Just had the worst job interview ever. Anyone else care to share?

I once had an early interview & having had no sleep at all due to my cat taking seriously ill in the night & needing a vet hospital dash, so I was in no fit state for an interview, but wanted th job so went anyway.

I made a complete pigs ear of answering questions, mixed up words, mind went blank & even accidentally swore - in the end I stopped the interview & said I am really sorry, I wont waste any more of your time, as I know I am making a complete mess of this, I've had no sleep at all as my Cat had to be rushed into hospital in the middle of the night - turned out I was being interviewed by mad cat woman with 12 cats - I got the job

Should I add the stitches were proper black ones, I looked amazing.

I had an accident the day before an interview. I'd fainted at work and smacked my head on a wooden ledge, leading to stitches in the middle of my forhead - between my eyebrows - and two very fetching black eyes.

I went to the interview intent on letting them know what had happened, but totally forgot through nerves. Right at the end I remember, realised why they were looking at me curiously and blurted out 'I wasn't in a fight honest'.

When I was just 21 an agency sent me to interview for a job as a word processing operator (typing pool by any other name). Without consulting me the agency changed my CV to add

"I've always wanted to be a typist in fact its my dream job"

When asked why this role was my dream job I said "well its not but I know I can do the job and I quite enjoy typing"

I didn't get the job or use that agency again

Tricky job interview after 2nd child. SQUEEZED into 'best interview dress'. Could walk (just) without being too uncomfy. Then the interviewer showed me to the interview sofa. SOFA! No hiding my too-short-too-tight dress behind a desk in a proper chair. Tough to come across as casual and hip whilst looking like an overstuffed powder blue sausage (that hadn't slept for 8 months straight)!

Could have been worse - with nightmare periods and a light blue dress - but luckily the super plus extra plus maxi-maxness pad held out. Still, was majorly distracted throughout. Soaking through would have made a better story though....

I once went to an interview where the owner of the company asked me my star sign...

I said I was a Leo.
So, you're a bit of a tigress are you?
No, I was just born in August.
But I bet you've got claws haven't you. Grrrrrr!

The rest of the interview was in similar vein. At the end, he asked if I has any questions. I said that I hadn't, but that I was very grateful for the interview as it helped to remind me what a company I would never want to work for in a million years looked like. The owner then said he was sorry I didn't want to work for them, but did I fancy a drink sometime!

It was not a UK company.

Worst I did here was to whack myself in the face bending down to fix my tights while putting heels on. By the time I got to the interview 2 hours later I had a fabulous black eye.

Couldn't decide whether to hit the cover-up or try and do eyeshadow to match on the otherside. Also couldn't decide whether to tell them and demonstrate major lack of coordination or stay silent and let them assume I was a victim of assault. I didn't get the job!

I have brown hair BTW. so it wasn't even mine.

I had a job interview at a PR agency. I was then employed as a book publicist and was at the Edinburgh Book Festival looking after authors. I updated my press cuttings file on the floor of the B&B I was staying at, then flew straight down to London for the job interview. The plane was late so I was 2 hours late for the interview. I then chatted animatedly about how good I was and then opened my press cuttings file to see a bloody great GINGER PUBE on the page.

I didn't get the job.

stack that is

I have had the full-on dry mouth, shaking hands, blank mind, impossible nightmare interview for a job I really really wanted. I have not forgiven myself for saying, when they asked what I was reading at the moment, 'Ummm..... Ummmmmm....' and literally not being able to even make something up. Like I could not read. When actually I was reading Scott's letters from the Pole and his son founded the organisation I was applying at and it was a total total gift of a question.

My friend was interviewing someone whose tooth fell out and into a glass of water.

Didn't even make it to the interview stage - I once made an appointment to meet a Recruitment Consultant at a small regional Agency to discuss senior management roles. I arrived, was made to wait for 20 minutes before some spotty herbert (fresh out of school) then apologised that the person I had agreed to meet with couldn't see me for another half an hour "because she wasn't back from lunch yet" but that I needed to complete the typing and computer tests first anyway.

I pointed out that I had over 20 years business experience and had just left a well paid position (ironically in a recruitment role) with a Global Consultancy firm. I mentioned that I wasn't interested in "temp work" or anything that required me to have a WPM score, but I was asked to do the tests anyway. I was so furious I left.

As a new graduate, I attended my first interview for a software development position. So there I am, sitting in front of two senior tech guys. Typical graduate interview ensues - until guy no. 1 asks what had attracted me to software development in the first place.

I tried to explain, only to be interrupted by him: "But you're a woman!"

Obviously, I didn't get the job - but his behaviour did briefly make me consider why indeed I'd want to work in an industry, where such people might be the norm (which, luckily for me, they aren't).

I was once interviewed by a man who had read up on weird interview techniques and asked me to tell him a joke. Honestly my mind went blank and I couldn't remember a single clean joke! I goldfished at him for a minute before confessing that the only joke I could think of was unbelievably rude, he made me tell him anyway, laughed for ages at it and told me I would fit in perfectly! Got the job

Go on Myne I'm curious now

One from the other side of the desk here as a pp said. My brother interviewed a woman and she was really well qualified but a bit of a sheldon cooper. she said to him 'your glasses are awful'. He hired her and got new glasses.

omg!!! lol at borrowing money from the interviewer to get home!!

I once told an interviewer I'd had an STI .

It was years ago and due to my tendency to take things literally (think I'm on the autistic spectrum). I'd had the interview, for a job as a nursing auxiliary, and it'd gone really well - the panel said I was the first person they'd interviewed all day who'd actually understood what the job involved. After the interview my prospective new boss took me back out into the waiting room, asked me to fill out an occupational health form and stood there whilst I did it. The form asked had I ever had to visit a hospital and technically the answer was yes, because whilst I'd never had any operations or anything I'd gone to the GU clinic a few months before, but I knew it might mean had I ever stayed in hospital.

I could kick myself now for being so stupid, I should of course have just put no, but instead I said to this woman that I'd been to the GU clinic and should I put that down? Her answer? 'No. We've all been there, love'. She said it without thinking, I think, and then we were both completely embarrassed and unable to look each other in the eye. I couldn't get out there fast enough and, it goes without saying, didn't get the job.

That's the worst interview I've had, but some others have been not much better (including one out in the middle of nowhere where I left my purse on the bus and had to borrow money off the interviewer to get home).

Form the other side, DH once interviewed a woman who had "National karate champion" written on their CV under hobbies.

What a coincidence! DH is a 2nd Dan black belt and despite a heavy workload still managed to train 2 or 3 times a week this was before DS arrived

So he cheerfully asked her if she still does it. She proudly replied that she can't because of work commitments and how no-one could possibly juggle both. DH is polite but saying he went last night.

Poor woman must have realised it was going to go wrong and he eventually discovered that she'd won a kata competition when she was 12 and hadn't done anymore in over 15 years! Yet still put it down as a hobby

It got worse because she'd blagged her CV to make her role in her previous company sound better than it was...and unfortunately for her, DH knows exactly how the promotions pyramid works in that company because I work there! She did admit that she'd exagerated her CV slightly.

DH was very for her and tried to be as nice as possible, it was just her bad luck to be interviewed by him and not someone else who hadn't a scooby about karate or her previous company...

Fake, where was there a potato on the floor?

Just rememebered one at a very smart private security company. Bloke interviewed me but really just wanted to tell me all about himself and how fab he was, and how the ladies threw themselves at him. he was not in anyway an adonis so I could feel myself starting to laugh inside but clearly he felt he could give George clooney a run for his money. He was awful, even telling me he would not sleep with the staff, so I if i had interviewed expecting that, I would be disappointed.. Just clamped my mouth shut. I was shaking with laughter and he didn't notice. He offered me the job as I was so understanding of his situation. I hardly spoke throughout the interview:)

Blatently marking my place till I'm ready to confess about my interview.

Interview in London for a research position. A large part of the role was being up to date with current affairs. This was before the days of smart phones/twitter and facebook btw.

I spent hours travelling up on train and when I arrived I was greeted by the director who would be interviewing me. He informed me my interview would be delayed and he was surprised I had still attended what with all the events taking place. Literally no idea what he was talking about...

Spent some time watching everyone panicking buzzing around on pcs and phones, staring out of windows at the nearby government buildings and generally being twitchy.

Still no idea...

I then had to convince them I was up to speed on current affairs despite having no fucking idea that the Twin Towers had gone down. I was told part way through the interview.

The speaker was actually talking to someone else in another corner. They both looked so different but for the short height and bold head. :-D

I have another one.

It's not an interview but a networking opportunity. So, after work, I go off to a talk by the institute of which I am a member to a swanky London venue. The talk goes nicely and it was fascinating. The guy doing the talk was a very distinguished person in the field. Old, bold (this is relevant) and not so tall. Nothing distinguished about his looks.

So after the talk there is a networking opportunity, a glass of wine and canapés.

I spot the speaker on his own. I make a beeline to go have a chat. Introduce myself. Say how great the talk was. The guy looks more and more confused. Then I see a light bulb moment happen with him. He say, 'you g lady, I think you think you are talking to the speaker'.
Mortified.
So by then there are 2 or three other blokes in our group, laughing. I've just had a glass and my reaction is to laugh and be embarrassed if that is possible.
I still cringe. Have not told anyone this in rl.

I went for a sales job when I was fresh out of University and anxiously asked the whole way through if it would be a problem if I wasn't very good at selling.

I mean 10/10 for honestly but how did I think that would come across? And then I was so gutted when I didn't get it! It took me a few years to look back and go "Ah, yes, I probably could have played that a bit differently". Yes I am a bit dense like that.