Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Care to join me in my "Great TV shows they should make, but won't" thread? I'll start.

217 replies

lashingsofbingeinghere · 12/11/2012 15:28

"Escape to Cakes in the Attic".

OP posts:
OTheHugeManatee · 12/11/2012 17:58

Grange Hill Street Blues - Schoolchildren take over the police station.

NOThypocondriac · 12/11/2012 17:56

The Apprentice Prime Minister - David Cameron is fired and two groups of Labour vs Conservative MP's have to compete for the job by doing tasks unrelated to the job and that they are completely unsuited to, such as filling in a benefits form or trying to find a good state school for an autistic child.

Pimp My Life - In the pilot episode someone comes along and gives me a housekeeper, nanny and 3 or 4 PA's, a million quid house, my dream job and Daniel Craig. Would be incredibly useless in terms of ratings but I'd be incredibly happy.

TiggyD · 12/11/2012 17:54

Putt Or Die. Imagine Gladiators meets crazy golf.

OTheHugeManatee · 12/11/2012 17:51

Doctor Who Do You Think You Are? - Minor celebrities discover they are descended from shapeshifting lizards. (Presented by David Icke)

HappyHippyChick · 12/11/2012 17:46

Pimp my embarrassing body

KurriKurri · 12/11/2012 17:46

Come Sine With Me - bitching, drunkenness and logarithms.

No Shit Sherlock - Benedict Cumberbatch takes his clothes off and chats about the bleedin' obvious.

TalcAndTurnips · 12/11/2012 17:40

Before He Was Orange - A fascinating look at the early life of pop superstar Peter Andre; from the days when he was merely beige. Having no kids to lavish his love upon, the young Pete becomes overly attached to a variety of inanimate objects - including a coffee percolator, a lawn mower and a traffic bollard.
Episode 6: Pete has a string of sausages surgically implanted into his abdomen, in an attempt to look 'ripped' for his forthcoming 'Mysterious Girl' pop video. He also undergoes testicle ablation to achieve the falsetto whine he became famous for.

Inter Net Cafe - Fishermen gather in a greasy spoon in Aberdeen to discuss what stuff they have dragged out of the ocean that day. With subtitles for the less-than-Scottish.

OTheHugeManatee · 12/11/2012 17:37

I think Pimp My Toddler already exists, doesn't it?

Cuntryfile - Man in wax jacket fronts show about really unpleasant people.

SmellyFartado · 12/11/2012 17:36

One's Coronation Street - reality show set in Buckingham Palace showing the day to day lives of our favourite royals.

Laugh at Philip's 'bloody foreigner' quips
Laugh at the corgis shitting on the expensive antique carpets
Laugh at Charles talking to the plants and questionning if he will ever be King
Laugh at Edward

Original poster
lashingsofbingeinghere · 12/11/2012 17:27

T&T - genius. InternalOrgans-watch. Love it.

OP posts:
TalcAndTurnips · 12/11/2012 17:24

Katie's Fallopians - In an attempt to prop up her flagging and tawdry career, Katie Price reveals a new facet of herself not yet seen. Fibre optic cameras and keyhole surgery provide live coverage; a fascinating insight into her ovaries, fallopian tubes and endrometrium.

Pimp My Toddler - An eye-opening glimpse into the world of American toddler refurbishment. Distinctly average-looking kids are sandblasted, polished and blinged-up to the gills with fakery - before being prodded against their will down a shabby catwalk, forced to gyrate in an overtly inappropriate fashion - whilst being goaded by a baying pack of morbidly obese parents wobbling, clapping and shrieking.

Original poster
lashingsofbingeinghere · 12/11/2012 17:23

oops, buggered up me bolds.

OP posts:
Original poster
lashingsofbingeinghere · 12/11/2012 17:23

MN-ers do not disappoint.

24HourR&D

The team have only a few minutes to discover whether the growth on the petri dish contains a deadly toxin, or is just a bit of harmless mould growing on a fragment of Prawn Salad sandwich.

OP posts:
SmellyFartado · 12/11/2012 17:14

CSI Dorset - detectives try moodily and with lots of soul searching to solve cases of gnome theft, over enthusiastic tree lopping on shared boundaries and Radio 4 being played too loudly.

(apologies to anyone on thread from Dorset - Blush - was the nicest quietest place I could think of)

FellatioNelson · 12/11/2012 17:09

Lauren Goodger Hosts Question Time.

Loobylou222 · 12/11/2012 17:01

The only way is out of here- send them all to the jungle but leave them there!

TalcAndTurnips · 12/11/2012 16:59

Smelly - that desert island idea is genius. Grin The other element would be: NO TV cameras, footage - anything - because we don't give a shit. Just the update after 60 years, that would reveal several clusters of bleached bones scattered across the beach - picked clean by vermin and seabirds.

OTheHugeManatee · 12/11/2012 16:58

My Big Fat Gypsy Masterchef - Fake tanned teenagers go head-to-head over who can bake the largest and most sequinned souffle.

SmellyFartado · 12/11/2012 16:54

Shrieking with laughter at Cooking with Dean Gaffney Grin

OTheHugeManatee · 12/11/2012 16:54

One Born Strictly Come Dancing - Documentary programme showcasing modern rhumbabirthing practices in a Midlands hospital.

ThinkAboutItTomorrow · 12/11/2012 16:54

I'm a cabinet minister get me out of here....clearly we are all really complaining about Nadine Dories largely because it is her and not George Osborne or Gove. Can we volunteer them both for some sick jungle challenge as part of Children In Need?

FellatioNelson · 12/11/2012 16:53

Benefit Scroungers Bake Off

Original poster
lashingsofbingeinghere · 12/11/2012 16:52

Downton Shabby Challenge - poor but well-born toffs compete for an English Heritage grant to re-lead their roofs and build a ha-ha.

OP posts:
TalcAndTurnips · 12/11/2012 16:52

Cooking with Dean Gaffney - Dean shows us how to cook an exciting range of frozen pizzas, oven chips and microwave curries. Tonight's episode includes a handy guide to opening bean tins - and the best way to reheat a takeaway Mushroom Foo Yung.

60 Second Makeover - Interior design gurus attempt to transform a derelict house into a chic family home - all within a minute. A budget of £3.50 adds an extra twist to the challenge. Hosted by Carol Thatcher.

ThinkAboutItTomorrow · 12/11/2012 16:51

The Aprentice on Ice - management speaking idiots with over inflated egos show how to seriously fuck up in business, whilst ice skating?