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Original poster

Care to join me in my "Great TV shows they should make, but won't" thread? I'll start.

217 replies

lashingsofbingeinghere · 12/11/2012 15:28

"Escape to Cakes in the Attic".

OP posts:
MardyBra · 14/11/2012 13:34

How about Cuntdown - the words and numbers game for soft porn stars.
Today: Michelle Bass attempts to rearrange the letters r w c t n o m u to read Octochamp status.

MardyBra · 14/11/2012 13:32

Count me in Fiderer.

Fiderer · 14/11/2012 08:54

I think Talc should be the new DG of the BBC. Shall we start a petition?

OTheHugeManatee · 14/11/2012 08:30

Tap Gear - James, Jeremy and the other one review cars through the medium of dance.

MardyBra · 14/11/2012 08:24

Come Outside (and show us what you're made of) Auntie Mabel and Pippin try out a variety of roles in the security trade.
Episode Three. Pippin is threatened with being put down after losing control and grabbing the bollocks of some unsuspecting punter outside the Chicks'n'Dix nightclub.

MrsGrieves · 14/11/2012 01:26

kurrikurri yours are marvellous, I would watch avidly.

MrsGrieves · 14/11/2012 01:20

How about Cherry does PND, after all of her (who the fuck is she?) random documentaries about childbirth and hair removal, we find her rocking in a corner, and agonising over choice of anti-depressants.

That other one, Dawn Porter, she did a Lesbian thing and a "I will starve myself for a laugh thing" surely she would be up for a "Dawn does Heroin" or a "Dawn is incontinent" laugh fest.

Darkesteyes · 14/11/2012 00:49

Im not as funny as you ladies but they will never make anything where you get a woman above a size 14 playing a romantic lead.

MrsWoodforTrees · 14/11/2012 00:13

Just found this

I'm a Celeriac , Get me Out of Here .

Monty Don , Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall (Dressed up as Cauliflower related foodstuffs ) , An Organic Veg Box and a clutch of reality / little known soap stars are abandoned in an allotment. They have to perform tasks eg pricking out , trimming beans and double digging . The public has to vote for the genuine vegetable & the winner is blanched and served up with a teriyaki sauce before being offered a part (as a finger puppet ) in the reality programme "Made in Etsy"

Countdown

OK I know it has been done but my version is - Strap two crossword addicts into a rocket on a launch pad (with austronaut suits and big gloves . ) Give them one of those space tiny rollerball pens and papers floating round in zero gravity. They have to solve a 24 letter anagram before the 10 , 9 . 8 take off sequence / Otherwise shot into space and the algorithms for getting them back they have to work out from a number piped into the capsule

Monkey Tennis

Alan Partridge said it first but I'd vote for it

JammySplodger · 13/11/2012 19:50

Who Do You Think You Were? In episode one, a Buddist psychic reveals that Brian Sewell was a babboon's arse.

SmellyFartado · 13/11/2012 19:04

I'd pay double my licence fee to see Claire Sweeney in a pool of crocodiles. That fecking 'size aware, shape sure' advert for cruise liner clothing makes me AngryAngryAngry

JammySplodger · 13/11/2012 19:01

Police, Camera, Donut!

TheCrackFox · 13/11/2012 18:52

Celebrity autopsy.

Each week the phone lines will be opened to vote for Britain's favourite Celebrity Autopsy. The first week the public will be able to choose between Alex Reid (sensing a theme here), Jim Davidson or Katie Hopkins to be dissected live on air.

Dick and Dom to present.

TalcAndTurnips · 13/11/2012 18:46

Bitter - no no! Not far enough Grin

TheLightPassenger · 13/11/2012 18:45

Supernanny - celeb special series.

BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger · 13/11/2012 18:38

Did I go too far? Blush

TalcAndTurnips · 13/11/2012 18:34

Excellent. A fan of Sweeney, are you? Confused

JammySplodger · 13/11/2012 18:33

Loose Women Wipeout with extra crocodiles.

BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger · 13/11/2012 18:32

I haven't really thought it through, but it would definitely involve man traps and packs of rabid dogs.

TalcAndTurnips · 13/11/2012 18:31

What happens, Bitter? I'm intrigued.

BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger · 13/11/2012 18:28

Ready Steady Get out of here

Contestants include Claire Sweeny.

TalcAndTurnips · 13/11/2012 18:19

Urban Survivor - Professional tramp Ray Mears lives for six months just off the A1081 in the outskirts of Luton, by scraping dead stuff off the tarmac and rummaging through bins.
Episode 4 - Feast Night: Ray is in for a slap-up banquet when he finds two thirds of a badger decomposing in the gutter - which he roasts in a burning lorry tyre and enjoys with a cheeky cup of pond water.

Paris Hilton In Space - Gormless socialite Hilton has the trip of a lifetime when she is blasted into space in a one-man capsule. However, not all goes to plan when she discovers that the craft - funded by her family, friends and fans - is not equipped with any food, water or oxygen. Or any means to return to Earth.

NicholasTeakozy · 13/11/2012 17:53

Tom's Cruise. A short film about a short man on a boat. Or maybe a tour of the town's public toilets.

Topiary Gear. A show for those who like to sculpt their undergrowth.

TalcAndTurnips · 13/11/2012 17:35

Celebrity Swears - Nine slebs sitting in a 3x3 square box affair, shouting repeated profanities at pensioners for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

MardyBra · 13/11/2012 17:19

I've just found this thread and you had me with the first couple of posts. Shameful place marking to come back to later.

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