what is the oddest thing someone has done when you have visited their house?

OMG Twinkle that is beyond awful. I am utterly gobsmacked at that!

Woah Hilly, she sounds barmy!

Just out of interest, when she said "We can crack open some wine" did she actually HAVE any wine with her?

I'm reading this thread worrying that my DD may soon appear on this thread, so I'll get in there first.

At the moment, she is utterly insistent that she and only she may open the front door. There have been a few incidents in which DH or I have instead answered the door and she DD pushed the poor visitors back into the rain and slammed the door, before re-opening the door and shouting 'you can come in now I opened it' to them.

In my defense, she is barely big enough to reach the door handle...

isgreattell me again...

Ok, reverse this - it happened at MY house. My neighbour (who was a close friend) went on holiday and her friend (a single mum) was dog sitting for her. I had met this woman a few times, got on great with her, and our sons knew one another so they had been playing a lot in the garden as it was the school holidays. I felt a bit sorry for her as she didn't drive and we were stuck out in the countryside, she seemed bored stiff and keen to chat, so I invited her in for a coffee one afternoon, and she stayed so long I ended up giving her son dinner.

After she has outstayed her welcome a bit too long, I needed to go out to collect my other child from somewhere about ten miles away, so I told her I needed to go out, hoping she'd leave. She just shrugged and said 'No problem, the boys are happy playing - I'll look after them both and wait for you to get back. We can crack open some wine.

So, not wanting to appear rude, and being a very non-confrontational person, I left her there in my house, and drove off, feeling a bit uneasy and annoyed.

I was gone a fair while and my DH came home from work. He went into the bedroom to take his suit off, had no idea she was in the house, and she just appeared, as if by stealth, in the bedroom and started chatting to him while he was half dressed.

She'd been upstairs for some reason.

He made polite, stilted conversation with her until I got home, she was a cool as a cucumber apparently, not a trace of embarrassment or awkwardness, and then he pulled me aside and said 'WTF?' Mad stalker woman in my room!!!

She didn't leave as I cooked our supper, so we dutifully poured her some wine, and she stayed...gave her some supper (it was difficult not to) and she stayed....by the time she went home we were both in agreement that we thought she was a crazy woman. By the end of the fortnight we KNEW she was.

My friend still does not know he did it- some things are better left unsaid!

sinister duck ha ha what an idiot, that is the most inept come on ever.
MNHubbie bad boy
I went over to a new patients house one day, towards the end of the visit I glanced under the chair to see a handgun.
It was the illegal kind, he seemed a nice enough man but who knows? After some thought I rang the police and they sent the fire arms police in to raid the house. I felt guilty for ages afterwards, silly I know. Once again, I never went back.

My DD (about 18 at the time) was staying at a friends house and in the morning my DD asked her friend could she have a shower, her friend responded with "of course, as long as you have your own soap and towel".

Once went round to someone's house for dinner, with the friends I was staying with. The man took an instant dislike to me and spent the entire evening making really personal comments every time I spoke. Comparing my breasts to fried eggs, that sort of thing (they're not, they're quite nice!). I have NO idea why he took against me or felt the need to let me know so vehemently, I'd only met him that evening and had barely said a word before he began. He went out of the room at one point and his wife said 'Don't mind him, it's just his way' WTAF????

Not a visit, but a male visitor (in fact my good friends boyfriend) came round to give me a lift to the pub to meet my friend and lots of other people who we were out that evening with. Very kind of him.

I was not quite ready and was grouting my face in the bathroom, so asked him to wait.

At the time I had one of those things with lots of blunt metal pins that you can press your hand/face into. Cant think what its called now.

When I came out he had kindly pressed his erect penis into it and showed me the result .

Was this the most inept come-on ever?!

I was bridesmaid for a friend. She arranged pre-wedding treatments a few days before the big day. Drove for over 2 hours to get there. She was out. I was offered no refreshments and her parents spoke ti each other in a language that I don't speak. Friend turned up - still no refreshments offered and I felt too awkward to ask. Treatments done and off I was sent for the 2 hour drive back. Thank goodness for the nearby garage!

It's obviously very sheltered where I live! I once went to visit good friend from school and her new DH, whom I had not met before as I hadn't been able to make the wedding abroad. As she showed me the wedding album and I commented on how well she and bridesmaids looked, he kept going on about how English women are so much better looking than women from N Ireland (she and I both). Then he insisted on talking me through their seven volumes of honeymoon photos. 'that's us beside a lake'. 'that's us on a bus'. I was by this stage just about ready to shoot myself when he started to shout at me for getting some of the photos out of order. I made my excuses and left before dinner.

not at all wondering what it takes to get Lifeisfuckinggreat to come round and visit

Hormones, didn't anyone ask where he'd gone to at the time, or asked him where he'd been when he returned?

Got some corkers from when I did home visits for my medical job. Think my worst one was visiting an elderly gentleman who asked for any spare dirty gloves when I arrived. I was understandably reluctant to give him any because of cross infection and not really understanding why he wanted them. As we got into the appointment he confided that he fantasised about me and saw me as the ultimate dominatrix (I'm six foot tall and can be rather bossy but WTF?). I was speechless as he was in his eighties and I just didn't see it coming. BUT then he got down onto his hands and knees and started to lick my rather muddy boots..it took all the control I could muster not to kick him in the face.
My initial instinct was to give him a bollocking and leave but realised that I would be fulfilling his fantasies by doing that so I politely smiled and left.
Never returned, obviously!
Used to go to a patients house and he used to make me stand outside while he had a wank, and then let me in straight afterwards....My friends think I have some sort of magical appeal to old men.

Did you ever find out, hormones?

It was my DSis's 50th birthday and we had a family gathering at her house.

During the evening, her normally lovely (and excellent host) DH disappeared out of the house and didn't come back until next morning.

He just turned up, didn't say anything - and she didn't bat an eyelid.

The rest of the family were a bit gobsmacked.

XSIL came to visit while I was at work. Decided I hadn't done the kitchen well enough so 'cleaned it for me' . Rearranged all the cupboards and chucked out the Christmas cake I had baked the night before 'because it wasn't iced', chucked out my mincemeat which I only noticed after I had prepared the pastry. Guess who complained that I didn't give her home made mince pies like the year before. .

She is currently punishing me for several things she does not approve of by not speaking to me. [bugrin] bliss.

twinkle That is... breathtaking! How the ... nope I can not at all understand that. Had they never been to any other wedding, ever?

If that happened to us, even just the evening bill, in a place like that we'd have to check out and leave immediately begging my dad to help pay for the cost of our own dinner.

ha ha i was thinking that garlic!

i used to tell friends not to come over to see me as soon as I got home from work as i dont like to speak to anyone for an hour or so, i like to watch tv [busmile] but they used to be there as i got home from work so i used to ignore them for an hour as they just never took the hint. they did say to my XP once about it and he just said oh you know what she's like. ha thanks!

Naahh - My SIL will be on NH.

Is anybody else monitoring this thread in case THEY turn up on it?? [bushock]

DH and I once went to stay with good friend of mine living in France. She was lovely as usual but we barely saw him for the whole weekend. He only got up around 3pm (stoner) and she insisted that we, our kids and hers (age 1, 3,3,and 5) be quiet so that we didn't wake him! It was absolutely freezing cold at the time but we chose to go out all weekend instead. He didn't even get up to say goodbye to us after lunch on the Sunday! Thankfully they are now divorced!

We were invited to a dinner party by a family whose DC I tutored. It was a biggish party of about a dozen guests. After dinner the host showed us a room he had made into a home cinema and invited us to sit and watch a film. This was about 9.30 and the film was almost two hours long (Ransom). We sat in the dark,in silence till the film ended and we sat and sat till after 15 minutes one of the guests switched a light on. We found that our hosts had gone to bed and the whole house was locked up,in darkness with alarms set. There we were 12 strangers trapped in a house near Ilkley Moor on a winter night. Eventually we made a bit of noise shuffling and chatting and the housekeeper appeared from her room,didn't speak,opened the back door and we all slunk off into the night.
The next time I tutored the children I asked the girl to thank her parents for me as we hadn't been able to before we left.
The family was from a non British culture and the girl asked rather nervously if her parents had given us a pleasant evening as they hadn't entertained in this country before. I just said it was lovely and that the food was delicious.