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Original poster

Only with Ocado...

258 replies

SoupDragon · 03/04/2012 09:33

"Today your order will be delivered by Jesus in the Cabbage van"

You don't get the son of god delivering groceries for just any supermarket.

OP posts:
toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 06/04/2012 01:25

Thank you o merciful one. I doubted, now I have seen the light.

The light that glints off the gold wrapping of your symbol of your love for us - I shall worship as I unwrap the mighty Bunny of Peace and consume it in an ecstasy of fervour.

emmanana · 06/04/2012 00:10

She was most affronted by the way.
'that's the kind of behaviour you expect from other supermarkets' she said as she recounted the incident on the phone.

emmanana · 06/04/2012 00:07

Jesus, when my sister had her delivery last week (Barry in Tomato Van) he didn't realise she was the other side of the front door just about to open it, and she heard him drop something and say 'Fuck it'.
What would you say if you dropped a box on your foot?

JesusInACabbageVan · 06/04/2012 00:05

No, no burning. My Cabbage is a cabbage of peace. And chocolate eggs.

JesusInACabbageVan · 06/04/2012 00:00

Emmanana your eggs had to be broken to lead you to the Omelette of Enlightenment.

MightyNice · 06/04/2012 00:00

lord shall we burn the heretic toomuchmonthatendofthemoney?

emmanana · 05/04/2012 23:55

When Mohammed came in Potato van, it was definitely his real name. He rang to say he was in the the area early if I wanted my shopping earlier, and I missed the call. When I rang back the number 2 minutes later, he answered it with his name. He was very friendly. I like Mohammed. He was nicer than Jesus.

Greenknowe · 05/04/2012 23:54

Shock toomuch are you doubting the existence of Christ in the cabbage van? Grin

CanCant · 05/04/2012 23:52

This thread has made me chuckle out loud!

I've had deliveries by Paul, Peter, John and James!

We usually get Onion or Lemon van here. Only 1 lady driver ever- Susan.

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 05/04/2012 23:49

I meant nutters not mutters ffs. Although, it has a ring to it, being stalked by a mutter. Hmm

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 05/04/2012 23:47

Do you think the drivers choose a fake name to protect their identity, you know like they do sometimes in call centres (supposedly to prevent mutters tracking them down and getting stabby over an unpaid bill)

So Emmanuel might in reality be Nigel, Zoltan is John and Engin is Ted?

emmanana · 05/04/2012 23:46

Jesus; remember those eggs of mine you broke? Can you pop round with some nice Lindt ones to replace them please?

Moodykat · 05/04/2012 23:45

Piotr even, without the 'e'.

Moodykat · 05/04/2012 23:40

Ooh, RachelHRD, I've had Piotre but in the Apple van. And Darren, also in the apple van. I also didn't pay for my last shop which I am a bit Hmm about!

ThatVikRinA22 · 05/04/2012 23:37

have we found Jesus? in a cabbage van? we should do a mumsnet remake of the life of brian....

has anyone had a brian in any van at all?

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 05/04/2012 23:28

Never mind chocolate, I gave up toast for Lent and I'm getting visions of crusty white bread toast dripping in salted butter......

So I've ordered the necessaries from Ocado, just waiting to see if Jesus will provide

JesusInACabbageVan · 05/04/2012 23:27

I have returned among you in my Cabbage Van to preach the holy word. And the word is chocolate.

You, the middle class ocado shoppers, are my chosen people.

MNHQ
OliviaLMumsnet · 05/04/2012 23:21

Jesus, is it right that Chocolate is for life not just for Easter?

JesusInACabbageVan · 05/04/2012 23:19

Lent, shment. Chocolate is a holy substance.

MightyNice · 05/04/2012 23:16

even during Lent? even on days of strict fasting and abstinence, like tomorrow?

hooray! (are you sure? I suppose you would know . . .)

JesusInACabbageVan · 05/04/2012 23:13

You are forgiven, Mightynice. Eating chocolate is a form of worship.

MightyNice · 05/04/2012 23:06

hello Lord! sorry I missed the Evening Mass of Your Supper tonight I was eating chocolate praying at home

Hebiegebies · 05/04/2012 23:04

Welcome to Mumsnet Jesusincabbagevan

makeminemango · 05/04/2012 22:58

I've had a delivery in a sassy strawberry van. Got changed out of my dressing gown for that one Wink

JesusInACabbageVan · 05/04/2012 22:57

I am here, my children.

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