Omg such anality from pil. Come and share your anal behaviour stories (lighthearted)

I do loads of the things on here! I am shocked to discover that some people don't do these things:

Carefully wash and rinse all washable recycling.
Rearrange the dishwasher, so it's loaded correctly.
Warm plates before serving hot food.
Arrive early when visiting, wait round the corner in the car, then pull up at the friend's house on the dot.
Create lists and spreadsheets for everything.
I could go on!

My ILs house is a shithole. It hasn't been decorated in at LEAST 20 years. The kitchen is foul, the oven doesn't work (but never replaced because, you know, the hob does). The bathroom is bare mouldy rotten plaster. The toilet smells like a public bog and doesn't always flush.

When electrical appliances break they don't get thrown away. Dead televisions and computers are piled up in the dining room and covered with tablecloths.

Despite this every single door in the house is locked with a key every time they go out. Like they have anything worth stealing. That gives you all a little idea of how deeply dysfunctional they are.

I've stayed with them for Christmas twice and it's been unremittingly grim. NEVER AGAIN.

After a little bit of soul-searching I need to confess the following

All towels once used once must be submitted immediately for boil washing and cremating in the drier. Especially tea towels and cloths (face, cleaning and dish). Failure to obey towel system will result in everyone getting scabies or botulism.

All dishes must be washed in water so hot it scalds. If your hands ain't bright red afterwards, you are a slattern and botulism, etc will occur.

If I need to be somewhere on time I start from ETA and work backwards, mentally listing all I need to do before I leave up to and including toilet trips. I am never late for anything ever.

Someone kill me now.

I just wanted to say that this is the first thread that has made me cry- it's so sweet and nostalgic, and my grandparents do half be things on this thread!
Brilliant thread- I've been reading it all day and long may it continue!

Honestly, this isn't just parents tho fil is fabulous..
You cannot open the windows in his house, they are wired, locked and painted shut, at night you cannot have a door open (I tested this theory the one and only night I spent in his house and he got up 9 times to close my door it bothered him so much) no body knows what he does when he locks his house, neither of his sons have ever even seen a door key and no body is allowed to watch... We cannot go un announced as we must stay on the step until he feels its ok, this can be quite a while... ( an hour is the longest I have tolerated it)
This is all about the threat of being burgled.... Sad really
The evening meal is started when he gets up at 5.45, frying onions with the dawn... Gorgeous way to wake up

But in my own age group we have friends who won't allow shoes in the house and you have to take slippers with you, except they don't seem to be ok so you get lent fluffy socks anyway
A friend who cannot have gravy on his dinner plate but has to have some on a saucer on the side
One who must have everything eaten at the table, all cups and glasses have saucers and coasters, even kids treats are out of the packets and onto saucers (I wonder how many she has??)

My parents have got to know the surnames of everyone, which is very difficult for DD aged 3 who gets asked what her friends are called....

I'll stop now, I'm sure I'm just as OCD really

Only if it's not the ovens birthday, he refuses to work on that day

Bigbouncing, that's definitely extreme, putting household appliance birthdays on the kitchen calendar... What do they do, bake a cake?

My father has worn the same style of shoe for as long as I can remember. He always a best black and best brown pair and then an older set for working in.

Sadly I seem to have inherited this trait as I realised this summer that I buy the same style of sandal every summer. As a treat I sometimes get a different colour to brown. But always return to brown the following year.

I've remembered my mum takes all of the wrapping paper say at xmas and before throwing it away takes each piece and flattens it smooth and then folds it beautifully. So by the end of tidying up she has a pile of neatly folded used wrapping paper. She also keeps the gift tags so she can reread them later.

I offered to take her xmas cards down the other day. Shge declined as apparently she likes to read through them as she is doing it.

I know spb, she is a very loving mum, but her house is spotless! She includes what new bedding she has bought and what she's achieved in the garden in her annual round robin.

Random things that either MIL or DPs or DH or I do-

MIL
peels cucumber
warm plates
stores everything in fridge including bread and ketchup
serves children's dinner 30 mins early so it has time to 'cool down' and therefore their food is cold when they get to eat it
Makes different food for children than what she makes for the adults.
if you don't drink your cup of coffee immediately then it is whisked away as it is 'too cold'

DM
never refriderates cooked leftovers from roast dinners, at a push she will put the leftover meat into the microwave to 'stop the cat getting to it'
always serves out of date 'bargains', rarely pays full price for any food
hoards food - I cleared one of her cupboards out last week. One shelf was crammed full of packets. Some dated back to 1998.... She is bound to have gone into the bin after I have gone and got it all back out again.
On the same note she had 15 packets of bread sauce mix - for emergencies? we only have it at xmas..
Stores her clothes wrapped in tissue. Also packs her suitcase by wrapping items in tissue paper.

DF
will not throw out yesterday's paper - consequently he has a pile of old newspapers 2 feet high next to his chair in the living room
Folds his coat and DM's coat beautifully before placing it carefully into the boot of the car, even if the back seat is empty.
Snips out coupons for discount on his daily newspaper if any is available and takes full adavtage of it.

DH
Orders his books by author and date on the shelf.
Likes to collect sets of things - books, CDs DVDs etc and then display on limitless storage units.
Will not let me paint anything in the house, as apparently I don't do it properly.
Leaves it to the last minute to arrive anywhere - airport for instance. Drives me mad as I have to be there hours ahead of time to be sure.

Me
Likes to put items onto the conveyor belt at supermarket in the order they will be packed away at home. So first I put shelf by shelf for the cupbaord, then fridge stuff, then freezer and then bread and so on... They then have to be placed into the correct pack for ease of unpacking. DH is not allowed to help as he gets it wrong. I also do not want staff to help with packing as they get it wrong too.
If dishwasher is not loaded correctly then I have to unload and redo it.
I have to be first to bed on the day I put clean sheets and duvet cover on the bed. I get very upset if DH beats me to it.

I haven't seen my ILs for over a year, then it was dinner out and 30 mins for coffee on our way to the airport - at OH's insistence.

OH, though, does the unplugging thing. He did try to dictate that I must unplug everything in the kitchen, so I asked him to pull the fitted oven out of it's space so that I could unplug it. He saw the light. I see myself as being cruel to be kind, whenever he starts obsessing about the banal I exaggerate it so that he can see he's being rediculous. I just couldn't live with most of the people you good people are putting up with describing here. grew up like that and I can't go back to it

I can see the sense in planning meals if you are busy or on a tight budget, but even then you can allow some flexibility. Oh, and don't get me started on the airing cupboard. OH keep talking about it wistfully, my washing is dried outside with twice the radiation level you get in the UK, it's bone dry if it were to be any drier it would be dust.

My DP was brought up by his Grandparents, and we love them dearly, they do many of the things above. This thread has made me laugh and cry, as they are in their 90s now.

DP's idea of interior design was much influenced by them, when we first moved in together in the 90s, instead of buying cheerful things from Ikea like everyone else, he wanted a faux mahogany monolith with a glass front for the displaying of knick knacks/ china (none of which we owned) His lovely GPs donated some of their Tupperware collection which I still use

We lived with them for 6 months when Ds1 was a tiny baby, they were so kind to have us, and I sort of morphed into their routine: cooked breakfast every day, coffee at 11 (with warm milk), all PM activities to be completed in time to watch Countdown and have a little snooze. I became a retired person at 28, it was like being anaesthetised, weird but nice.

Definitely not! And the farting is just very matter of fact, with no 'pardon me' or anything - even with non related company in the house!

Aah right Pseudo not 'Im going for a tom tit' then rolling the newspaper under his arm then?

Ha ha no! FIL doesn't say it with relish, more like he feels like he has to account for his whereabouts at all times! However, you'll be able to work out where he is, because guaranteed you'll need the loo and he'll be in there. They only have one....

Is you partner Anthony from the Royle Family Pseudo?

DP's dad announces to the whole room "I'm off to the loo for a little while". It means he's going for a poo.
And he and DMIL are shameless about farting :o

DF also waits until the food is on the table to disappear for 15 mins. It annoys me so much that at mealtimes I give a 10 minute warning. When dinner is ready I wait a few minutes and then we start. If you aren't at the table, we don't wait. I do expect DC to ask if they can leave the table.

This thread has made me cry with laughter. There's so much that's familiar.

My dad keeps everything in the original box. Sat Nav - ceremoniously taken out for each journey as required, then carefully replaced and all the sticky tape on the box resealed.
He uses a letter opener for all post. He has a special refillable pencil which he must use.

Hadn't thought of that! Yes, she has a machine. But it isn't used for "smalls"... not that they are small. They are enormous!