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Omg such anality from pil. Come and share your anal behaviour stories (lighthearted)

911 replies

ledkr · 05/01/2013 11:04

We are with pil at present and they are very sweet but so bloody uptight about everything.
Bil has been away for a week so he left car with pil so that it "wasn't left in the street" it has a steering lock on and fil takes it for a drive each day! The car is an old banger worth about two hundred quid.
Kids can't even eat a banana without a table cloth,mat and plate Hmm
Leaving the house to walk to shops is a major ordeal. Costs hats gloves change of shoes everything switched off at the wall last minute run upstairs for wallets. I could have been there and back.
So I'm asking you to entertain me with similar stories to help me through the day.

OP posts:
DontmindifIdo · 06/01/2013 17:30

laqueen - do you ever ask your DH why he does that and point it out everytime he does it that he's got to get ready now ?

DH used to do the wandering off when I was about to serve food thing, early on in our relationship I had a meltdown at him words about how rude I found it and if someone has been kind enough to cook for him, the least he could do would be come and eat it. I now normally give him a 5 minute warning along the lines of "just about to plate up" and expect him to get all his random shit various jobs done and be at the table in time to eat.

Winterwardrobetime · 06/01/2013 17:20

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Trills · 06/01/2013 17:19

Expandy table with tablecloth on.

After dinner, take the eating-tablecloth off, inspect to see how dirty it is, fold it up, shrink table, put on a different cloth (the decorative-tablecloth).

Everyone then leaves that room.

When I came down for breakfast the table had already been expanded again and the decorative-tablecloth removed and the eating-tablecloth put back on.

Why not just leave the same cloth on between dinner and breakfast?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 06/01/2013 17:13

LaQueen - my dh does a similar thing when leaving the house, except that I have no idea what he actually does, because he waits until we are all out of the house and in the car, before vanishing indoors for several minutes. This is irritating in summer and fecking annoying in winter, when we sit shivering in the car whilst he faffs indoors.

And he loves spreadsheets. I once bought him a special, expensive kit so he could build an 'OO' gauge P2 locomotive, and he spent days writing a spreadsheet that detailed exactly what had to be done, in what order, and what tools etc would be needed at each stage - it was truly a magnificent example of the Art of the Spreadsheet.

He has not made the loco. He hasn't even taken it out of the bloody packaging!

CunningPlan · 06/01/2013 17:08

Oh my god I thought my PILs were the only ones!

Washing out and reusing sandwich bags - yes.

Obsession for squeegee-ing the shower? Yes.

MIL is obsessive about security as well and hides all the keys. She also wraps her purse in a carrier bag before putting it in her handbag and carries her handbag round the house with her - I once caught her agter breakfast in her nightie in our kitchen, struggling to load the dishwasher which she doesn't understand because her handbag kept swinging in her way from where she had strung it over her shoulder.

Finally, despite the house being about 15 metres from the road, she spends ages infinitesimally adjusting the vertical blinds in the lounge and dining room in case a potential burglar wants to look in and case the joint for her china collection some of which is worth at least a fiver quite valuable.

Weirdly, notwithstanding her shower cleanliness obsession, she point blank refuse to take off her shoes when walking on our newly fitted carpets because "her shoes are clean".

Just because there's no dog shit on them, doesn't mean they're clean, MIL Hmm

Doinmummy · 06/01/2013 17:06

My dad has kept weather charts for the last 20 years. He writes down the temperature, sunny , cloudy , rain , snow etc. if we talk about something in the past he goes and looks up what the weather was doing that day!

clam · 06/01/2013 17:04

Friend's mil refuses to allow her gardener to put any grass cuttings or garden waste in her green wheelie-bin in case it gets dirty. She makes him bag it all up and take it to the dump every week.

Shattereddreams · 06/01/2013 17:01

Dear departed FIL list of foibles

Knives for the job; butter for toast, butter for bread, hard cheese, soft cheese, chicken, roast meat, steak, chops, grapefruit, melon, loaved bread, bread rolls, chopping herbs/ garlic.

Spoons for the job; sugar, coffee, tea, grapefruit, jelly, melon, hot soup, cold soup

Glasses for the drink; lager, bitter, fizzy pop, water, fizzy water, red wine, white wine, sherry, port, brandy. You couldn't see the table. Whole other cupboard just for glasses for breakfast purposes.

The whole rigmarole of getting the right glass and then finding which glass fronted cabinet it is in. Then washing it up before finally being presented with a drink.

Repeat for cutlery.

Microwave (always unplugged) has a sheet of kitchen roll in it on top of the glass plate. Changed weekly on a Sunday morning. When the hob is taken apart and brillo'd. No one is allowed in the kitchen during this time.

Gadgets for the job; green bean stringer, evaporated milk can opener, tomato knife, strawberry husk remover, tea bag squeezer, spaghetti measurer, a million Tupperware inventions like a blamange shaker. There is an entire Tupperware floor to ceiling cupboard.

We had to empty the loft and he had everything already mentioned, bank statements, millions screws & hooks, pieces of wood, three old toilet seats, four sets of spanners etc. The loft, garage, summer house and shed are filled to the brim with at least three of EVERYTHING.

I miss him dearly Grin

My mother has turned into her mother. She keeps the fairy in a pump dispenser next to the sink. The ergonomically perfect bottle designed by Proctor and Gamble isn't up to the job.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 06/01/2013 17:00

FIL has to shit before leaving the house, too. He waits until the moment before everyone is standing in the hall, coats and shoes on. Why doesn't he pre-emptively shit?

Anyway, we don't wait for them any more. Benefit of only fitting us in the car, we just meet at the destination.

rechargemybatteries · 06/01/2013 16:55

Has no one else mentioned the bowel obsession? If I phone mother I get chapter and verse on her bowels and how her cup of coffee in the morning sorts her right out. I have to remember not to phone around 9am or the conversation is cut short with really FAR too much information.

LaQueen · 06/01/2013 16:50

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NorbertDentressangle · 06/01/2013 16:44

Love this thread!

FIL is Mr Anal. When we're staying at their house I love checking my emails on the computer in his home office as I get endless fun looking at the box files -they date back years and are jammed with useless paperwork. For example they'll have a file labelled Holidays 2002 and it will be full of copies of their ferry and travel itinerary, any emails sent/received about accommodation etc from 10 years ago!!!!

On our last visit there was letter on his desk from their GP surgery reminding them about making an appt. for their flu jabs. He'd diligently written on the date they received the letter, the date he'd phoned to make an appt and the date/time of the appt. The letter was waiting to be filed in the Health 2012 file no doubt.

If you ask him something like "when you're next on the computer could you just check what the weather forecast is for tomorrow please" he'll later appear with pages of print outs from various weather sites. Everything is printed out (often in duplicate no doubt). he must be solely responsible for the deforestation of some small country somewhere.

LaQueen · 06/01/2013 16:44

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FellatioNelson · 06/01/2013 16:43

My DH is like that with the loo when we are going out LaQ. It doesn't matter how much notice he's had that we are going out, he always needs to go to the loo and stay there for never less than 20 minutes, at the very point that everyone is ready to leave the house.

LaQueen · 06/01/2013 16:38

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postmanpatscat · 06/01/2013 16:37

My own parents are in their late 60s but reassuringly laid back and normal, apart from dad's mild OCD which I have inherited , but I have to wonder why my parents, inlaws and several older generation couples I know SHARE an email address like there are not enough to go round!

stifnstav · 06/01/2013 16:34

Oh good lord. I am elderly!

I have a cheese box.
I put leftover boiled water in a flask.
If you wash up, the not quite hot water is collected in a jug to fill the kettle.
I have a system for bedding storage.
I save the salt packets from KFC. No fucking clue why cos I never add salt to anything.
I have a button box.
I have a ribbon box.
I have a wrapping paper box.
I have a greetings card box.
I have a gift bag box.
I have a "miscellaneous packaging that might be useful when I sell something on ebay" box.
I save leftovers for soup.
I have a "this isn't Blackpool Illuminations" lightswitch policy.
I have a shelf just for gifts with an accompanying spreadsheet (just look at the fucking shelf, woman!)
I have different bank accounts for different expenditure, including a gifts account! Oh ffs!
I am currently waiting for my new car-seat tidy to arrive, having already decided what I will store in it.

But despite this, people think I am a really messy cow! I fear I may be Monica Geller and people can only see the "messy cupboard" side to me.

I have just turned 32. I am One Of Them.The

EndoplasmicReticulum · 06/01/2013 16:32

My mum is another warm-plate obsessive. In her house she "warms" them in the oven with the food, so we have to warn small children of the danger of burning.

If we eat out, the first thing she does is touch the plate, and then tut.

BuiltForComfort · 06/01/2013 16:24

My lovely DPs -

Going deaf but refuse to admit (& get cross with each other because of both mishearing) - tick.

Mum being driven everywhere by Dad despite owning her own car - tick.

Strange rituals regarding the drying / airing / ironing of clothes (& tense hovering in background should I attempt to wash & dry any of my clothes my own way when visiting them) - tick.

Inability to cook in my kitchen though perfectly capable at home (DM) - tick.

Much discussion of route / traffic etc despite route not having changed in 20 years (DF) - tick.

However they run their dishwasher about 3 times a day, sometimes only with 2 cups, saucers (never mugs), small plates and knives from breakfast. Despite having cupboards full of crockery etc the same 2-4 plates etc will be used over and over and over.

They are fab and I am sad that they are setting to get old now.

Shesparkles · 06/01/2013 16:13

Best. Thread. Ever! Grin

Tee2072 · 06/01/2013 16:11

Is the shopping list thing okay if it's on your Smartphone using an app? Blush

And I actually own two gravy boats.

And lots of tupperware. Which are in two different cupboards, the use daily tupperware cupboard and the use on holidays, such as Christmas, cupboard.

And I'm not quite 44...

2anddone · 06/01/2013 16:08

Do serve gravy in my measuring jug though so there might be hope yet Wink

2anddone · 06/01/2013 16:07

Oh god I am crying with laughter reading this then it hit me....
I have multiple Tupperware for opened packets of food!
I write out all the travel info before I go away!
I write my shopping list then rewrite according to order it is in the shop!
I get mine and my dc clothes out the night before!
I shout at Doris (my sat nav!)
I am on the slippery slope and I am 34 Blush Grin

LindyHemming · 06/01/2013 16:06

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ihatethecold · 06/01/2013 16:05

love this thread, just marking my place so i can read later when home from work Grin