Omg such anality from pil. Come and share your anal behaviour stories (lighthearted)

• Well, we cleared the coffin freezer out in 2010. I had a wee bet on with DB. He reckoned there would be stuff from the previous millenium in there.

He won. A packet of stewed apple (from our own trees, natch) dated 1998

70isaLimit - your dd is like my DH. We call him the 'dustbin' and we do a great pedal bin imitation when he gets really 'bad'.

Lapsed - yes. You can't tell us about coffin sized freezers and not tell us what's in them.

Oh I had a conversation with my mum the other day about "how you record television programmes now".

She still has a TV with a video player, they are thinking of replacing it "what about one of those iPlayer things?"

Well possibly mother, but you'd need the internet. "Ooh no, we don't want that".

They don't have a computer. They just use me as Google.

Brecon - Grandma-in-law does this too - she will ring and say, all accusing "I phoned you twice at the weekend, you didn't answer". Well no, we were away. She won't leave messages asking for a call back, either - so psychic powers are clearly needed.

I never have my mobile switched off - because I don't know how

(My work mobile I can switch off.)

My Dear Old Dad hates to waste food (throwback to his years as a child in the post war rationing).
So he'll put a couple of leftover fishfingers on a plate in the fridge. And has no truck with Use By dates.
We went on holiday a few years back (DF,DM, Ds ,DD and me. DH had the good sense to stay at home, he was working).
My DF had the leftovers for the previous meal each day.Some very odd combinations too.
I told him he had to cover the leftovers (I even bought foil dishes). Otherwise I'd open the fridge to find goodness knows what sitting there

Shortly after we moved in with mum, we had to have the entire kitchen refurbished when the gas cooker (circa 1968) was condemned. Well actually, the gas engineer cut off the entire gas supply to the first floor because it was such a hazard, but that's another saga...

Anyhoo, we boxed up no fewer than 8 packing cases of kitchenware, along with 6 packing cases of cleaning materials and equipment of every description - some of which actually pre-dated barcodes.

Every fecking blunt knife, broken sieve and handleless saucepan since the 1950s had been hoarded in that damn kitchen.

Shall I share what we found lurking in the walk-in pantry and at the bottom of the coffin-sized chest freezer?

Nobody's mentioned hearing aids yet. More specifically, not turning them on in case the batteries run down. There are at least one set of spare batteries in the case. But no, these are for emergencies.

DF always replies to an email by ringing me on the phone.

My ILs will ring me up on my mobile to demand to know where the heck I am if they turn up unexpectedly when I'm out. They cannot fathom any reason why I should divert from my usual routine without several days' notice to every family member, as this is what 'normal' people would do.

Fantastic thread.

FIL told me today the other day that he has bought a gizmo for transferring all his "audio tapes" (ie cassettes) onto his PC. Not been listened to in over five years since they last changed the car, as newer car doesn't have a tape slot. I don't think he has yet thought through how transferring these audio gems to his PC will enable him to listen to them in the car. Or how long it's going to take to transfer them given that he finds all computer software and connections incomprehensible. Or that as they haven't been listened to in five years he can't have missed them much. Or that as they all date from circa 1985 the quality is going to be a bit shit. As with everything else in life, throwing them away is Not. An. Option.

Aged Mama flatly refuses to replace any of the carpets or curtains in the house. Some of them pre-date our moving in - 1972, IIRC! The rooms are huge with high ceilings so replacements are spendy. We are getting there v. slowly .

That might explain the smell - all those (long deceased) former residents including smokers, cats, incontinent smoking cats etc.

Ponders with the extra info re magazine hoarding I wonder if you are already a lost cause.

I never have my mobile turned on either. Getting more and more concerned now that It Has Started.

This thread is hilarious. My PILs are lovely and kind but have certain things which drive me crackers and have me and DH eye-rolling furiously.

MiL has a thing about leftovers. Everything has to be served in proper serving dishes. She always over caters so there's always leftovers, which have to be decanted into a million tupperware pots or little bowls with cling film on. They then get re-decanted into serving dishes for their next incarnation.

PILs are super fussy about about what goes into their dishwasher - no glasses, pans, knives etc, so there's always loads of washing-up to do. Which has to be done immediately after a meal has finished.

Cutlery. Fuck me, they have no less than three storage zones for their various canteens of cutlery: some in the kitchen drawer, some in the dresser drawer (complete with little sticky labels S and L for small forks/knives or large forks/knives) and another one in a built-in cupboard in the dining-room (alsowith sticky labels). It's labyrinthine. I admitted defeat last visit and left it on a tray in the kitchen after washing-up. Life's too short.

LP

no wildlife infestations in the magazine collection here yet

why do some old people's houses smell like old people's houses?

we have a neighbour who retired more than 20 years ago, when she was the age I am now. she lived then with her aged mother, but her aged mother died many years ago, & her house still smells the same

Ponders!

We only disposed of them because there were signs of (ahem) vermin wildlife infestation. Not exclusively amongst the 'Which's of course - I personally blame the 35 years worth of 'Gramophone' magazines which were also up there....

I wander around confused in Tesco Extra myself, Euphemia, must be a nightmare for a man

"Mobile never turned on. Phones are for DF to ring people not for people to ring him."

My dear brother used to keep his mobile off, even when driving 200 miles to visit Mum, who would want to ring at some point in his journey to get some idea of when she would best start cooking, so he could eat soon after arrival.

My BiL (admittedly until recently on parish council) also kept his mobile off more than on. Perhaps now my sister has retired they might both keep them on (however, logic dictates that as they may be out together, odds are they 'will not need them' so phones might be off, or in car, or at home, anyway!)

My eldest sister (new to a contract mobile with hundreds of minutes) now seems to ring at any time after 20:00. The most recent call started at 22:15 and went on to 00:30 (I was in bed snuggled up by then!). Ring her and 99 of 100 times it goes to voicemail, with no guesses at how many hours or days before she may ring back.

She has rung up before now at 23:30 ... and to be fair, one of my clients rang around the same time on a Saturday night a couple of years ago, desperate for me to remove a virus that was preventing him from printing flight documents needed for a flight on the Sunday after lunch!!

LapsedPacifist, I currently have more than 25 years worth of Which magazines!

I never look at them (honest) but can't bring myself to put them in the recycling sack either.

I may inflict them on the Health Centre waiting room instead

DM lives alone, and when she stays with us occasionally offers to cook.
She asks what we would like.
Me: Dunno, how about chicken?
DM (wearing startled expression) Chickun? What sort of chickun?
Me: Doesn't matter, how about stewed?
DM: Do you have a recipe?
Me: No.
Baffled DM then consults several cookbooks for half an hour.
Then she checks to see if we have all the exact ingredients, which means getting everything out of the fridge and leaving it out.
Then comes the actual cooking, which requires weighing and measuring everything.
Then she decants everything she took out of the fridge into little plastic containers.
Three hours later, by which time everyone is starving and bad-tempered, she will produce?for four adults and a teenager?one teeny dish of mashed potato.