My son (19) has just found out I lied to him and he is not happy

I think that's the fastest a thread has been sent to Classics!

So deserves it!!

I haven't laughed so much for ages. DH also ROFL.

19 year old drama, Marty and Welsh whales, and only just discovering about the goldfish.

at your parents CBear!!!!!

My father also told me that if you lift up a newborn calf, and then go back and lift it up every day, in the end you can lift up a cow. Still makes sense to me now.

Loving all the confessions here :o

I've convinced 3yo DS that if he presses the bell on the bus and it's not our stop, the wheels will fall off. He now very solemnly warns the other passengers of the perils of frivolous bell pressing.

When I was a kid I saw something on TV about pigs looking for truffles, I was amazed at these very clever truffle hunting pigs as I presumed truffles = chocolate truffles. My parents did nothing to discourage this belief and I didn't realise the truth until my mid-twenties. I used to watching cooking shows where they'd grate truffles and think 'yuck, chocolate and scrambled eggs?! And you're a chef!?'

My parents also convinced me that it was a good idea to stay in bed after bedtime because there was a witch flying around tapping on windows, if any boys or girls weren't in bed and peeked out the window she would steal them away. They went full on method acting with it too, when I questioned their tale they waited until I was in bed then went into the garden, got the long prop/pole for the washing line and used it to tap on my bedroom window. I screamed and screamed .....

My father told me a story about his colleague. This colleague had a cat, and one day he threw the cat a little distance away from him. The cat came back miaowing for more, so he threw the cat again. Again, the cat seemed to enjoy it.

So over the days he kept throwing the cat further and further, until he could throw it over the roof of the house.

And still the cat kept coming back, miaowing for more.

I believed this story for a long long time - also passed it on to all my friends. I have now told it to my children, and they believe it.

The original post made me laugh out loud... "marty marty marty" made me laugh even louder... and then when I got to "my lovely camel humps" I am now actually crying! Place in classics well deserved here and an excellent cautionary tale for everyone. Amazing! [hgrin]

actually crying!!!! Brilliant!!
Whales... Camels... Dwarfs in cashpoint... Marty Marty Marty - could only be a MN classics thread!!

Tears in my eyes from laughing! I used to tell my sister she was the abandoned offspring of aliens but she never believed me!

Tactical error on your part - when he told you, you should have put on a shocked face and said 'what? The shop lied to me. HOW COULD THEY?'

Moral: if you're going to lie to your kids, never cough to it

I used to work for Lloyds Bank and told DD1 I was the woman who sings on the 'For the Journey' adverts (Just googled and its 'Eliza Aria'). Never thought for a minute she'd believe me.

About 6 months later it was on and she said 'Mum, did you really sing this?'. I felt awful

Dwarves in cash points!

Some of you don't sound safe to be let out alone!

Lots of things on MN make me smile, a few make me chuckle or even occasionally 'guffaw', but nothing has so far made me snort quite so much of my tea as "Marty Marty Marty" [hgrin] That's genius!

And then, whilst not fully recovered from hysterical tea snorting incident, someone comes up with "alrite boyo" and there I go again...

[hgrin] [hgrin]

"My mum told me that dwarves lived in cashpoint machines and gave the money out through the slot. I believed this until I was in my 20s when it dawned on me this would be cruel. I always used to shout thankyou through the slot."

I'm not surprised your son is upset, Kelper. Chip is great, but Dake is just irritating. Such a betrayal. He may never feel able to trust you again.

My mum told me that dwarves lived in cashpoint machines and gave the money out through the slot. I believed this until I was in my 20s when it dawned on me this would be cruel. I always used to shout thankyou through the slot.

Husband also has a favourite toy ' squirrel' from childhood. I had to break it to him it's a toy rat. Undaunted on the day dd was born he presented her with her own toy 'squirrel'. Shame it's clearly a fox. We maintain the pretence to this day as the truth is just too painful. It's an intergenerational cycle of species mistrooths. One day it will all come out

I tell my sister all sorts.

She thinks a burdock is a creature that lives in the wood that has 2 legs and it legs are broke off and bones boiled to make the burdock in dandelion and burdock!

I once told my brother when he was 8 that he was found behind a skip when he was a baby. I got in trouble for that as he believed me and cried for ages.

I had a fish who lived for 16 years - one fish singular! It was an ugly fecker - there was not two fishes that fugly.

My siblings used to fill my head with lots of shite. Real corkers. Topsy and tim go to jail was a favourite book. Tunnels under the house. Make up scars under 12s. I was quite old before I sussed the tunnel one.

But still one fish!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't laugh! I'm only about 14 years away from DS needing to have 'a talk' with me about how I ruined his childhood still debating if I need to speak to him about it or hope he figures it out in time!

Haggii STD. Definitely Haggii, like the Wise Men.

gawd, posted before I got to the camel with the lovely humps and the whale that goes 'alright boyo' now I'm off again

My dad has gone. He laughed at me for not working it out sooner.

I understand how your son feels. I loved fish that weren't even mine. I can never trust anyone again