BODEN the endless threads about quality. These have been around since Dawn of time.

And in to the confessional, the angel of communication went. "Forgive me father for I have sinned"
"Pray tell me" the priest replied, "what have you done?"
"I have failed in my mission as set by our lord Johnnie" sobbing loudly in to my sleeve of the angelic swirl cross over everyday day dress with three quarter length sleeves I went on " Johnnie asked me to communicate as often as I could but I have missed an opportunity"
"Do tell" said the priest. "how did that happen?"
"I was drawn in to the devils own system called the Internet and email and through this I responded to the temptation in front of me to send to all of the known customers a daily offer offering bigger and bigger discounts, free delivery, and free returns but today I forgot and Johnnies' customers will be bereft of their daily offer and will have to pay full price. What father do I do?"
He thought for a moment, reached forward and passed through the grill a pack of clear plastic bags and said "the only redemption for you my son is to now earn forgiveness by now sending out daily catalogues fully of the same offers by post to the same customers in the vain hope your tops, trousers, dresses, mini boden and Johnnie b look different in print than on the screen and redemption in the form of orders comes your way"

lol

And at the school gates from hell on a summers day in june, it came to pass that the matching twins presented unto others in a Cossack tunic of crinkled summertime fun loving linen(in a matching bag), ankle length summer slim fit crops with co-ordinating union jack bag and pumps. The followers turned to each other and stared. It was then that they were reminded of the commandment do not covert thy neighbour.

And his followers were loyal and did as he bid as he bade them write his messages on tablets. And the tablets showed both the board shorts for the issue of Adam and the flippy skirt for the issue of Eve - separated and yet inverted, to baffle sinners. And he suffered the little children to have their own tablet.

Lo, at the passing of every moon the tablets were carried far and wide to those who had shown interest in His Words. And yea, even those who had shown no interest. And those who wanted no part of His Words, yet they were still given his tablet.
The wailing and gnashing of teeth of these sinners would not prevent his tablet reaching them, nor the postcards that asketh 'What Have I Done?' and showed his very image. And though the sinners did recycle them, still they came and yet still they came.

Such is the word of the Boden.

And it came to pass, that, when the sun went down, and it was dark, behold a Ruffle Silk Party Dress, and a pair of Glamorous Party Heels that passed between two raised beds of organic vegetables and an apple tree strewn with polka dot bunting.

Hotch begot Potch.....this has made my night.
Keep going ladies.....

And god said to primark wearers
" be not thee jealous of mums in Boden at the school gate for they will pity thee for not making an effort."

And Satan having compast the Earth, enters into the serpent sleeping. The serpent gaveth Eve to know that she wasn't sexy, at all, in melange or in hotchpotch, regardless whether the neckline was scoop or boatneck. Through his guile, Eve began to think that she would fain go naked than encounter one more school gate mother in same Ruffle dress in a different colourway. And to herself Eve said, "why should I not have Orla Kiely? Or at the least, Cath Kidston? The former is sometimes a bit edgy, and the latter has the advantage of being less ubiquitous".

I think it's clear I neither shop at Boden nor go to church

Sunday School Cyb

But the followers of the Lord saw that the colour was not that which was represented on screen, nor wast the bust adequately proportioned, nor didst the review by CurvyPeach (Herts) encourage. And the followers of the Lord looked elsewhere

Sue you are GOOD at this

And he did gather them and urged them speaketh yet to the masses - what of their favourite holiday moment? And they did exult in moonlight walks and hot salsa nights and deserted beaches. And yet he still urged them, liketh you strongest the smell of fresh cut grass or a baby's head?

Then sayeth Thalia (33), that the glory was to be found in fresh baked bread. But the masses knew she speaketh with forked tongue and did Not Do Carbeths.

And the word of the lord Jonny spread and soon Boden outlet sales croppeth

up in Cheltenham and Tunbridge Wells

Fed by seed topped batch baked organic) bread and (volcanic organic) water , Johhny's folllowers do amass to praise be and

rip merry hell out of

each other to get the last corsage cardi in Summer Jade (size 18)

And Jonny decree'd all boys should be surfeth dudes

And little girls shall ne'er be without stripey tights and fairy wings

Amen

And LO!

Only Architects or Stallions could weareth thy work shirts for men

ANd pants became loungeth

And yea, even here there was loungewear, and the Lord had Favourites, and he smote those which were not Favourites, and those which were thus smited were expelled from the main website henceforth to abide in Clearance amid design disasters.