating from your genitalia for the past week
  5. bloody johnny forrinner coming over here, taking our jobs
kotinka · 16/01/2013 20:44

This reply has been deleted

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kotinka · 16/01/2013 20:43

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InMySpareTime · 16/01/2013 20:36

Which way do you pass the port?

kim147 · 16/01/2013 20:34

This reply has been deleted

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kim147 · 16/01/2013 20:33

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DeafLeopard · 16/01/2013 20:30

There is a queue of people, someone pushes passed to the front, what happens next?

a Someone challenges queue jumper
b No-one challenges queue jumper, but everyone in queue exchanges tuts and eye rolls
c What is a queue?

Original poster
MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne · 16/01/2013 20:29

Don't forget Leicester.

OP posts:
kim147 · 16/01/2013 20:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DeafLeopard · 16/01/2013 20:26

Jaffa cake:

cake or biscuit?

DeafLeopard · 16/01/2013 20:26

Talkin

I'll add

Loughborough
Bicester

to your list

kim147 · 16/01/2013 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsApplepants · 16/01/2013 20:20

Explain the correct use of the apostrophe in the English language.

What is 'British Bulldogs?'

Marmalade is a
A. Conserve
B. Preserve
C. Jam
D. All of the above

TalkinPeace2 · 16/01/2013 20:13

PS I passed the test :-)
Knowing the six places to get an NI number - which did not include my method : it arrived in the post on my 16th birthday - was my fave

bureni · 16/01/2013 20:12

What way do you hang your union flag?

A/ On its side
b/ Upside down
c/ The correct way up

TalkinPeace2 · 16/01/2013 20:12

Magadlen is pronounced .... ?
Cholmondley ditto
Gloucester ditto
bonus question
Lympne ?

And even though nobody in your family ever when there, which team is dark blue?

Original poster
MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne · 16/01/2013 20:01

Ooooh. Discussion of the Day, no less.

OP posts:
Original poster
MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne · 16/01/2013 20:00

You have a child genius. Do you

a) Tell everyone

b) Tell nobody

c) Steer the conversation around to their area of expertise at every opportunity, hoping that someone will ask you whether little Johnny is any good at maths/english/science, etc.

OP posts:
kim147 · 16/01/2013 20:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nancy66 · 16/01/2013 19:58

Wheelie bins. Good or bad?

your answer should be no less than 5,000 words.

littlemisssunny · 16/01/2013 19:57

You go to the sales and when you get thee a lot of people are waiting,

Do you

A) queue
B) queue and complain about the weather
C) just walk up and go straight in?

TrucksAndDinosaurs · 16/01/2013 19:56

Oh FFS,hoicking bosom, fuck you iPad.