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Original poster

For the first time ever DH & DS went off to do the xmas food shop......I am still laughing...

241 replies

Megglevache · 24/12/2012 13:06

...his parting words
"don't look worried Mrs MLV...I got this"

he spent almost £300

he bought amoungst other things
12 pack of kitchen roll
24 luxury toilet rolls- the type that are about 12 tog and will block up our feeble pipes
A partridge
8 different olives
Masses and masses of lemon jelly???
Premier Champagne (he's teetotal) I drink Cava
Popcorn (with sour cream and chives Heresy
the whole biscuit aisle
a farking Heston Blumenthrill cake (£25!!!???)
a crate of festive cheeses
8lb gammon
salmon
bike helmet
fancy bubble bath
posh candles (that smell)

Please share with me tales of bizarre shopping to take off the edge..Grin

PS.. I am still laughing every time I open up the fridge...(which has hardly anything in it)

OP posts:
FraterculaArctica · 24/12/2012 20:59

When I was younger my Dad always started his Christmas present shopping at 4 pm on Christmas eve. Cue many totally random presents. One year we (including my mum) each got a pillow. Not even a particularly nice one - think BHS cheap polyester. Another year we each got a low-energy light bulb from B&Q.

And he was king of the supermarket reduced aisle - drove my mum mad by getting home at 7 pm on Christmas Eve with, e.g., 4 half-rotten pineapples. 'But they were only 10p each!' - yes, but no-one actually wants to eat pineapple on Christmas Day...

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 24/12/2012 20:56

Loving the random packet of teacakes. :)

Original poster
Megglevache · 24/12/2012 20:55

hey I have added pics of the food feast...
had to do it in private

I feel like a spy

OP posts:
GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 24/12/2012 20:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

girlsyearapart · 24/12/2012 20:31

I do love this thread.

We are hosting family Xmas breakfast - he did the shopping.

The list said 'nice bread'

He bought thick sliced white hovis (plastic)

SchroSawMummyRidingSantaClaus · 24/12/2012 20:29

Hahaha! This is brilliant. :o Another vote for classics.

Btw, posh birds eggs are lush, never had the duck ones though. The normal hen ones cost about £3 for 6 btw!

LittleMissKitschmas · 24/12/2012 20:22

Can this go in classics? I've been giggling at it rather a lot. The cat is very confused:o

cocolepew · 24/12/2012 20:20

Good grief, you are a very good looking family Shock

Love that he bought shampoo..

Original poster
Megglevache · 24/12/2012 20:04

Plomino- me and you baby...enough prawn cocktail to make the bernie inn blance.

Oh my goodness genuine thanks..you are all so sweet. Thank you.
I'm very happy and slightly tipsy have just come back from a dear friend's house- she plied us with fizz and they were weeing at dh's list of shopping and want to share a mouthful of partridge tomorrow- dh bathing the kids now...will do photos now...he will not tell me what's in the stockings apart from the tantalising "aa batteries" because who doesn;t need them...

He's got them lighter fluid and Deodorgel? hasn't he...I may have mad eup the latter

OP posts:
FrostyTheShosheman · 24/12/2012 19:12

See in my house that would be me. Dh does the shopping and cooking.

I was sent with a list yesterday and strict instructions to stick to it.

AND tomorrow I have to switch the dinner on ( he has prepared most of it) as he will be working till 6, DS and DDIL are arriving at 6 so we will be eating about 7,

You wouldnt believe I always did it till I married him Xmas Grin

(I did go off the list a bit as well Xmas Grin

headfairy · 24/12/2012 19:02

OMG Megg... I just checked out your profile to see if you had put some pictures of your hilarious shopping and wow, you and your family are gorgeous! Xmas Grin

Love all your shopping, sounds like the crazy stuff dh comes home with on account of it all being discounted. Never mind that it's blooming impossible to make an edible meal out of it!

TittyBojangles · 24/12/2012 18:52

a nomination for classics. Grin

MGgirl · 24/12/2012 18:35

Best post I've read in a very long time.
Happy Christmas to you all !

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 24/12/2012 18:12

This is the best Christmas thread I've read. It's made me cry laughing.

You both sound gorgeous.

Very, very Merry Christmas to you Xmas Grin

Plomino · 24/12/2012 17:58

Oh this is great . Haven't laughed so much for ages .

My DH has done almost the exact opposite . Nipped out for batteries and mayonnaise for prawn cocktails . Came back with the wrong size batteries ( ' I thought you said C's , not D's !' ) and a shitload of prawns . Apparently he just heard the phrase prawn cocktail and improvised . We now have no mayonnaise . At all .

So if I come round yours with the entire North Atlantic's stock of prawns that I now seem to have , we might manage to get a prawn cocktail together between us .

RedToothbrush · 24/12/2012 17:49

Speak for yourselves! My DH wouldn't have a problem with it. He'd be as good as me, without the need for a list.

The only thing he 'fucked up' on this year was he put four bottles of mulled wine in the trolley instead of two (he didn't think he'd put any in when he put the second lot in) and when he realised at the till he was 'too proud' to admit his mistake so bought all four.

He is very much forgiven drunken hiccup

MulledwineGless · 24/12/2012 17:45

Megg am loving the updates

Now waits with baited breath for the stocking fillers

TrillsCarolsOutOfTune · 24/12/2012 17:43

"Men" should never? Hmm

FellowshipOfFestiveFellows · 24/12/2012 17:35

This is why men should never, ever approach a "big" shop solo, or at the very least without a list.

I once sent dp (whom I hasten to add had lived alone for a few years before me) to the supermarket for the shopping when I was ill in bed with a rotten virus. It wasn't Christmas thankfully.

He came back with:

A medium chicken
A box of 6 large eggs
A small bag of spuds
12 lagers.

That was it. For a week's shopping

I always write a comprehensive list now, including what shop to buy it from and in what aisle. I've gone so far as to describe packaging before as well.

strawberrypenguin · 24/12/2012 17:33

Xmas Grin this has made me laugh out loud OP I had to read it out to DH as he thought I was going a bit insane! Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Rupeomatic · 24/12/2012 17:27

Thank you so much for this! Hilarious - have been reading it out to DH and crying with laughter. Fabulous Grin

nkf · 24/12/2012 17:09

He sounds a sweetie and so do you. Have a lovely Christmas.

piprabbit · 24/12/2012 17:01

We sent the DCs to Poundland with a tenner each and told them to bust a gut buying their presents for all the relatives. They had a wonderful time (imagine being let loose in a shop and knowing you can buy anything, and the relatives are certainly going to be getting some Christmas surprises Xmas Grin.

n.b. this is in addition to 'proper' gifts plus homemade truffles.

TheNebulousBoojum · 24/12/2012 16:54

Lovely thread, lovely attitude OP.
Thank you for not being furious and ranty and for making me laugh. Which doesn't often happen to me on a MN/partner thread.
Two words though, for next time. Shopping list. Grin

RedToothbrush · 24/12/2012 16:50

I suppose the next obvious question is

Will you be letting him do the shopping again?