what is the oddest thing someone has done when you have visited their house?

Yep afaik. Tbh as I said friendship completely fell by the wayside as I never felt comfortable in her house again. Her mother still lives a couple of doors from mine and they split a few years later. Not sure if it’s because she had an inkling that her husband was a potential paedophile or just that he was a mammoth creep which was no secret. Former BF, would have a quick chat if we met on our parents road but that would be it.

Mary went to a different secondary school so I haven’t seen her in a very long time. But would you believe I was only speaking to my mam about her a few years ago reminiscing about primary school and people locally. Goes to show a child’s perspective on it. My mam said the father was cripplingly shy and suffered terribly with his nerves (hence the chain smoking and tea) so was likely he didn’t know what the hell to say to a group of ten year old girls. She said in more recent years she’d stop to talk to him and the wife and they were a lovely couple. In the locking away the deep fat fryer, she’s convinced they did it for safety, that they were death traps in the 80s and her father was unemployed for a long time during the 80s so was probably just really careful around food. Mary if I remember rightly went on to become a teacher and is happily married

O.M.G
Is that man still alive, do you know?
What happened to Mary?

Great thread, have amused myself the last few days reading along. Some of the responses are wild. I have two I can think of off the top of my head.

When I was maybe 9/10 I was invited to a class mate, Marys birthday party (would have been the mid-late 80's). She was a lovely girl but her parents were just strange so she was a bit of an outcast because of them. They father used to wear this scruffy duffle coat even in the height of summer and had this mad bushy beard and they all wore very obviously handmade clothes. In hindsight it was because they (as well as most people in our working class estate) were dirt poor but it just made her different. Anyway I digress, I didn't particularly want to go to the party but she'd been invited and came to mine so my mum insisted as it was good manners. Arrive at the house to approx 12 other female classmates sitting in her sitting room. Mary, her mam and sisters spent the next maybe hour in the kitchen preparing the birthday tea while we sat in silence in the sitting room with her father while he chain smoked and watched TV. He didnt use an ash tray just tapped his cigarette onto the fireplace and had a kettle, mug and the makings of tea on a table beside him so just made cup after cup never moving from his seat. The living room was absolutely chock to the brim with junk and there were hooks all around the living room walls with clothes hanging from them. I just remember us all sitting around afraid to utter a word and the father just sitting there ignoring us. Finally after what seemed an eternity were were allowed into the kitchen for the tea, which was i remember absolutely beautiful, an abundance of homemade cakes and treats. We ate our fills and were sent home. No games, playing, just a nice tea. As I said nice girl but it was so strange and unlike any other party Id ever been to. I also remember it was Christmas time, because she didnt have a Christmas tree (they were catholic so assume they couldn't fit it in between all the junk or couldn't afford one) and I remember after Christmas break we came back to school and were discussing gifts and what we'd been up to etc. Mary told us that her dad had bought them a deep fat fryer but only he was allowed use it so it was locked into a press that only he had the key to. This was along with the lock on the fridge and the press where the food was kept. She told us about it very manner of fact as she obviously believed that it was normal that her father controlled all food access in their home

Another one, I had a BF growing up who lived a few doors away from me. Every weekend her parents would go to the pub and she would babysit her younger siblings. I would often stay the night to keep her company. I would stay in her room and her little sister would bunk in with the boys. For whatever reason, this night her siblings were unsettled so she ended up staying with them and I was in her room alone asleep in the top bunk. I awake to hear her parents having a very loud argument somewhere outside the room and her father then comes into the bedroom I'm in and gets into the bottom bunk. A while later I hear (no lights its pitch dark) her father stand up from the bed and ask me if Im awake and if I want to get into the bottom bunk with him to keep him warm. I just remember being absolutely petrified and squeaking no I was OK. He told me nothing had happened and I didnt need to tell anyone he'd asked. I dont think I slept the rest of the night. I never stayed again (made some excuses every time I was asked) avoided her father like the plague and the friendship fell to the wayside. I never told anyone at the time, a combination of what do I say, would anyone believe me and nothing actually happened and I was afraid that Id get into trouble for making up stories or telling tales. The only person I've ever told IRL was DH but I still feel ill when I think about it. And I always wonder at BFs mother too and how she felt it was appropriate to let her husband sleep in the same room as a 12/13 yo girl.

I can't believe that this thread has been going for 12 years!!

Is this a record?

And some of the stories - the gobsmackingness of them stands the test of time!

A mum friend invited me round one afternoon.

She offered me coffee when I arrived, which I accepted. She made herself one from the Tassimo machine and gave me instant, saying 'English people don't like proper coffee' (she was from Portugal).

A while later she asks if I'd like a glass of wine. I accept. She hands it to me saying 'It's the wine I use for cooking'. She didn't have a glass. It tasted fine so I don't know why she mentioned it.

As soon as she'd handed me the wine, she fucked off to clean the bathroom for the next hour, leaving me sat alone in her living room watching the telly. I eventually got up and left.

I no longer speak to her. I was a SAHM at the time and she turned out to be one of those parents who thought it was my civic duty to look after her child while she worked, because I didn't.

Anyway, there are some horror stories on here, alright!

When I was a teenager, I used to help my dad's decorator friend, at weekends and during the school holidays. I was full time for a while, at 16.

We went to a house and when the woman let us in, there were two Scottie dogs and dogshit everywhere. I mean, you almost couldn't put your foot down, without treading on a turd. The stench was absolutely unbelievable.

As we had to put dust sheets down and sand the skirting boards, he got me to pick all the shit up with a coal shovel. I think I filled 2 or 3 black bags.... The carpets were completely drenched in piss and I had to kneel down and lie down, to get at the skirtings.

I've rarely been so miserable. In the van, on the way home, I said, "Mick, I'm not going back there tomorrow." He said, "No chance - I'll just fuck her off." I asked why he'd taken the job (he had to go in to do an estimate) and he said that he'd assumed she would clean up.

The funny thing was, she was well dressed and had nice furniture, ornaments, paintings on the wall, very middle class.

Wormwoodgal · 23/08/2020 20:16

After the meal it was time to sing for our supper - the rule in Kazakhstan is that everyone entertains everyone else after dinner. An electronic keyboard was produced (luckily DH could play) and we tried many and various songs to see what our host recognised. At last we discovered the universal language of The Beatles, and serenaded our hosts with the Fab Four's greates hits.

My wife's Kazakh and I wouldn't say it's a rule! Her family are all Beatles mad, too, all ages. We've just had a nephew and niece visiting and he played a lot of Beatles tunes on the piano and wife's guitar.

Did you go to Kok Tebe and see this?

www.flickr.com/photos/48541674@N00/1350048650/in/dateposted/

I had my first casual boyfriend age 17, we were part of a large friendship group and he had been absent from college for a few days. This was before the days of mobiles/ texting.

His mum called me and said he was sick with glandular fever and did I and his BFF want to come and visit him. We said yes of course, went to his house and was greeted at the door by his mum and told to go to his room. There he was laid in bed with his DSIS, DF, DGM and various random family members I had never seen before holding a vigil around him. We sat there in silence with them for 3 hours while they held his hand before getting the nerve to say we needed to catch the bus home.

Friend invited myself and another friend to her house one evening for a wine.

We hadn’t been before to the house.
There was nowhere to sit due to the copious volumes of clutter on every surface/chair/seat.
Brought s bottle of wine with me. Turns out she doesn’t actually drink.
So no glasses offered and no alternative drink offered.
TV on in the background.
As we chatted, her husband apparently couldn’t hear the Simpsons which was on in the background due to our chatting, so ramped up the volume so loud we could no longer have a conversation.
Host friend proceeded to just turn away from her 2 guests to watch the Simpsons with her husband.

I left. Friend number 2 came with me.
Fucking ignorant weirdos.

Rather than different foods for adults and children, a lot of my older relatives gave men bigger portions than women so my dad and uncles would get 2 sausage rolls and my mother, me and my sister only got one.

We were at elderly MiLs recently and she still did this - there were 2 extra bits of chicken left in the dish so she didn't even ask who would like an extra one, just automatically gave it to OH and his dad.

The different food for adults and kids reminded me...
family of 5 kids who were neighbours and frenemies. I was invited by the girl my age to stay for tea.
We sneaked into the garden to watch the parents sit down to a huge steak each and all the trimmings at a beautifully laid table.
Each of the kids were allowed one slice of dry bread and 20 (yep they were counted out) raisins whilst standing in the kitchen. Kids policed once another carefully over the allotted amount.

I went home for tea as I hate raisins!

As adults the kids are all very screwed up unsurprisingly.

I know this is a MN classic but I've just discovered it (and laughed like a drain!!)

My worst things...

As a teenager, going round to a school friend's house supposedly for a 'takeaway tea'. The mum ordered fish and chips for everyone but then served me a bowl with two boiled onions she had just cooked for me. She thought she was doing me a favour because last time I'd been there, I had casually mentioned I had a couple of pounds to lose.

Visiting family friends for a weekend who had a young DS with SEN. In the morning they served porridge for breakfast but the DS had a ritual where he liked to go round the room and rest his palm on the top of everyone's cooling porridge. It was his way of 'blessing' the food apparently and he'd get very upset if he wasn't allowed to do it. No one questioned this! His hand was not clean. I've never really been able to eat porridge since!

I had a mum friend when the children were small that we used to visit as she had a huge (and filthy) ancient house, acres of garden and fantastic toys, so the children loved visiting. We were in the kitchen and she was changing her baby’s nappy on the kitchen drainer and used the sink rag to clean his bottom then rinsed it and wiped her toddler’s face!
The highchair had so much crusty food stuck to it you couldn’t actually see the wood any more, and as she was on baby number four it might well have been properly ancient crust.
Her husband used to come to the kitchen window and beg for cake and she would cut him a slab and give it him out the window, and then he would wander off again.

@whatsallthefuss I proper belly laughed at that. And he is clearly a keeper!

Went to stay with my now SIL and husband.Five hour drive to get to them. They had got back from a run 1 minute before we arrived so were covered in sweat. They had drinks at strictly timetabled intervals so no drink for us until their next one in an houŕ. They went off upstairs to have a bath. Not together thankfully. Their system was to put 2" of water in the bath ( permanent black line drawn). The one who like it hot got in first. The other went in after. Left us downstairs. Now I would just laugh and go and make myself a drink but had only met her once then and she's 20 years older than me...and it was her house. My husband has never suggested going to stay there again. If we meet up with his siblings we always meet in a hotel now.

That might be the least of her issues, that woman sounds insane!

After enjoying our meal together...sister in laws Started doing the washing up and really scrubbing my sink, wiping it etc afterwards. Thanks love I thought my house was clean.

this is nothing compared to some of these.

Me and my sisters went to our mothers for dinner one day.
I found what appeared to be an insect leg in my mashed potato.

My sister went on to found the body, and everyone else ended up with parts of it too in their potatoes. totally gross.

Mum was really offended when we told her we couldn't eat it.

I've just lost the best part of a day to this thread:)

Weirdest one I had was got invited with four other couples to friends house for dinner. Walked in the door and the first thing the host said was that she was off her tits on valium. Her husband appears who is even more off his tits. They ordered in curry (no issue with that, and they paid for it although we would all have been happy to chip in). The delivery was delayed, it would be fair to see we were all well oiled by the time the food turned up. Sat down at an impeccably set dining table, five minutes later both of them are asleep in their plates.

Between us we cleaned them up and got them safely into bed, and had a party in their bar at the end of the garden. Took it in turns to watch they didn't choke on their vomit.

The worst one was a wedding in Highgate School, a beautiful wooden panelled 19th century room, this was in the days when you could smoke inside, there were NO SMOKING signs everywhere, understandably. A uni friends hideous girlfriend sparked up during the starters, the staff, and the table told her to put it out, so she did, in the butter dish, and then went round the table poking her fag end in everyones starter. She then flounced out and fell down the staircase. I have never seen anything like it.

When my DC were young I was invited on a play date. I went to go and sit on the sofa and she told me to get off as that's where her dog sat. I spent the playdate sitting on the floor and her dog on the sofa. I didn't go back.

This one was very recent. Went to my friends birthday bash at her home. Her mother came downstairs. Friend grabbed her mother from behind and began swinging her around the room as if she was a tag doll (pretty big size difference between mother and daughter) mother clearly was uncomfortable but friend kept screaming "she loves it when I do this" most guests left after this

This is so incredibly weird!

Not when I visited their house, but for some inexplicable reason, my neighbour’s dog was wondering the street.
Our houses are in a U shape with all of the rear gardens facing a communal space, so I knew their dog as my kids had played with her in the communal space, I wouldn’t know them if I passed them in the street. All I know is that’s a professional woman and her grown up daughter, based on seeing them come and go.
Anyway, the dog, Molly, was wondering around at the front of our houses so I took her home. The door was wide open and I called in, knocked etc, as I didn’t want to just wonder into their house. It was obvious that no one was home.
The hallway was full of dog poo. Really gross!! I know the family come home every day because I see them cooking dinner in the kitchen when I walk my dog past their house every evening.
really gross, and definitely not just one days worth of dog doo!! Completely baffling!

Not a nice story.
I was at a friends house (I was 11 or 12) friend's Mum was sitting at the head of the small table, Father to the left of her. Suddenly friends fathers hand shot across the table and grabbed her mothers tummy, hard. She squealed and he laughed and said I was waiting for you to relax that.
It was awful, she had a few tummy rolls and he held on hard. Horrid man, I was in a state of shock.
I remember going home and telling my mother and her saying he was a right bastard. I was shocked again as she never swore.

Love this thread!
3 years ago my best friend was hosting a BBQ. I'd gone round early to help her. When I arrived she was cutting an enormous, crumbly worming tablet for her dog into pieces on a chopping board, stuffing the bits into pieces of cheese for her dog to take. She then simply shook the wormer dust from chopping board over the sink and wiped the knife off with kitchen paper and proceeded to use the same side of the chopping board and the same knife to cut up fruit for the Pimms. There was still very obviously worming tablet residue on the chopping board. I did ask her if it were perhaps wiser to use the other side of the board and she said that I was being a bit precious. I love Pimms, but I couldn't quite bring myself to have a Pimms and Droncit chaser that evening.

I know I'm resurrecting a zombie here, but after the update most of the threads on talk are zombies and this will at least be a very entertaining one.

I have two.

One- I stayed over a friend's house after a night out when I was in college. I had the spare room, as we were opposite sex and both in relationships. Anyway, I got woken up at 6am by his mum flinging open the door and bashing on the light. I looked at her in sleepy confusion and she said "I'll need you to get up and keep an eye on the mushrooms. Dad's got work at 8." Walked downstairs feeling like I'd slipped into another universe and sure enough, a pan of sliced mushrooms was slowly frying on the cooker. "Just stop those from catching." Which I did, feeing completely uneasy and creeped out. As soon as the mushrooms were done, she tipped them onto a plate and threw some bacon in the pan and then asked me to go and wake Miles (my friend) for his breakfast, but do NOT wake Dad yet. I did. I gave him a brief overview of my morning and he sat bolt upright and looked at me in disbelief. He told me a few days later that his mum simply couldn't see why either of us felt it so unusual that she'd ask a woman in her house to help with breakfast, especially because I hadn't been busy! And she wasn't about to use her husband's first name with me- she didn't KNOW me!

2-

When I went to a school friend's house for tea and was quizzed over dinner about if I'd ever had food like this before, if I knew what all the items were called, about the food my mum serves and if my dad eats with us, if we eat the same food as our parents, if we are allowed snacks before bed, what my favourite biscuits were, if I preferred to drink my milk cold or warm, if we have sheets on our beds etc. Looking back she was probably concerned as we were absolutely dirt poor and trying to ascertain if we kids needed some help, but it was the most bizarre way to do it.