Omg such anality from pil. Come and share your anal behaviour stories (lighthearted)

zapotek - so do you mean the rest of the family are welcome to get bacteria while you will be the healthy one looking after them if there's any Norovirus going round ?

Ah so I'm right it is gross- DP thinks I'm nuts.

I get the DC to use the 2nd towel and make sure they handwash regularly.

Fingers crossed we haven't come down with anything yet.

And yes I think I'm probably paranoid ( I'm not sure the towel is really that close to the loo to get affected- isn't it me anal or do you really think I'm being rational about this?)

When changing beds, the bottom sheet is taken off for washing and last week's top sheet becomes this week's bottom sheet

oooh, ER, my mum (born 1922) used to do that. (she used to sides-to-middle the worn ones too)

But that was when there were only flat sheets...

Almost had coffee coming down my nose with some of these observations.

I really do hope none of my sisters are seen as having such strange 'quirks' or preferences when they are hosts...

Some of these seem so familiar, from my dads overly details holiday itineraries and travel arrangements you're going to the Lake District which always sadly end with details of where I should find their wills, to the pils insistence on wearing slippers wherever they are and frugality with vegetables. Six people - bucket of meat etc but probably two carrots, eight sprouts and ten roast potatoes. I don't understand it, I think maybe to them veg are 'trimmings' not actual food. My parents who set the breakfast table the night before with the instant coffee measured into the mugs. My mum, who if one of the children has lost a cheap plastic toy at their house will insist on turning it upside down, emptying the bins, kids not bothered in the slightest and then will call me three hours later to say she's found it. Hmm there must be more. Oh the tv. Neither of the pils is deaf but the tv must been LOUD SO AS TO STIFLE ANY NORMAL CONVERSATION or indeed thinking.

NetworkGuy - my Grandma-in-law went on holiday recently, leaving Grandad-in-law at home. He is "man who cannot cook". She arranged a rota of friends to feed him daily. In his defence he reckons 90 is too late to start learning!

zapotek - so do you mean the rest of the family are welcome to get bacteria while you will be the healthy one looking after them if there's any Norovirus going round ?

Oh yes to weather forecast. My mum is also obsessed with the temperature. She doesn't like travelling in my car as it doesn't have a temperature gauge so she can't comment.

Sparklingbrook - duvet? What is this new-fangled bedding that you speak of. No, parents have bottom sheet, top sheet, various number of blankets and then a throw thing on top. When changing beds, the bottom sheet is taken off for washing and last week's top sheet becomes this week's bottom sheet.

I dont like children eating stuff ,especially bananas,away from the table,but then I dont have wipeable plastic/leather sofas .Don't like ornamental Tampon baskets in bathrooms either.DH and I each have our own remote for same TV. Quite disconcerting when a program skips from sport to Midsummer murders ...can take a while to clock on.We are very anal.

sparklingbrook yes that is the clip

Euphemia - "Thursday is his macaroni cheese day!"

OMG. Sorry but I cannot imagine what would happen if he had to go into hospital (heaven forbid) for a week! Similarly for HarkTheHattifattnerSing's FiL if MiL was in hospital for a week...

"stand looking pathetic with a piece of bread until MIL comes to spread some butter on it and miraculously turn it into a sarnie"

I'm going to be one of these anal people- I already am!

I have a 2 towel strategy at home.
One on the radiator in the bathroom for drying hands (there's no where else to hang it) However, I always have to use a second towel which I drape over a bannister outside the toilet. Reason being I once saw a film about spray leaping up several feet from the toilet during a flush, the radiator is next to the toilet, therefore, I always feel the most hygenic option is a towel outside the bathroom.

I love love love this thread, and recognise lots of it.

but it is a very strange companion piece to the "lax parenting of the 60s and 70s" one, isn't it? How can those crazy, drink-driving, chain-smoking, bar-fly hell-raisers have turned into these people?

My parents do the thing where tea must always be made properly in the "heated" pot. But there is a whole thing where you will be asked at the beginning of the process if you want some, and you say no, because you have forgotten how long it takes, and that it is always safer to say yes, as who knows by then. By the time the tea is ready (and has "drawn" properly) you might quite fancy a cup. But NO! You can't say that now! They have only made a small pot! There are exactly two cups of tea in the pot and if you have one, one of the parents can't. Which is what will happen, because you have forgotten how this all works, and will be muttered and moaned about just enough for you to notice, but too late.

DP really struggles with all this.

I have really enjoyed reading this thread because the behaviour that is only slightly more extreme that my parents', but is clearly ridiculous, has helped me to stop worrying about all the things I don't do that my mum does. I usually beat myself up a lot about being slatternly and prodigal, but this is helping.

While I'm laughing there are one or two on here that are making me wince because I fear DH and I could be slowly becoming guilty of them.

DH definately has a dishwasher laoding protocol and he does turn the mattress over when he changes the sheets.

Mind you, I take comfort in the fact that my mother believes we are beyond redemption because we use the tumble dryer in the winter (rather than playing the in-out-in-out game all day long) and if we don't like a food-stuff we just don't eat it.
Mum: I bought these melons but they aren't very nice - dry and sour
Me: Oh dear - shall I throw them out for you
Mum: horrified No, I thought you might want to take them (Why, you just said they were horrid?) but if you won't (injured voice) I'll have to eat them

I'm howling with laughter and desperatly trying to repress childhood memories at this.....(very old parents in their 80's now).....
saving crisp packets to reuse.....

this thread has got to be moved to classics

This thread has almost made me miss my Ex-IL's
When going away for a few days the fridge & freezer would be emptied , cleaned & switched off... all food they used to bring to me
usually half a bottle of salad cream and scrapings of low-fat margarine!

Ponders

I am so disorganised that I am taking some of these posts as aspirational.

MIL is always buying stuff for our house, as we 'didn't have one in so we must need it'

Latest items:

• huge wine glasses (a good point about PIL is they like to knock it back with the best of them)

• a brush thing for washing up when we have a plentiful supply of sponges & cloths
• a steamer (well she's promised to get one) as we gave away the last one she gave to us as we never used it. But she wants one here to use when she cooks.

Ah well, she does cook brilliantly and lots when she's here :)

I could go & run my engine for a while to charge my battery, Sparkling!

oh, wait...

MIL will bring me flowers (I'm allergic), and won't be happy (drink anything, eat anything, sit down) til I've grovelled to find a vase in the cupboard under the sink. Recently brought me sweet peas (very smelly), and I just thought 'sod it' and put them in a pint glass where they looked very nice.

Next time 'I didn't bring you flowers dear as it seemed to put you out'. I mean why would you say that? How could that not make someone feel uncomfortable?

For 17 years she's been saying 'do you have a teapot?' before she makes a cup of tea. Eventually I suggested she buy me one for Christmas. Big mistake. She got all enthusiastic, bought something totally to her taste (flowery, delicate), with two matching mugs and two little plates for biscuits!

For 17 years she's been saying 'do you have a dishcloth?' when she does bits of washing up. I think dishcloths are minging. We use those spongy things. Why can't she just use what's there. That's what I do in other people's houses.

Thank god she doesn't stay.