what is the oddest thing someone has done when you have visited their house?

Ex MIL was massaging ex's feet in the living room before breakfast.

That one didn't last long!

Some of these are breathtaking in their rudeness and selfishness! I have spent a very entertaining couple of days reading through the entire thread, and I although I don't have anything that even comes close to what some of you other mnetters have had to endure, I do have a couple of (fairly tame) stories to add.

First, I have a DB who is a lot older than I am, and when I was still living with my DPs we used to be invited to his house occasionally. My DB was a hoarder (considerably recovered now), and we would have to pick our way around piles and boxes of papers, clothes, rubbish, etc, to find somewhere to sit down. Added to this, because I am so much younger than him, he seemed to think that I was still a small child when I was in my late teens, and so the portions I would get when we ate there were tiny. Basically, one or two small boiled potatoes, a small spoonful of peas, and that runty bit of fish you get at the bottom of economy bags of frozen fish fillets that would just feed a child of five.

Next, I used to be a lodger in a house owned by a young couple who were about the same age as me. Because they were home-owning professionals with degrees and I was a lodger who just had an entry level office job, they assumed that I was a bit thick and needed constant correction and explanation of everything, particularly in the kitchen (he was admittedly a very good cook, but still). I therefore found it really awkward and frustrating trying to prepare food when they were there, which was difficult as it was an open plan kitchen and living area. What made it worse was that they loved entertaining at home, and even though they never said I couldn't go into the room, I couldn't exactly go and make food for myself while my landlord and landlady were having a dinner party, so frequently found myself holed up in my room for the entire evening, having to buy takeaways I couldn't afford, not even being able to get a glass of water (I braved it once, they all went silent and looked at me until I left. It was mortifying). I lived there for a year. I still don't know how I stuck it out that long without slapping the self-satisfied twats.

Just checking to see if there were any new additions to the thread, alas there are none

Not as funny or weird as some of the previous posts but I once got invited round to my friends house for a "cuppa and a catch up"...when I arrived at the time she suggested she wasn't in, only her dh was. Chatted to him for a while then when she arrived home an hour later she said hi then promptly sat at her computer with her back to me reading emails. Even her dh was a bit

He eventually said "erm darling, ducks here...what are you doing?" "Oh reading my emails" "well you could maybe do that later...ducks been here since 6 waiting for you!"

She did then come and acknowledge me, but there was no apology, she seemed confused as to why we were looking at her like this completely odd behaviour for her! Never happened since.

Years ago, my DH visited his best friend and wife for the weekend, along with another friend. At the end of their visit, they were asked to write in their guest book, while the two of them eagerly stood over them watching. DH said their were lots of previous comments including from their parents, thanking the for their hospitality and critiqueing the food etc. all completely serious and they didn't run a guest house/ b&b etc - just their normal home. Very strange!

I once went to a Christmas dinner with my ex's family and friends of his family, whilst staying with a couple where the wife was keen on calling her husband a lazy fat shit (and not in a joking way!).

Cue Christmas dinner where I know all of 3 people out of 12 at the dinner table and not only do I get accosted by two matriarchs asking me to decide which of their gravies was best (henceforth known as gravy-gate and accompanied by death stares and snide comments) but also had to endure another family where the youngest kid had popped a party popper in his mums ear with good intention but probably wasn't the most enjoyable of experiences.

She then began a tirade of "YOU HAVE MADE ME DEAF, I HATE YOU, YOU HAVE RUINED MY CHRISTMAS" (she hadn't gone deaf, as it turns out) and proceeded to weep uncontrollably into her half eaten dinner and Bollinger.

I just say there bemused and commented on the snow outside. Made a quick escape with some very awkward "please get me out of here" looks to exp!

What a fabulous thread! I thought of one to share (though it is relatively tame by comparison).

When visiting NYC with DH (long before the arrival of DD and DS), DH's cousin invited us to dinner at his flat in NJ, overlooking Manhattan, the night before we were due to fly home. He and his wife had a young baby who we met briefly before his bedtime. As soon as their son was in bed, the cousin and his wife started drinking heavily. While dinner was cooking, in the middle of a fairly banal conversation, the wife reached over and gouged a two inch long strip of flesh out of the top of my foot (I was in ballet flats - and I still have a scar) with her fingernail and laughed maniacally. By the time I had mopped up the bleeding in the bathroom, dinner was on the table, so I thought we should stay to eat, even though I was a little peeved at the random assault.

After dinner, DH's cousin's wife passed out on the sofa. DH's cousin brought out the whisky (offered to DH but not to me) and DH declined, saying that we should get a cab soon, as we had to leave our hotel for our flight at 6am the next morning. DH's cousin agreed, then asked us to wait for a moment while he went to the loo, but then he, too, passed out in his bedroom. DH and I began tearing the kitchen / living area apart looking for a phone book to call a cab to get us back to Manhattan while periodically attempting to rouse one of our hosts and worrying that if we couldn't wake them, was it OK to leave them in charge of their (admittedly sleeping) baby.

We couldn't find a phonebook, but after a couple of hours (during which we started seriously discussing whether or not we should phone the airline and change our flights, since things were not looking good), DH managed to rouse his cousin. The cousin insisted on walking us to the ferry terminal, although we pointed out that the last ferry had gone hours earlier, then walked us back to his flat and started to go back to bed. DH physically prevented him from going back to his bedroom and finally got him to call us a cab - which got us back to our hotel with three hours to spare before we had to leave to get home.

It remains one of the most surreal nights of my life.

Arrived at a friend's house (who is from a different culture) and was presented with a pair of slippers at the door.

I had to register and add mine!

I invited an old friend and her DP to my new house for a meal out and a few glasses of wine. They were from down South and it turned out that her DP's brother owned a business locally to us and it was suggested we all go and enjoy the afternoon there prior to our meal.

They arrived hours late and we ended up sitting at this business from 3pm until 11pm, buying overpriced wine and getting drunker and drunker waiting for a free go of the facility the business offered (don't want to give too much away) and being assured that it would be "in the next twenty minutes" for hours. All the while friends DP was busy socialising with family and friends he hadn't seen in ages and my ex DH having to push our meal back half an hour a time until he just gave up.

We finally get a go on the facility and it's the last half hour of the evening with 8 players. I'm already wasted cos I've consumed about three bottles of wine and had nothing to eat. Finally we leave and we manage to convince a local takeaway to stay open for us to eat. As soon as they have eaten the flounce to bed and the next morning are up and out the door at the sparrows fart.

I never felt so used in my life as it was an obvious ploy to gain free accommodation. Needless to say I don't speak to this friend any more!

This thread is priceless and I have very dull family and friends..
Except friend's OH who hovers over us while we eat, often whisks away our plates before we've finished and has been known to mop the patio, after we'd eaten outside (while we were all sitting there). At least friend has the grace to look mortified at his behaviours

Didn't happen to me, but worth repeating.
Friend (age 11) invites classmate over to her house after school. Friend's mother offers classmate a cup of tea. Classmate says "No!"
The next day afternoon the mother of another classmate calls Friend's mother and says "I heard X was offered tea at your house. Please do not offer my daughter tea if she ever goes to your house."
This wasn't in the UK, but still WTF?

I have just read this from start to finish and I can't believe I've come to the end :( ok il add my contribution

We were invited to friends and his gf house for lunch, they didn't ask us to bring anything but we thought we would bring some cupcakes I made. We arrived on time at their house and knocked on the door. The curtains twitched upstairs but no answer, we knocked again, still no reply. We rang friend and he told us he was at the supermarket and would be 10 mins, we asked where his gf was and he hung up knewfullwellshewasupstairsnotanswering--

20 mins later friend turns up with one small bag, he greets us and 3 dcs then invites us in. Gf is nowhere to be seen and he leaves is in living room for half hour while he prepares 'lunch' we are then invited into the kitchen where there is a plate of cheese sandwiches and some crisps in a cereal bowl for 7 of us! He then goes to find gf upstairs toldyou
He comes down no gf and the kids have cleared the plates he left out. He grumbles about all the food going then goes to sit in the living room to read his newspaper!!
We stay a further 5 mins then the gf comes down and asks us to leave as she feels unwell and is upset as the dcs have eaten her out of house and home! We left, took out cupcakes and havnt been back since.

Another time another friend invited us for the weekend. We drove the 2 hour drive and turned up hungry and hot to discover them in the garden. We sat for an hour with them drinking lemonade without offering us anything. I eventually said '' can I get a glass of water?' Female friend said 'of course but not out of the fridge please get tap water, the dog has a sensitive stomach today and the bottled water is his!' This afternoon was followed by a chip shop tea, male friend 'forgot' wallet so we paid, then an evening of watching very long DVD of their wedding (which we attended) then we slept on the sofa withdogwithshits--

*sat

I remember being about 16 and a new friend invited me to stay over. When we got to hers I was almost immediately told to sit and then had to endure what seamed like a lifetime of we renditions of Whitney Housten. She was really beltin out the tuneS right in front of me, i just say there fake smile wanting to die inside!!

I fear my parents are the odd hosts!

I was 17 a student living at home and about to sit down to tea, of fish fingers chips and peas with my parents!

My mum doesn't have a big appetite =makes stingy portions= and so I think we had three fish fingers each.

The doorbell rings, it's some relatives, ie there had been some mix up about a date, my dad was convinced they were due to visit the following week for a meal.

Instead of coming clean and inviting them in and perhaps getting a takeaway and being honest, my mum cuts the 9 fish fingers up to give enough =not= for 6 people.

I got dispatched out to buy some cake!

We've not seen them since

A few years ago I had invited a friend over to lunch and during lunch another woman dropped in who I didn't know very well. I made us all coffee afterwards and I was looking forward to having a chatty afternoon with my friend after the other woman had left. My friend was pregnant with twins at the time and as the other woman got up to go she offered to take my friend home. As my friend would have had a longish walk she accepted the offer. Disappointing but fair enough.

However, some months later this other woman invited me to lunch at her house, and as we were still sitting at table and she started to clear the dishes, she said 'DH can give you a lift home now, Woodmouse'.

I always believed that an invite to a meal in someone's home was part of a longer social function. Not to be treated in isolation as some cafe experience and then expected to leave within minutes!

Maybe I'm wrong though, because I've just remembered that an old lady told me she had once been invited to Christmas dinner at someone's house and was really looking forward to interacting with the family. She was shown into a room on her own, fed, and then taken home afterwards.....

My friend and I have talked about this attitude since and both think it's weird.

I have been to my brothers house a day or two after new year to drop something off (we lived 5 mins from each other), stepped forward to give him a new year kiss & had the door closed in my face because his wife was asleep and I wasn't allowed in. Mortified.

Nooooo this can't be the last one!!

< racks brains to think of something to contribute >

I went to stay with my school friend after she went to Uni in Brighton, she met me at the station with her boyfriend, and said she was really sorry but she had to work that day after all but her boyfriend would entertain me and we would meet up later.

A bit awkward but he turned out to be lovely and very besotted with my friend, so all good. Spend the next day all together and then that night she and I had arranged to see the rocky horror picture show, so far all good, after the show we went clubbing, was all good fun, she suddenly decides she wants to go home, and leaves suddenly, I had checked my coat in at the club so follow her about 10min later once I have claimed it, at her flat her boyfriend has fallen asleep across her doorway obviously waiting for us to get back.
I go into her flat and she has picked up a strange italian guy on her way home and is busy having sex with him in the middle of the lounge were i had been sleeping, I end up hiding in the bathroom.

Eventually they stop and I end up asking what is going on and realise she has been taking something and is completely out of it, Italian guy starts trying it on with me and I end up saying he has to leave as he won't stop pawing at me, which he refuses to do, boyfriend wakes up from his doze on the doorstep and my friend makes out the Italian guy was someone I had picked up.

Boyfriend kicks him out and blames me for putting her in an unsafe situation, my friend just lets me take the rap, and they disappear off to her bedroom.

The next day friend is ignoring me, her boyfriend is giving me disapproving looks and I decide it is time to go home early.
I subsequently realise her drug use is a lot more than I had realised and she is no longer someone I recognise.

We got back in touch years later and she apologised, but it was all a bit late to salvage any friendship

My MIL (lovely if a little odd) served me my wine in a large vase.
Her reasoning that she didnt have any wine glasses

Wouldnt have minded but it was a large vase and she must have sunk the full bottle in it.

And now she thinks I love the vase/glass and im always served wine in it

When I was 17 and very naive, I had a boyfriend who was 14 years old and an absolute wrong un (obviously).

The first time I visited his house we were sat in the dining room drinking wine and he said "When I was tidying up I saw that the video camera was out and I though, 'God what will she think?! She'll think I'm some kind of pervert who wants to film her!' " I laughed nervously and changed the subject but looking back I think that was my in to say "I've always fancied making a home movie...."

Needless to say we aren't still together.

I'm saving this thread for a laugh for later....but in the meantime, I have to share the story of the time I went to stay with my French penpal, with DH. I had been writing to her for about 15 years, but this was the first time I had seen her since the time we met on holiday when we were 12.

We were having dinner with her and her DH, and my friend's uncle and aunt were at the table, too (never met them before - they seemed a nice if quiet couple). The uncle had a slightly weird hairstyle - it was pretty obviously a wig, but not a deliberate one, I mean not like a clown's or anything - just a normal hairstyle and colour. Then after dinner he left the room and came back - without the wig on.

He was as bald and shiny as a billiard ball.

No one else said anything, and the conversation just carried on, and of course DH and I were too polite to comment (how would you say in French 'WTF have you done with your wig?' anyway?). Of course I did not dare catch DH's eye.

After about 10 mins, uncle and aunt burst out laughing, as did my friend and her dh. Apparently this was uncle's regular party trick with guests, just to see how they would react. We saw the funny side (eventually), but I will never forget the 'OMG what do I say?' moment he walked in without that wig.