what is the oddest thing someone has done when you have visited their house?

I am still laughing at 'I knew you would be big'

think that'll be my secret in-joke for the week. I will slip it innocuously into conversation whenever possible and have a private inward chuckle.

Probably not something you ever wanted to know about your boss

Arf!

Your boss is a trooper!!!

I am going for dinner in about half an hour - will you put me out of my misery give the next instalment by then?

I will go to my special place to cry and come back.

Gin

I am squirming now and it was never mentioned by my boss.

Thank god!

I shall recover from the squirming and when I recover I will tell you the story of when I went to her place.

[sobs harder]

I am squirming for you now and I am only reading it on a forum!!!

How was work the next monday? Do you still work with him? How many apologies did you give?

Gin

Yep - how we laughed....................................the wife was sooooooo happy.

Think

Redrubyshoes - saved the best titbit for last! Would have loved to see his and her face!!!!!!!!

I would love an invite to your next Burns Night provided she isn't there and I get the goose down quilt

His wife was sitting opposite him. I forgot to add that.

Thanks Redrubyshoes you are a master of suspense - nextnext!

Would have loved to see the look on your bosses face!!!!!

this lady is priceless but I can see why she is divorced.

I want to hear what happened next at her place!

Very long! Sorry!

Ok Gin

Just for you but this happened at my house with her as a guest.

Ex-friend turned up on the Friday night as invited with a huge load of luggage and a fan heater. I was fine with the luggage but by the fan heater. It was January but we live in a largish house with very good central heating and a log fire. On her bed was a double goose down quilt and a patchwork counterpane. Double cozy.

She was recently divorced and wanted to go out. Fine. We went to a little local pub and had a few drinks and then she got chatting to a couple of very young guys. We were in our forties and they were about 21/22.

She threw a HUGE hissy fit because I wouldn't invite them back to my house. My DP was there. I didn't want strange drunken blokes in my house and no I didn't want to try their drugs. I love my DP and was not interested in any bloke never mind one that I would iron Paddington jim-jams for!

She then went to bed and plugged in the fan heater. I said that the house was warm enough and did she need it? She replied that she needed it for the noise and she couldn't sleep without it and it 'only' cost three pounds a night in electricity.

The next night (and the real reason she came down for) was a Burns Night Supper for fourteen people. Four courses and crystal glasses and white tableclothes.

Get the picture?

She got horrendously drunk before 7pm and as the guests arrived she decided that each and everyone hated her. I tried to soothe her and told her it was not so.

During the starter she went upstairs and packed her bags. She was drunk "and was leaving beacuse we all hated her".

I persuaded her to stay (as there was no way she was fit to drive).

The dinner was timed to perfection and the haggis was aflaming and the toastmaster was standing ready with dirk raised (Scots MNers will understand the importance of this). I was just about to pipe in the haggis (three of them) when her phone rang. She stood in the sitting room for fifteen minutes complaining loudly to her mum about me while the haggis died and the food went cold.

The table was silent as I served and the toastmaster lost his voice and we sat in slience.

She then placed her foot very firmly in the crotch of my boss and told him "I knew you would be big".

I wish I could laugh now.

I went to her place next. It got worse there.

Another one waiti.g for rrs and laughing at ham or cheese or ham and cheese :O

Redruby have you finished sobbing yet?

plate, not place.

The one and only other time we have eaten at mad BIL and SILs house, we were invited for Sunday tea. Now bearing in mind they've been copiously and generaously fed at my house frequently over the years, and a 'tea' would always involving various homemade things, plus a trip to M&S for a nice special buffet selection of hot canapes, trifle, cake, you get the picture....

when it was their turn to host for once we all had to sit up at the table and were given a plate each, and then they brought out a place of....sandwiches. Plain ham. Or plain cheese. And for the adventurous, there was ham and cheese. And one small pudding bowl of ready salted crisps, for four adult and three quite big children. And that was it.

I felt like I had stumbled into a particularly frugal birthday party for five year olds.

yesyesyes

I went to stay with a now ex- college friend and her DH (boy the stories I could tell about her - you would close your jaw using your hand) in her beautiful thatched cottage in the country.

They had two double bedrooms each with a double bed and I (stupidly) assumed I would be in their spare room and put my bag in it. She removed said bag and put it downstairs.

I had to sleep on the sofa and share it with the labrador and the cocker spaniel.

My friend and her DH slept separately in the double beds.

I ended up on the rug by the fire having given up fighting the dogs for space.

I didn't learn my lesson and even went back another time.

(Call me numpty and put a bow on me)

I shall take my head out of my hands and tell you about when she came to stay with me.........................when I stop sobbing at the memory.

SB, I had an anorexic SIL, who was an extremely good cook & hostess but couldn't help slagging off our high-calorie diet while we were at their house, served tiny portions and wouldn't allow her children anything remotely fattening. After we hit on the brilliant idea of going to the Little Chef on the way to her house, we were able to eat 'approved' amounts and visits were much less stressful

One of my SILs law always starves us, DCs don't worry anymore as they know there's a fast food place down the road that we've had to take them to a couple of times.

reshetima at least you got the dining room experience.

A while ago me, OH and DDs were invited to a friend's for tea.
Where I come from tea is your big meal at 6 o'clock.
Err we got a piece of apple tart.
Host had meant "high tea". We went home with tummy's a-rumbling.

Same BIL and SIL again. Sorry, but I'm on a roll now.

We went there for a family lunch once (extremely rare, only been to their house about four times in 20 years and SIL is a very fussy/plain eater, so entertaining and feeding people just completely flummoxes her.) BIL decided to make a big lasagne and salad, which was perfectly acceptable, but then as we sat down in the garden to eat our lasagne they fired up the barbecue to cook SIL a sirloin steak.

This reminds me of being invited to lunch at newly married home of a university friend of DH an hour's drive away. After sitting nearly an hour in their freezing living room hearing pans being clattered in the background we were summoned into the dining room to be served half a tin of tomato soup each with roll. That's it. We got the hint: we invited them back out of politeness, but mutual excuses were made to, I assume, mutual relief!