Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Unflip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

Unflip

1 2 ··· 5 6 7 8 9 10

Original poster

For the first time ever DH & DS went off to do the xmas food shop......I am still laughing...

241 replies

Megglevache · 24/12/2012 13:06

...his parting words
"don't look worried Mrs MLV...I got this"

he spent almost £300

he bought amoungst other things
12 pack of kitchen roll
24 luxury toilet rolls- the type that are about 12 tog and will block up our feeble pipes
A partridge
8 different olives
Masses and masses of lemon jelly???
Premier Champagne (he's teetotal) I drink Cava
Popcorn (with sour cream and chives Heresy
the whole biscuit aisle
a farking Heston Blumenthrill cake (£25!!!???)
a crate of festive cheeses
8lb gammon
salmon
bike helmet
fancy bubble bath
posh candles (that smell)

Please share with me tales of bizarre shopping to take off the edge..

PS.. I am still laughing every time I open up the fridge...(which has hardly anything in it)

OP posts:

Mulledandmerry · 24/12/2012 16:49

Meggle..i think you and your dh have added some laughter to a lot of households tonight. What a great gift. Merry Christmas x

Bossybritches22 · 24/12/2012 16:46

Meggle I have been in bed with a virus all w/e in between bursts of energy to try & prepare somewhat for tomorrow.

Your lovely DH has made me giggle so much I have cried.

blackcurrants · 24/12/2012 16:28

this thread has made me laugh and laugh, I simply must learn about the stocking fillers!

JustFabulous · 24/12/2012 16:25

"and the BEST...shampoo...
My dh has no hair....
"dammit, I thought this was bubble bath" More???"

That made me actually LOL.

DH has been bringing home bits of shopping and all have been very sensible. I feel cheated .

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 24/12/2012 16:24

Same.

ratbagcatbag · 24/12/2012 16:15

Shamelessly marking place for stocking filler update later

LittenTree · 24/12/2012 16:11

meggle - we do need photos. I looked on your photos and saw a handsome man (surely not 'the one' of whom we speak? ) and gorgeous children. But I await the forthcoming pear tree photo!

Here's me thinking DH's transgression, buying pastrami, not pancetta for the spouts was bad... though the spell checker gives me 'cetacean' for 'pancetta' so I should be grateful I did not fry my sprouts through with Minke whale, hey?

Original poster

Megglevache · 24/12/2012 16:09

redtoothbrush
lemon jelly will be nice and light after all that heavy food :-) was what he said
he NEVER does the food shop.
I need to know what the stocking fillers will be.

OP posts:

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 24/12/2012 16:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StaceymReadyForNumber3 · 24/12/2012 16:03

Sorry have to mark my place to check back to see the stocking fillers.

TessGoesDirectToBethlehem · 24/12/2012 15:58

I still need to know about the lemon jelly.

Have you mentioned in the past that your life is sadly lacking in lemon jelly?

RedToothbrush · 24/12/2012 15:57

erm, I hate to ask this, but how often does your husband go shopping?

Doobydoo · 24/12/2012 15:55

oLIVES TUMBLED IN FENNELL {grin} Absolutely {grin}

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 24/12/2012 15:55

Loving this thread

My DH insists on a list if he ever does any food shopping, and even then he misses half the stuff, so I have great admiration for your DHs inventiveness!!

I got a funny look from DH the other day- was making pate and the food processor died, so had to send him out to get a new one. When he asked if there was anything else I needed, I said, yes, a pomegranate. "So that's a food processor and...a pomegranate then?" Bet your DH wouldn't have queried the pomegranate. In fect, I bet you've already got one, haven't you, OP ?

BeataNoxPotter · 24/12/2012 15:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Megglevache · 24/12/2012 15:50

heheh I bet it's a big ruse Living!

he's saving the stocking stuff until the kids are in bed....my sides will ache too much I fear.

He has just said to me "I just wanted to give you all the treats you we never have and spoil you me as we work so hard all year, I hope I did alright".... awww

OP posts:

INeedThatForkOff · 24/12/2012 15:49

My DH wouldn't buy any biscuits at all. Instead he would buy tonnes of veg (half of which would go to waste), wholewheat pasta , oatcakes, six types of hummus and various tinned beans. No meat (we're not vegetarian). OP, will you send you DH to pick up a few bits for me too?

LivingInAPinkBauble · 24/12/2012 15:47

Loving this thread! Giggling away as although I have a DH who is good at food shopping he clearly has no idea about surprise presents! He asked me for ideas and amongst other things I suggested stud earrings. So far he has rung me to ask where the shop I suggested was, whether I can wear white gold (yellow gold makes my ears swell, I don't get it either!) and if I like heart shapes. Either this is an elaborate ruse or there will be heart shaped earrings to open tomorrow!

Mind you, we shopped this morning and I dropped him at work whilst I came home and unpacked it. I have found some random extra things that he has shoved in, he put it all in bags whilst I grabbed something we had forgotten, so my first chance to see everything!

Merry Christmas!

Sparklingbrook · 24/12/2012 15:46

I am wondering if I need some 'jumbo malaise'.

Is he going out again in a bit to follow the 'mark down man' round the supermarket just before closing? He really should. Think of the bargains.

LittleBairn · 24/12/2012 15:45

I would LOVE DH to buy fancy loo paper but we have crappy piping if we use anything other than sainsburys cheap paper it blocks within a day. DH is SOOO pleased to to save the £ loo paper I fear I will never have a comfortable quilted wipe again.

I love it when my DH goes shopping too, he never quite manages to get an actual meal but he will buy the contents of the snack isle. He has no logic.
Today he considered picking Up a tub of fancy Italian ice cream from the ice cream parlour before it closes but then decidedly it's best not because he will sit around on his arse all Christmas getting fat.....instead he bought umpteen bars of chocolate, nuts and crisps.

FreeButtonChristmasTree · 24/12/2012 15:41

Lololol. This is hilarious. WHY did he feel thzt you needed more olives?!

My DH has decided that this avvo is the perfect time to pack the loft (we're mvoing house in 3 weeks)! My hall is full of boxes...

TessGoesDirectToBethlehem · 24/12/2012 15:40

Meggle Your DH sounds absolutely brilliant.

Okay, you might not be able to sustain this lifestyle beyond Christmas but it's like he has gone out and bought all of life's luxuries in one shop - regardless of whether they are needed - and his intention is to make it a very merry christmas.

ohforfoxsake · 24/12/2012 15:36

priceless!

topsyturner · 24/12/2012 15:35

Checks lavaches profile for address , cos I want to spend Christmas in your house !

quirrelquarrel · 24/12/2012 15:33

This thread is so cheering me up

So is the decision I've taken to do some of my essay today cos I can't bear it hanging over me!

Unflip

1 2 ··· 5 6 7 8 9 10