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Omg such anality from pil. Come and share your anal behaviour stories (lighthearted)

911 replies

ledkr · 05/01/2013 11:04

We are with pil at present and they are very sweet but so bloody uptight about everything.
Bil has been away for a week so he left car with pil so that it "wasn't left in the street" it has a steering lock on and fil takes it for a drive each day! The car is an old banger worth about two hundred quid.
Kids can't even eat a banana without a table cloth,mat and plate Hmm
Leaving the house to walk to shops is a major ordeal. Costs hats gloves change of shoes everything switched off at the wall last minute run upstairs for wallets. I could have been there and back.
So I'm asking you to entertain me with similar stories to help me through the day.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Womaninhouse17 · 09/02/2026 19:53

Piknik · 09/02/2026 12:51

The sweetest thing is that he had also done diagrams for my mum for household things he considered 'her domain'. He was actually a very 50/50% housework dad - cooking and cleaning possibly more than mum, but he would never dream of using a kitchen appliance like a blender or magimix. So these were mums things and there is a diagram of the Magimix with lots of --> ? pointing at things he didn't know the function of and never got round to checking.

They are beautifully drawn actually. I might actually frame a few a stick them in the loo!

It sounds like his notes would make a fantastic book!

Piknik · 09/02/2026 12:51

The sweetest thing is that he had also done diagrams for my mum for household things he considered 'her domain'. He was actually a very 50/50% housework dad - cooking and cleaning possibly more than mum, but he would never dream of using a kitchen appliance like a blender or magimix. So these were mums things and there is a diagram of the Magimix with lots of --> ? pointing at things he didn't know the function of and never got round to checking.

They are beautifully drawn actually. I might actually frame a few a stick them in the loo!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/02/2026 09:27

@Piknik - I once did a set of instructions like your dad's, for my mum - so she could watch and record Freeview on her TV. It covered two sides of notepaper, because she needed to use two different remotes - one to switch on the TV, and the other for Freeview and recordings.

To my knowledge, she never once recorded a programme!

Womaninhouse17 · 09/02/2026 07:17

Piknik · 09/02/2026 00:20

Ahhhh so nice to see this thread again. I am 'upthread' with a different name and I've just had a lovely hour scrolling back though.

Sadly my lovely parents are no longer with us but when clearing out their stuff I found a stack of papers in a draw in a console table in the living room, and each one was a hand drawn diagram of something in our house - an appliance or similar - with my dads annotations. My favourites were one of the Microwave with the words 'Microwave - alternative to oven' at the top. He had re-created all the symbols but seemed most interested in the defrost function which was very heavily annotated and had had notes like "Is it thoroughly defrosted? Check!!" on it. And my second favourite was a very detailed one of the remote control for the TV - each button was drawn and labelled, but also had annotations like "DO NOT PUSH THIS WHILST RECORDING" and "Press to rewind. Press twice to fast rewind. Three presses is too fast". I have this diagram folded in my purse as we speak.

You would be forgiven for thinking that they had no instruction manuals and that there wasn't a box file in the cupboard with a Dynamo label saying 'Appliance Instructions 1998-Present Day'. I miss them.

I need someone like him to come and make an instruction diagram for my TV remote. I only use about four of the buttons and daren't press any of the others in case I never find my way back!

Piknik · 09/02/2026 00:23

Also @LizzieVereker's description has made me chuckle many times over the years. I can relate as it's exactly how my DP was raised and what he thinks 'good looks like' and it's the perfection of the use of 'monolith'.

DP's idea of interior design was much influenced by them, when we first moved in together in the 90s, instead of buying cheerful things from Ikea like everyone else, he wanted a faux mahogany monolith with a glass front for the displaying of knick knacks/ china (none of which we owned)

Piknik · 09/02/2026 00:20

Ahhhh so nice to see this thread again. I am 'upthread' with a different name and I've just had a lovely hour scrolling back though.

Sadly my lovely parents are no longer with us but when clearing out their stuff I found a stack of papers in a draw in a console table in the living room, and each one was a hand drawn diagram of something in our house - an appliance or similar - with my dads annotations. My favourites were one of the Microwave with the words 'Microwave - alternative to oven' at the top. He had re-created all the symbols but seemed most interested in the defrost function which was very heavily annotated and had had notes like "Is it thoroughly defrosted? Check!!" on it. And my second favourite was a very detailed one of the remote control for the TV - each button was drawn and labelled, but also had annotations like "DO NOT PUSH THIS WHILST RECORDING" and "Press to rewind. Press twice to fast rewind. Three presses is too fast". I have this diagram folded in my purse as we speak.

You would be forgiven for thinking that they had no instruction manuals and that there wasn't a box file in the cupboard with a Dynamo label saying 'Appliance Instructions 1998-Present Day'. I miss them.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 28/01/2026 12:24

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 28/01/2026 09:38

Never?

Not in 2013 I didn't.

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 28/01/2026 09:44

ShowMePotatoSalad · 21/11/2016 20:26

Also MIL won't drive more than 56mph because any faster isn't as economic apparently. They've got a tiny car and I can just imagine them getting beeped at on the motorway by giant lorries. Grin

That’s dangerous on a slip road joining the motorway.

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 28/01/2026 09:38

EndoplasmicReticulum · 05/01/2013 23:27

I never have my mobile turned on either. Getting more and more concerned now that It Has Started.

Never?

Worriedmum029337 · 26/01/2026 15:42

Great thread! My nan used to reuse bread wrappers. And would double/triple wrap anything she gave you. All her kitchen cupboards and fridge were almost empty so god knows what she ate. She lived to 93.
My other nan who is still alive at 97 and going strong, does similar to another uptrend. She makes a pan of something or other ,leaves on the hob and eats ot all week!! Not refrigerated! She has never ever been ill!
My mum is now mid 70s and is the worst of the lot. Everything has a place, strict daily routine that they struggle to deviate from even when my son was in intensive care and I needed their help.
If you don't drink your cup of tea within the first minute she gives it to you, she keeps reminding you about it.
They have a brand new dishwasher that is never used . They use it to store oven ware.
They keep trays and pans and a chip pan will old fat /lard in them and reuse it multiple times .
Dad keeps every screw etc he sees even though he hates doing diy and is terrible at it. He has a double garge full to the brim . It makes me sad to think when hes gone the whole lot will just go in a skip or to the scrap man.
Even if my mum is terribly ill, she would never ever sleep during the day and absolutely never get into bed during the day. I love lying on my bed multiple times a day lol

Newsenmum · 14/09/2025 19:24

LaGuerta · 05/01/2013 11:48

My mother really struggles to accept that we don't own a gravy boat and serve gravy in a measuring jug.

We had this with PIL. We dont really have roasts. So we get a gravy boat and about four packets of bisto in the post. They also do a roast every Sunday and bicker the entire time. It’s so much work and very tiring but you know, Sunday.

My own mother is like that with the plates and coasters and sitting down to eat.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 07/06/2025 19:42

This appeared on the "I'm On" threads and as it's from 2013 I had ti check and make sure I didn't write anything too unkind ,
My Dad died in 2021 but I've checked and No , I stand by what I wrote Wink

So a new one .
When my Dad was out if he saw a screw on the pavement or road he picked it up to go in his shed "might come in handy"
I pick them up to save a car tyre from damage . My cars cup holder at any time has half a dozen nails or screws in it !

Peanutbutterflies · 07/06/2025 18:48

Just found this thread in classics! Love it 💜
My FIL would put out his breakfast measured precisely the night before and all meals were at certain times!
Very much missed

lifeisgoodrightnow · 17/04/2025 11:24

When my FIL had to go into respite care my mil would only allow his ‘blue clothes’ to be packed and sent in. His ‘brown’ clothes ( he only was allowed blue or brown ) stayed firmly at home in case HORRORS brown and blue items were accidentally mixed by the carers.

sorry I know this is an old thread but it’s cheered me up today.

EspressoPatronumm · 24/09/2022 06:50

@Ledkr I loved the image of you eating in a wimpy terrified of being caught 😂 hope you had a plate..

Ledkr · 13/09/2022 23:08

Gosh this just came up and it's one of my old threads.
Dd is now 20 and we still cackle at us sat in the wimpey stuffing our faces.
They are still the same BTW.

OP posts:
Vapeyvapevape · 13/09/2022 19:57

I love this thread ! It's arrangements that are so weird with my parents, any arrangement we make is so complicated.
My sister takes my parents for tea and cake in a cafe at a local park every Wednesday. I live about an hour away from them.
Last Wednesday I had an unexpected day off and suggested I join them . Omg , the hooha that this caused! My mum didn't want me to drive so far because she was sure I was tired (I wasn't) , a big discussion took place about whether I went to my sisters or theirs first (couldn't go to theirs as they didn't have enough milk ) . I said I would meet them at the cafe , another big discussion about what time and what if I got stuck in traffic and the biggest problem about me going was mum and dad share a slice of cake and one slice might not stretch to three of us sharing! I said I would have a slice to myself (like my sister does) but mum was worried I wouldn't be able to manage a whole slice and did I want her to phone the cafe and ask if they would do me a smaller portion.
I love them dearly but they drive me nuts!

neilyoungismyhero · 11/09/2022 20:53

Eskarina · 05/01/2013 20:55

My parents sound relatively normal compared to most of these stories BUT good grief the shower squeegee thing. Dad has an electric Kärcher thing that sucks the water off the wall. He's told me about it 90 million times. We should get one apparently. We were even treated to a demonstration when we went up at Xmas. Twice. When baby dd put sticky fingerprints on the patio doors it was an occasion of joy because dad had an excise to use the electric squeegee thing.
They've seen one on offer not as good as the offer they got theirs on and keep asking me If I want them to put in an order so we can have one too!

Oh God, that made me laugh and squirm.....I have the same item and am always advising my daughters about the merits of it, to be fair I've yet to demonstrate...although she is popping round in the week...........hmmmmm

Bloodyusernamechangefailagain · 03/09/2022 17:43

🤣

soberfabulous · 25/07/2022 18:11

Oh and I also have a special running rail for my work clothes and I sort them all out on a Sunday.

I plan an outfit for every day, and hang underwear and jewelry from each hanger:

As a PP said; I am not in the military 😂

But it save me so much time and in my defense I have a stressful long hours job.

soberfabulous · 25/07/2022 18:09

I have found my people! Weeping at this thread. My parents came to stay with me for 28 days (yes, count them and weep) earlier this year and they drove me absolutely nuts with their ways.

Having said that, I exhibit some worrying traits from this thread myself:

I wash out sandwich bags and re use them (I thought we had to now with sustainability and all!)
I use a gravy boat every Sunday with the Sunday roast
I have a typed up packing list which is printed out (I would laminate it if I could) to be fair we travel a lot and it's always on me to sort the bulk of it
I can only drink coffee from a china mug

Put a pillow over my face, I'm done 😂

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 16/07/2022 08:55

Having been awake since 5am, I've been trawling Classics for entertainment and chuckling along at all the looney parents and in-laws on this thread...before suddenly realising that I now have a special pillow that I can't sleep without it.

The special pillow has a special pillow case, and both come with me everywhere. I took it to our holiday cottage last month. I'm taking it to the school camp out tonight. The only reason it's not coming to Mallorca with us next month is because it won't fit in the suitcase, but I'm very worried that I'm going to end up with such a sore neck from sleeping on inadequate pillows.

I have a special cup that must be used for coffee, and a different special cup that I have my tea in. Tea must now be made in a pot, not in a mug, but it really bothers me it no one else wants tea because it seems so wasteful to make a whole pot just for me.

I also have a special spoon that I use for eating soft-boiled eggs, but it can only be used for that purpose and no other.

I've become one of them, haven't I?! 😱

LadyFidgetAndHerHandbag · 15/07/2021 18:36

This thread is an absolute joy.

My dad and mum are farmers and also have a large kitchen garden and orchard so they are always well stocked for food. Obviously the farm products are sold but their kitchen garden and orchard products are for personal use and are either eaten or given away. What cannot be eaten or given away is canned, pickled or in some way preserved by my mum for her 'pantry' (a massive room in their barn that could house a family of 4). You could survive the apocalypse with what they have stored.
My dad is another man of a certain age who saves every screw, tiny bit of wood, random sheet of metal, etc. They are carefully labelled and stored in a slightly complicated system that only he and I know and my mum has an inkling of. To be fair to him he is an absolute whizz with a hammer and nail so he does actually use all these things he stores but he has no shame at taking home anything he finds or picking up old screws on the street, he's also been known to stop at building sites to see if they have anything he can take.

My Nonna is another one who's obsessed with 'good drying weather', the thing with Australia is there's a lot of 'good drying weather' but she can't bear to let a potential good drying day go to waste and has been known to strip beds that were only made a day or two earlier just to get them on the line. I think this comes from raising a large family and thus having a lot of washing but really isn't necessary now. She also hates the idea that somebody might want something so whenever you visit she's up and down like a yoyo offering coffee, cake, biscuits, water, a cushion, a blanket, the window open, the window closed, etc, etc. I often threaten to sit on her so she'll sit still and we can have a conversation. Nonna keeps in touch with every relative in Italy too and writes to them all regularly. This is quite handy though cos when we fancy a trip to Italy there's always an aunty or a cousin who can put us up/show us around/recommend a good risotto restaurant/show us where the best coffee is. She's a wonderful woman and getting quite old now so I'll miss her when she's gone.

My birth mother is an absolute law unto herself and has so many foibles and little ways it's hard to keep track of them all. She likes to make food last so will cook a roast on a Sunday then use the meat for meals for days afterwards. This is all fine but she will never use all of it because she's going to use it for her next meal then doesn't. If you look in her fridge there's loads of packets of tiny bits of chicken and beef that wouldn't make even a half decent sandwich. I remember visiting her once when I was a teenager and asking her if I could have the leftovers from last night's dinner for my lunch but was told that she was saving it for an unspecified thing and therefore I must have a sandwich. The leftovers were still there a week later. She likes to buy bread from the bakery and will take it home and carefully slice it into the exact number of slices needed for the week. A random piece of toast is not allowed, if you are hungry after dinner you are allowed one digestive then must wait until breakfast (or sneak some biscuits into the house).
She cannot cope with being single so always has a boyfriend, partner or husband who each come with their own little habits. Currently she has Derek. Derek has a blue badge and refuses to pay for parking. Derek would rather spend a day out constantly moving his car from one spot to another than spend £5 in a car park. Derek also insists on having corn flakes for his breakfast every morning except Sunday when he has a bacon sandwich. He weighs out his corn flakes and milk so he has the exact same amount each day. Derek nearly had a coronary when I offered him pancakes for breakfast when they came to stay. Derek is a keen amateur photographer and always has a little book with his camera equipment. Every photo he takes is logged in the little book with the time, location, light quality and loads of other little details. When he develops his photos all these details are noted down on the back. Looking at Derek's photos includes a running commentary about the minutae of each shot.
The worst by far though was Geoff who also carried a little book with him but his was because he'd compiled a list of every bowel movement he'd had for about 40 years with details of consistency, smell, colour and anything else "noteworthy". At some point Geoff had bought a computer and had put all his data into a spreadsheet, when I met him I was asked to look at the computer because it was very slow and didn't do what he wanted it to. I told him it was because it was incredibly old and needed replacing but Geoff couldn't do that because that's where all his data was stored and he didn't know how to save it to a disc.

OldEvilOwl · 21/05/2021 13:05

I love this thread so much. Here's mine. DM & DSF (Step Father)

DSF is a plumber (retired but still does the odd job). If any of 'us' meaning family want them to answer the phone, we must let the phone ring for 3 rings then hang up, and call back immediately - they will know its one of 'us' not someone trying to get hold of DSF for a plumbing job.

Usually when this happens, the second time I ring its engaged as DM has answered the phone and is trying to ring me back instead of just waiting for me to ring her back. I then have to hang up again, and hope her call comes through or try again to get hold of her. This often involves her leaving me a voicemail saying 'Its me, did you ring me?'
Drives me crazy! and it seems even more crazy now typed it here. They ignore the phone for everyone else but do have an answering machine so they can ignore the messages too

PerspicaciousGreen · 11/04/2021 20:20

@Ohchristmastreeohchristmastree

My DF writes the start date inside kitchen rolls to see how long they last for. He also has a measuring jug by the kettle with lines drawn in Sharpie to let you know how much water you should put in the kettle, so you don’t boil more water than you need for a cup of tea.
Oh no, I have done both of these things! Not kitchen roll, but written the date on things like toiletries so I can figure out how much I use in a year. Not on every bottle, just a kind of spot check to extrapolate from.

And we don't have a measuring jug but I do know how much water to boil for one mug, two mugs and the teapot.