Given that most of us failed the on-line British Citizen test, let's make up our own questions about what it's like to be British?

I passed the online test thing.

amazing
You've passed

Would you like a ?

I've never watched The A Team, and I am as English as it's possible to be. But I do sometimes say that I love it when a plan comes together.

cheers!

ok, let me try

Q: if you unexpectedly (oh dear me!) turn up at anyone's house how can you tell whether they are happy for you to stay for a bit or wish you were never born?

A: the clue is - - - - - - whether they ask you if you want a cup of tea!

(do I pass?)

I swore allegiance to the Queen to become a British citizen (now have double citizenship)

does that make me more British or less?

also I'm regularly being told that my spelling is outstanding and my grammar is hardly ever incorrect. (now that I've said that, I'm bound to make a mistake or too)

I had to learn the language from "scratch", but I wasn't forced to do that, it was my choice.

I'm not a foreigner anymore, but I don't fit into any of the classes either....

will I be ever considered British? probably not, because I did not grow up watching the A-team....

LineRunner

Which is correct:

a) Tomato sauce
b) Tomato ketchup
c) Red sauce

What is the correct condiment for a bacon sandwich?
tomato ketchup
brown sauce
barbecue sauce
none of the above

Empty bear cans?

What is the appropriately British response to a sudden, unexpected heatwave?

a) Venture out to enjoy the sun in a measured fashion after having taken precautions to protect yourself from the effects of dangerous UVA/UVB rays, either by dressing appropriately or using sun protection cream.

b) Stay inside in front of the television - the sun's not going away so why the rush?

c) Immediately rush out into the mid-day sun wearing: (women) strappy tops and (men) shirtless and with trainers without socks, without any skin protection whatsoever. Colonize the nearest available patch of open ground to where you are, along with your family, friends or colleagues, litter it with empty bear cans, sandwich and salad cartons. Spend as long as possible in this area. Go home to realize you are suffering from third-degree burns from sun exposure before spending the next week looking like a boiled lobster and feeling very sorry for yourself.

talking peace
That would be north of the river.

Is the curent snow fall in London:

a)light
b)heavy
c)blizzard
d)a cause for a national panic

e) all of the above (but not necessarily in that order)

Where does "The North" start
a) Gretna Green
b) Watford Gap
c) Birmingham
d) Primrose Hill

Where does "The West Country" Start
a) Chiswick
b) Chipping Norton
c) Stonehenge on the A303
d) Gordano Services

(that was a mistake btw)

and castelnau

Bonus point for Ruby!

Poppwearer
Trick Question.

Which of the following belong in a correctly-made glass of Pimm's and lemonade?

• Pimm's
• Lemonade
• strawberries
• cucumber
• lemon
• lime
• random fruit from your fridge if you haven't got anything else
• ice

Borage obv.

The London 2012 Olympic Games were remarkable because:

A) it was the first time any city had hosted the Games three times
B) it was the first time anyone in recorded history spoke to anyone else on the Tube*
C) it was the first time a building project in the UK had been completed on time since 1950*
D) it was the first time since 1981 that Princess Diana was not on the front page of the Daily Express*
E) all of the above

*probably

Explain the cultural significance of Katie Price in no more than 20 words using words of no more than 2 syllables.

Which of the following belong in a correctly-made glass of Pimm's and lemonade?

• Pimm's
• Lemonade
• strawberries
• cucumber
• lemon
• lime
• random fruit from your fridge if you haven't got anything else
• ice

(If you answered "not a clue" to the above question, please immediately volunteer to run the bar at your local village fete.)

Is the current market price at a village fete for a glass of Pimm's:
A) £20
B) £25
C) £50
D) £100
E) whatever highly-inflated price the village fete committee wish to charge

You walk along the pavement when another person approaches going the other direction. That person makes eye contact with you.

How do you react?
a. You look away quickly
b. You smile and say 'Good morning'
c. You quicken your pace to get away from that weirdo

I can answer most of these - it's only taken 20 years in this country . I am going to have to chech the real test out, aren't I...

Britain is due 2cm of show by tomorrow. do you-

a) realise you only go shopping one a week anyway so possibly not getting to your local shop for 2 days at the most is not the end of the world

b) do your weekly shop as usual and moan along with other sane shoppers at the idiocy of panic buyers

c) go to your nearest shop and purchase, 20 loaves of bread 16 pints of milk, 40 tins of scotch broth soup and 8 tins of spam.

When is it acceptable to panic over the snow forecast and start cancelling trains?
a) at 1 inch forecast?
b) at 1 foot forecast?
c) at the simple mention of the word snow?

Is it acceptable to have chips with:
Fish
Sausages
Lasagne
Curry
Maccaroni cheese
All of the above
?