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Center Parcs & Anal sex

290 replies

shadyl · 16/01/2012 20:22

So for the past 4 years I've been badgering DH for us to go to Center Parcs. He's been reticent on account of it being 'naff' and 'like Butlins but with trees' I disagree but anyway...

Eventually we went to Center Parcs, Longleat over the Christmas period (it was great) and I noticed that he had packed a tube of KY but didn't think anything of it. So we get back home and he makes some silly joke about 'no bumfun' despite 'my promises'.

Now there is no way in hell anything is ever going up my back bottom so I questioned what he meant (assuming he was joking). And he said that "according to Mumsnet" Center Parcs =anal sex. Apparently I had told him this over 4 years ago.

I have no memory of this link between Center Parcs and anal. Can someone confirm that there is a Center Parcs/anal meme in the same vein as nice ham?

Anyway, I got the hump.
He claims he was joking and made it all up because he thought I would find it funny
It's all too weird and I'm still a bit offended. Can't tell if I'm being oversensitive and it really was all a joke or whether he really did think that bum-business was on the menu.

OP posts:
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EnglishIvy · 02/03/2026 21:39

Anal is incredible. I don’t blame them.
Surely I can’t be the only woman who thinks so?
Honestly, book somewhere a little less family-friendly, pack the lube, lock the door, and make a proper weekend of it.
Trust me, after that, he’ll be very motivated to return the favour. 😉

balalake · 15/10/2022 12:07

You may remember that there was a lot of fuss over Center Parcs initial idea to evict all their guests on the day of the funeral of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth, apparently so the staff could all watch it. They relented.

Still wonder if that was the real reason, and it was not so some of the staff could indulge in what this thread is about!

BlytheByName · 21/09/2022 13:01

I’ve just retired and was on the internet somewhere else when someone mentioned a mumsnet classics thread, Mexican house thief. I am now one hour in and laughing so much I’ve woken the dogs up.
The last time I laughed that loud alone was the husband who ate the fat balls years back.
I’m going to treat myself to a thread a day.

Ladyof2022 · 13/09/2022 19:52

Thread title of the century

OvergroundWomblingFree · 14/05/2018 10:00

Ah I see someone made it before me. I thought the bag happened before the bumsex link and was the original source of bumsex and centerparks connection

"Use me until my bottom wears out" Grin

m8tt · 26/02/2018 13:20

Sorry if i'm slightly late to the party here but my DW has asked to go to centre parcs in November.

I'm not sure if i'm reading into it too much or not but am i getting anal sex?

RallyGirl · 26/12/2017 23:01

At Center Parcs at the mo, in fact our last night. Absolutely no bumfun for us this trip (or any previous trips!!). Going to go look for the bag GeekyWombat found in the gift shop before we leave tomorrow tho as it made me chuckle!

GeekyWombat · 02/05/2017 15:10

So I'm at Center Parcs for the first time with DH and DC. Never been before, only thing I knew about it was this random thread (or actually before today just the title of the thread which I've seen pop up in trending from time to time).

I just saw this bag in the gift shop. Someone at Center Parcs clearly has heard the rumours and has a sense of humour or I have a dirty mind.

The bag was organic jute of course. I've never been to a holiday camp so posh. There's an olive bar in the shop FFS.

Center Parcs & Anal sex
AlisonHendrix · 22/04/2017 03:09

I've been in this boat (literally) and I don't think it's a mumsnet meme, I think it's just a tradition I have with my DH! So for us, Centre Parcs definitely means Anal Sex! Wink

Vickyyyy · 20/05/2016 23:12

I have a banging headache in the back of my head after laughing far too much at both this thread and the oxo tower one that was mentioned on here.

surferboyroy · 14/05/2016 14:50

so, just got back from centre parcs, now I know why all the chalet back doors are smashed in.

NixoffSwiftly · 11/04/2016 19:49

I turned Greek after anal sex,ie sorebum lololololol

LindaCrump · 08/08/2015 21:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Rascaltashly · 06/08/2015 21:56

I used to work for center parcs and twice a year massive groups of swingers would descend. I think they call it "rainbow weekend". They wore different coloured wrist bands so you could tell who was up for a switcharoo and were banned from the spa after several "incidents". So if your fella wants bum sex if you go at the right time of year he can find someone else willing while you enjoy the spa in peace!

ScorpioMermaid · 24/05/2015 13:44

My parcs ffs!

ScorpioMermaid · 24/05/2015 13:43

Mt mum loves centre pars Shock

dadlovesthatboy · 24/05/2015 00:28

I don't see what the fuss is about. Centre Parcs, anal sex? Known for it. Why else would you go?

Sapphire247 · 15/10/2013 18:09

Dear Shadyl,

"I'm getting more and more offended by him and I can't tell whether I'm having a sense of humour failure......"

Well, speaking as a gentleman, can I just add that if your other half keeps on making you feel uncomfortable then perhaps you can apply a swift boot up his very own Khyber Pass until he gets the message that you're not particularly amused? If that doesn't make him wrap up, you can always crush two OXO cubes into a boiling cup under his nose. That should make him sweat!

As it happens, we weren't over-impressed with Center Parcs anyway, probably because we don't do much sport. About £750 for 4 days of holiday in a forest with fairly consistent drizzle and nowt much of great interest for us to do did seem a bit steep for our tight family budget but, in fairness, the swimming pool and log flumes were indeed great fun and the scenery and overall organisation of the facilities was very good. It's great if you're into sport. Still, it's nothing you couldn't arrange for yourselves with bikes and a carefully chosen holiday let. I'd prefer a few days walking and cycling in the New Forest anytime. The trouble is clearing your diaries and actually making it happen.

Am I digressing?

deepfriedsage · 11/10/2013 08:23

Oh I was taking to poster who started the anal thread in relationships.

Paddingtonblue · 11/10/2013 07:56

No, just needed a good laugh and you can really rely on classsics for that.

deepfriedsage · 11/10/2013 07:34

Oh dear zombie classic, have you found mn due to the viral thread?

Paddingtonblue · 11/10/2013 07:30

Dear mumsnet, I love you for making me guffaw. This thread really deserve the classics status.

Panthering · 11/10/2013 05:15

Anal is fantastic.... I don't blame him for wanting it!!! am i the only woman that thinks so????

I'd say book up somewhere a bit less 'family' for a naughty weekend, pack the KY and just have fun... I'm sure after that hell do anything you ask!!!!

ElBombero · 09/10/2013 23:03

Hahahahahahahahaha

Grin Cheered me right up

eccentrica · 18/03/2013 15:46

I wouldn't let you shag me up anything after that condescending post, even if you were the real JamesSpader.

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