what is the oddest thing someone has done when you have visited their house?

Sorry! A story about our guests instead!

DH's brother (BIL) got married. He & SIL came to visit after DS was born for a few days. BIL was lovely and did the requisite cooing (he was maybe faking, but at least he sounded sincere). SIL looked at DS, said "oh yeah", put the tv on and sat on the couch.

Fair enough, babies aren't for everyone, and they had just driven 500 miles, so benefit of the doubt.

Next day, BIL up, SIL no where to be seen. Finally appears at 1pm(!) and I know she'd been up before then as their room was above huge living room. She then came down - we were all chatting quietly as I was feeding DS, again stuck the tv on quite loudly and sat there; she only said "I'm starving, get me some food" to BIL - having ignored me ask her twice before if she wanted some lunch. She then informed us she wanted to go to the pub and left, dragging a slightly embarrassed BIL with her.

She was quite ill when they returned - woke us and DS repeatedly. this then ruined the next days plans as she had "eaten something that disagreed with her" and spent all of the next day in bed. And repeat.

I did ask BIL if we'd done something to offend her - but he was as baffled as we were.

They haven't been back since, and the contact between DH and BIL is dwindling. Her Facebook (I know!) is full of nights out and throwing up - and BIL is never mentioned. Feel quite sorry for her really.

I used to be a real estate journalist - I went out with a photographer to write about houses, so had a lot of bad, bad experiences.

People in bed was almost a weekly occurrence, as was people expecting us to clean up their homes (usually grotty, cluttered kitchens) before we took the photos.

We also had a few drug houses, where we were expected to overlook the smashed in doors, windows and wires leading into the roof.

But the WORST was when a man insisted on showing me his converted roofspace, which he had soundproofed, painted black, put bars on the tiny window and pinned a single red rose to the wall.
Scary scary scary.

A colleague swears that she once went to a house where the previous tenants had kept a horse in the house. Apparently, they had not paid their agistment and had nowhere else to put it .

When we were looking round student houses, we went to view one and the one bedroom had the girl who lived there and her boyfriend in bed whilst we were looking. The landlady ushered us al in to see the room with them in it [buconfused]

It's now my room [bugrin] Although I did have a new bed put in!

I went round to a friends for tea, she made toad in the hole, then asked if I wanted gravy. I said yes, so she crumbled a stock cube into a pint of water and poured it over my plate until everything was floating, then asked if it was okay, as she didn't like gravy so wasn't sure how to make it. Was the soggiest, saltiest meal I've ever eaten.

Went on a sleepover where they basically wouldn't let me go home until the next evening, so was basically with them for about 36 hours, during which time I helped wash their car, change their beds, do housework, watch whilst the others did their homework and generally spent hours doing nothing. Put me off sleepovers for a long, long time.

Went on a different sleepover when I was about 16, we were all drinking and the host parents went away for the night, leaving their 6 year old daughter in the sole charge of a group of drunken 16 year olds. I ended up putting her to bed and reading her stories for hours

Ooh, classics. Quite right too, this is a brilliant thread:)

Wow, some of these stories are totally shocking and MIL not making us lunch whenever we stay there seems practically normal now.

My only other story is when we went to visit a couple of DH's friends from Uni who shared a flat. We'd been promised that the bloke would stay with his girlfriend so we could stay in his double bed. When we arrived he did go to stat with his girlfriend, but refused to let us sleep in the bed, or even on the floor in his room. DH and I had to sleep down the side of his other friend'sbed. There was literally only enough room for us to lie on our sides crammed up against each other.

DH's normal friend was totally mortified and apologised profusely. The annoying thing was that we had offered to book into a B & B as we knew the flat was tiny, but both of them had said not to. It was very late when we arrived so couldn't have then tried to book one.

That particular friend was very selfish and ate both his own and another friend's breakfast after a wedding. The other friend had gone to get the Sunday papers for us all. Rude friend had seconds while the other friend got none!!

Finally at the end done nothing tonight thanks to this thread but haven't laughed s much in a long time just what the doctor ordered!

marks place(first time on mumsnet)

Great thread! DH & I were invited to stay with friends at her dad's house. Whilst there the dad told us how he had hidden cameras installed in the downstairs rooms because of all the valuable stuff in the house - cue "amusing" anecdote about him having inadvertently filmed friends of his daughter shagging on the living room sofa.

Months later friend let slip that the cameras were installed in ALL rooms including guest bedrooms ... Fortunately we'd had our suspicions & had got changed for bed under the duvet with the lights out & didnt lay a finger on each other all night!

My sister and I live in the same county and had an aunt and uncle visiting - with a reputation for eccentricity but neither of us had seen it before.

They came to my house first, had a great time walking on the beach. I was 4m PG and they took my other two out for an hour to the local park so I could have a rest. Gems! I reported as such back to my sister.

A couple of days later I asked her how her visit had gone. The aunt and uncle discussed with Dsis about plans for the rest of the time - Sis said she was busy that evening with a recital by her Alevel Drama students. "Oh that sounds interesting!" they exclaimed and invited themselves and actually went along to the unintelligible performances in the school hall. When Sis was discussing food in the evening, Aunt and Uncle said she was welcome to the caravan if she brought her own mug. BIL suggested fish and chips, and aunt and uncle agreed that it was probably best that he ordered himself fish and chips for himself as he wasnt invited to the caravan. Dsis and BIL had been married 6m and together for almost a decade!

I'm only at page 3, this is brilliant!

Went to visit my friend at her new house. She has 3. Baby is younger than DS who was 2 at the time. Hands out packets of crisps to all the kids. When DS spilled his crisps all over the floor I apologized and did the logical, reasonable thing which was to start picking them up. She told me to stop and leave them there, strewn all over her living room, as her kids would just pick them up when they were hungry...

aw that's OCD LeQueen. They know they're being weird but they can't help it. Meds!

The first time I met MIL she called me by the wrong name the whole weekend (ex-gf)! Other than that she was lovely.

At the end she seemed to twig, called me by the correct name and then said "Oh silly me, it's not ScorpionQueen at all is it? It's ex-gf!"

15 years later we can laugh about it.

I had a cleaning firm in last week to help with some stuff. I made them both a cup of tea about 5 minutes after their arrival. The guy was already at work, sleeves rolled up, doing the downstairs. The girl was supposed to be doing the upstairs. I went to take her tea to her, only to find her in the en suite to DS2's bedroom, door wide open, having a massive dump.

I was very British about it, and just said, "I'll leave your tea out here then, shall I?"

Milngavie my dm does that too, it's either that or her bowels. In fact she did it today after I cooked her a lovely roast. 'Darkside do you have any wipes? I think something may not have agreed with me'
Oh and then she came down stairs and informed me that she wasn't able to wear her knickers now, because of 'that
Oddly enough she never seems to have any trouble in her own house. she is odd my dm.

[bugrin]

A few Christmases ago Dh and I went to hi parents for Christmas dinner. All his siblings were there and the table looked lovely. MIL was buzzing about cooking and everyone was doing their bit to help.

The starters were on the table, we had all tucked in and complemented MIL when she stood up and left the table.

She returned a while later and announced that she'd just been sick!! Lovely. She went on to say it was the stress of cooking for all of us and then spent the rest of the afternoon sitting like a dying duck in a thunder storm.

My SIL refused to let DH use the loo at their house and ordered us to leave. Now.

At my other ILs house, we were invited for tea one night in the week before Xmas and arrived (DH, pg me, DSis and DS, 3yo) at the agreed time of about 5 to find SIL looking after their DCs (2yo and 10mo) in the living room and DBIL outside chainsawing wood, no heating on, no food nothing.

No mention was ever made of food, but we were all hospitably offered pints and pints of orange squash. At 7pm we gave up and made our excuses, as we were all starving and DS was getting flaky and tired. At this point, DH and BIL's parents and SIL's parents arrived for tea, and were similarly nonplussed at lack of other drinks and unfed grandchildren. We left as SIL's mum was making toast for the DNs, drove the half hour home, dealt with starving DS (more toast) and phoned for a curry for the adults.

It has never been mentioned since but I think in retrospect that they had forgotten about inviting us and were just being terribly polite and pleased to see us, but had nothing in to feed us with. I think. I expect they still talk about the time we just landed on their doorstep and drank all their squash.

Oh and there was also the time that I first met my then boyfriend's mother - unfortunately she was laid out in her coffin in the living room at the time :(

Not at someone's house but sil lived with us for a few months, in that time she bought a loaf of bread and some cheese, paid no rent and expected us to run around after her! On one occasion ibwas sent home from work very ill, turned into proper flu as it happened and as I got in, literally fell onto the sofa, crying with pain (I don't do this ever, not even in labour) she says oh good I'm glad you're home, what's for tea? (it was about 8pm, I worked shifts)!

That was the final straw and put she went!

what a fruitloop, Flyingspag! How could anyone have that much dirty laundry??

this is not a story about being a guest, but about having one. I had recently met a new mom in the neighborhood and she seemed pleasant, though going through a tough time after splitting up with her husband. she mentioned she had no washing machine in her condo and was having to hand launder everything as she couldn't drive to the laundrette... so I casually offered she could come over at the weekend and use my machine while the kids played.

she showed up at 9am, dropped off by her mother and bearing huge laundry baskets. her and the mother then proceeded to make several journeys back to the car for sack after sack of dirty clothes, towels and bedding. I was gobsmacked. she filled my machine repeatedly throughout the day, showing no signs of leaving at tea time so I ordered chinese for us all. at 8pm I said it was the kids bedtime... she said "right kids, here are your pjs (out of the washing), you can share with flying's kids"... I was gobsmacked as she informed me she hadn't finished her washing so she would just sleep over and get it done since my husband was away. she only lived a few blocks away so no reason she had to stay!

next morning I came down to find her still washing... she had been up every hour all night to reload the machine. she got bored and reorganized all my kitchen drawers!!!

she didn't leave until evening, when my husband was back and rather grumpy to find a stranger and her kids all over the house covered in her laundry... she had managed to do 34 wash loads and still hadn't finished... she tried to get to stay another night and was most put out when dh drive her home on the promise that we would finish her remaining laundry.

I am still amazed now that anyone could think that was acceptable, but she is the sort of person who always assumes you will pay for everything, drive her anywhere (she once asked me to drive her 6 hours away to another state to grrr her kids from her ex who was being a git about returning them)... I have had to learn to say 'no' a lot...

oh, she also invited me our for lunch, her treat since I always paid and it was my birthday. so I picked her up, drove to the restaurant where we both had a main and a dessert even though I said I didnt really want one... at the end she passed the bill to me and said 'don't forget, next time it is on me for your birthday... I don't have any money till next week'... the woman is a crazy leech...

I have just thought of another one.
My then best friend had a row with her husband and he had walked out in a strop to stay with a mate so she rang me in a state asking me to go over (this was pre-dd) which I duly did, armed with vodka, chocolate and fags.
We got very very drunk and went to bed, in her bed as it was a one bedroom flat, and we had shared a bed many times before so I was not unduly worried.

However, this time she decided to try and seduce me. Now I am no prude and I have done my share of experimenting but she was like a sister to me so I was not in the least bit interested. I literally had to fight her off and barricade myself in her living room until I had sobered up enough to drive home.
THEN, she rang me and proceeded to tell me how much she 'wanted' me. This was someone I had lived with for 4 years and thought I knew really really well. Seriously I had no inkling that she felt like that about women, let alone me, not that her being a lesbian would have been in any way a problem, it just wasn't for me.
The next thing I knew she had left her husband for a woman she had met at work.

A friend from work stole my pedestal mat...and then slipped it into my desk drawer a week later without telling me anything about it. He confessed years later that he'd been sick on it but because he fancied me didn't want me to know so he'd taken it home to wash.

Oh no, have come to the end! More please!