Omg such anality from pil. Come and share your anal behaviour stories (lighthearted)

My dad has been bullied trained into the same ways. They take electronic scales with them to holiday cottages so that they can measure out precisely the right amount of oats for porridge each morning. You are not permitted to have anything else because the bread has already been allocated to another meal.

Once my dad was weighing out the oats for 6 of us and I took a spoonful out to mix into baby ds's yogurt. He went nuts because I had ruined the measurements.

A holiday picnic on the beach comprises one round of no-butter brown bread and peanut butter sandwiches and an apple each. That was my only holiday last year.

You obviously don't work in Aldi galifrey! Otherwise you would have just hurtled everything at them till only their heads were visible above the pile! :o

My PIL are OBSESSED with their weight. Every conversation will, inevitably, turn to their weight and their various diets, and/or the weight of their daughter and how much she has gained/lost. Im sure that I am a big dissappointmnet to them!

They are both physically active and secret chocoholics. They go on a massive diet in November so they can pig out at Christmas. We usually visit on Boxing Day and its like receiving a food parcel from Fortnums when we leave - all the left over biccies, cheese, cold meat, pickles, olives....(yum)

My FIL is the worlds most fussy eater...strictly meat and potato, no poultry, no spice, no starch other than spuds and bread, no cheese, onions, tomato, garlic, mushrooms.

I once cut the chips the "wrong" way - I had cut enough for 7 people - he repeeled a whole new batch of spuds in order to cut them the RIGHT way. Before cooking in beef dripping [boak].

Actually I think I had some of these come through my checkout at Asda over christmas, mainly older people that would have a system of packing their shopping into different bags, freezer, fridge, kitchen cupboard etc, then the husband would be putting things into the wrong bag which would be taken back out again by the wife. One couple was so slow I had to stop scanning things as there was no room on the end of the checkout!!

My stepmother does the food planning thing. If she is making a roast dinner for four she will go and buy four potatoes. If we are having cheese sandwiches she will go and ask at the cheese counter for four slices of cheese. There will not be any variation or surplus or, you know, flexibility. Once when on holiday with her I saw her buy the four potatoes and I then just had to make an excuse to nip to the post office "for some stamps" because I knew they sold sweets in there. I bought four double deckers to hide in my suitcase . She basically made me become a compulsive eater for a week just by being so weird.

This thread has made me a bit teary thinking of my late grandparents.

They were sticklers for routine - breakfast at 9, coffee and biscuits at 11 (with a pinch of salt because grandad said it improved the flavour), lunch at 1 etc etc. For their entire retirement together. You could set your clock by what they were doing.

My DM and DSF eat at 5.30 on the dot every evening. I briefly moved back home with them between houses, and dad called me at work to tell me off for not being home for tea . I was 26 and married.

They live in Spain these days. When we go out to eat we can occasionally persuade them to eat as late as 8pm, which is a good 2 hours earlier than everyone in the area. We are often the only people in the restaurant.

Dad invariably orders spaghetti bolognese. Because he doesn't like Spanish food very much...

My mum also insists on palming of random bits of food onto us.

A single sausage, 3 sprouts, a tiny piece of cheese and other stuff all of dubious vintage.
Never enough to do anything with, and quite often it would be stuff we don't even like

It has taken me years to get DH to understand it is easer to take it and then just bin it at home. He would try and have the we really don't want/need it conversation that would end up with her being quietly hurt and bewildered that someone wouldn't want her second-hand foodstuffs

Sparkling my pils are the opposite - instruction books are never read and probably thrown away. When they can't get something to work they will ask dh - who will have no idea because he is'nt familiar with it. The item is then declared useless and replaced...

Sparkling my pils are the opposite - instruction books are never read and probably thrown away. When they can't get something to work they will ask dh - who will have no idea because he is'nt familiar with it. The item is then declared useless and replaced...

Fluffy - she CRIES if people don't eat all their food. Really, properly cries?

Back from few days freezing to death at PILs and this thread had cheered me up so much. I had no idea there were so many of them out there with similar habits.
MIL has totally rigid routines and sellotapes notes all over the house stating HOW THINGS ARE DONE so there shall be no divergence. She also has this habit of never saying that she doesn't want to do something, instead she pronounces 'I don't think anyone wants to... insert activity of choice.
EG she walks into room where people are watching TV, announces 'Oh I don't think anyone wants to watch that' and turns off TV.
She is also very anti-alcohol and polices FIL (who isn't) mercilessly.

My mum whisks plates away to wash up while you are still eating.
She never eats pudding so while you are eating something lovely you feel guilty because she is being a martyr frantically washing up in the kitchen - she has perfectly good dishwasher but refuses to use it 'there is no need - I'm faster than that machine'

She likes everything to be planned, but then tries to make the plans even more complicated

Me: So, we'll meet at 2pm outside Debenhams
Mum: OK, oooh, unless I need to go to Boots - shall we meet at 2.15 outside Boots
Me: That's fine
Mum: On the other hand, Debenhams might be better, cos they might not have what I want in Boots
Me: Right, so 2.15 outside Debenhams
Mum: Ohh, but what if ... etc etc etc

This conversation can go on and on and on.
Ironically, wherever we decide to meet she'll be there 20 minutes early anyway.

recharge - I've just wet myself laughing. Someone could turn that into a sitcom

These are terribly familiar, not wasting anything is a theme! I was always driven mad by my lovely MIL who is OBSESSED with airing washing until its bone dry, I felt hounded by her all the time when she stayed or we were visiting.
Then we visited the village where she grew up and we saw her house and she described how damp it was and how her brother nearly died of bronchitis. I kind of got it then.

Same with my DF Fluffy, lots of faffing about for a roast lunch and mountains of washing up. There's always lots of trying to take the roasting tin out of a hot oven with a tea cloth rather than oven mitts
Use. The. Mitt

I didn't think there were people out there like my parents, but there's a whole thread! :)

My parents are so anal it's untrue! Eating a meal at their house take forever! Lunch is at 12.30 (?!) the veg is put on to boil at 12! We eat in silence, until my mom asks anyone want this potato? We all shake our heads, then it will be 'dad, potato? Sister, potato? Sisters boyfriend, potato? Venusstarr, potato? Cats, potato?' every flipping time!

We eventually finish the meal at around 2pm - why it takes this long I'll never know!! when everything is cleared from the table and everything is rinsed clean before loading the dishwasher! I genuinely thought they were the only ones who did this. We leave them to it. I used to help wash up but get so frustrated by the routine abs you cant deviate from the routine! So we are in the living room, then my mom will come in and ask us if we'd like a hot drink. Even if we don't want one, we have to go back to the dining room to sit with everyone while they drink. This is when cake is brought out, if you don't want cake you can have fruit but you must use a plate - again, they aren't the only ones who do this?! Why create mounds of washing up!

Everything with my parents takes so much longer than it should. They aren't the type of people where you can pop in for a coffee because it takes HOURS! Even if you say we can't stay long, 3 hours later, you're just heading out of the door, if you're lucky!

This thread has made me smile :)

My PIL (well mostly my MIL!)

Ice cream is served with all puddings, they dish the ice cream up in the kitchen in individual scoops into a bowl and then they serve the ice cream from that at the table. So it is usually melted by the time you get it!

She cries if you don't eat all of the food at the table, so we end up in this weird begging situation where she is trying to force you to eat some crumbs from the quiche.

They find cooking a roast meal really really hard. Lots of hissing about taking the beef out of the oven.

lemonmousse that made me

My DM puts at least two stamps on everything she sends to us, "just in case". Even if it is just a simple birthday card. I've tried pointing her at the dimensions page on the royal mail site for large letters but she still does it

When I would borrow my dad's car I would be handed a file with all relevant documents (just in case) and instructions on how to put on the lights/ indicators/ radio/ fan. Even if I was only using it for an hour. Everytime.

My grandparents were the best for routines.

Grandad would start the day by making tea at 6.15. I have no idea why they needed to get up so flipping early, as they had nothing to do all day.

All meals were at a set time - lunch 11.45, followed by a nap. They would set off for a drive or walk in the afternoon at seven minutes past 2. I know this because we used to live next door, and would wave at them as they went. Seven minutes past 2 every day.

Rest of the day followed the same sort of pattern, until bed at 9.45. My grandma would switch off whatever TV programme she was watching, even if it was due to finish at 10, because bedtime was 9.45.

Grandad is now in a home, he was happy this week as for the first time ever he was allowed to stay up until midnight on NYE!

I love this thread.

My parents are dead now, but I treasure the memories of all their daft little quirks & routines, & my parents could faff about with the best of them.

My Dad couldn't work his mobile. He'd managed to put the automatic lock after a few secs on, & by the time he'd squinted at it & dithered about which buttons to press, it would be locked again.

He threw it at me & told me "it was like something out of Star Trek". It was a Nokia 3310.

I am much more anal than my PILs. They do not have systems for anything. Nothing in the kitchen has "a place". Consequently you can never find anything. Meals are never planned - they wait until everyone is hungry and then go to the shop to get ingredients.

I love my DMIL but I am beyonnnnnd fed up of freezing my arse off in her house every time we visit. I wear two pairs of socks over tights and leggings, thermal vest, several tops and a woolly jumper. DH asks her can he turn on the gas fire she says no and throws a blanket at us. Her house, her rules and all that but I draw the line when it's New Year's Eve (ffs make an exception!!!!) and we now have a young baby who DMIL says is like Michelin baby... Helloooo if you turned the heating on I wouldn't have to layer all the clothes on her. She banks her winter fuel allowance (is not badly off at all... go figure!!). I've told DH that I have spent my last ever night there, most miserable NYE of my life. She thinks we're going to her for Christmas Eve next year I took one look at DH and the look said 'over my dead body'...

Oh and if I ask my DF what he's doing next week he wi tell me every thing he's doing every day up til then