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Mumsnet classics

Relive the funniest, most unforgettable threads. For a daily dose of Mumsnet’s best bits, sign up for Mumsnet's daily newsletter.

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Original poster

to have expected a flume ride to feel the same as it did when i was a kid. FFS I go like a rocket now!

95 replies

Nevergarglebrandybutter · 08/01/2012 18:58

Yowser, I was out of control!
I nearly got flipped over. Ankles over the side the lot. And there's no brakes once you get your speed up.
Crikey, I used to enjoy them now it's quite obviously dangerous!

OP posts:

Original poster

Nevergarglebrandybutter · 13/01/2012 17:50

and the roundup!
have i finally mastered the art of the mumsnet thread?

OP posts:

MuslinSuit · 10/01/2012 08:52

thank you for making me laugh - I need it this morning!

Iheartpasties · 10/01/2012 01:02

I admire you all for even getting on a flume! I'd be way too scared!

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 09/01/2012 23:58

CatpussRoastingByAnOpenFire · 09/01/2012 23:53

I cant remember. I have blanked the entire episode from my memory!
Swinning pool? What swimming pool?

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 09/01/2012 23:40

Catpuss was it Bluestone?

McPhee · 09/01/2012 23:24

Bloody hilarious

ShowOfHands · 09/01/2012 23:23

I am crying with laughter.

We go to Center Parcs with my parents every March and a lot of the time I've either been pregnant or bfing and couldn't possibly go on the hell that is the rapids. But eventually I ran out of excuses. Bloody thing. It's in sections so you can experience the full range of trauma on the way down. The first bit sucks you under and sort of removes your swimwear whilst you scrabble for purchase and cry. The second bit hurtles you into a pit where you get the full force of a wave into your open eyes, blinding you and if you're lucky, also choking you. Then the third bit you sort of spin round whilst screeching before banging your head on an imitation rock and tearing a hole in the arse of your swimming costume.

True.

Story.

Of course a load of 5-15yos cruise past you effortlessly whilst giggling. It serves to highlight your complete and utter spiral into agony. Physical and emotional.

HedleyLamarr · 09/01/2012 23:21

Oh my Catpuss you poor thing.

ChrisMsBrian · 09/01/2012 23:05

DP and I both laughing our heads off ... Thank you ladies!

boohoobabywho · 09/01/2012 22:40

Faverolles maybe he did that Augustus Gloop thing and got stuck in the pipe!

Faverolles · 09/01/2012 22:22

:o at this thread! I really needed this tonight.

DH went on one of these at center parcs a few years ago. Physics can't have been on his side, as he was in the bloody thing for ages.
Lifeguards were peering up the hole worriedly.
After about half an hour, he slowly plopped out at the bottom.
To this day, no-one knows how he managed to defy laws of gravity and go so bloody slowly!

CatpussRoastingByAnOpenFire · 09/01/2012 22:13

We went to a water park on holiday in Wales this year. Not only did I have to go through the humiliation of MIL2 picking out a swim suit from the rail in the shop, "this looks about your size" (20) and it actually fitted!
But when I got on the flume, all the water backed up behind me. It was like a fecking tsunami! DS said he knew when I was coming, because the water stopped coming out of the end, and then out I would burst, like a walrus out of a cannon, arms and legs flailing, to hit the water and knock him off his feet if he wasnt out of the pool fast enough!

Original poster

Nevergarglebrandybutter · 09/01/2012 21:58

OP posts:

youarekidding · 09/01/2012 21:57

This has made classics

Original poster

Nevergarglebrandybutter · 09/01/2012 21:47

my favourite flumes as a kid were the rainbow slides in Stirling.
there was one in particular that was scary back then....
hmm, anyone in stirling willing to check it out?

OP posts:

Original poster

Nevergarglebrandybutter · 09/01/2012 21:44

this thread is really making me grin.

i urge all mumsnetters who haven't been down a flume since achieving adult status to give it a go. honestly, your life (and your swimsuit) may well flash before your very eyes.

OP posts:

JayVazzle · 09/01/2012 21:43

I also remember going to a water park
With an ex, I had a suspicion he couldn't swim but he insisted he could.

Anyways he almost drowned at the bottom of the first flume, the water was 4 ft deep and there were 6 year olds coming down it, he just wouldn't put his feet on the floor and had to be rescued by the lifeguard.

He spent the rest of the day watching me
Pull my bikini bottoms out of my arse at the bottom of slides, and we broke up
Shortly after.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 09/01/2012 21:38

Boohoo, just tried reading out your post to DH, cept I'd not read it properly before beginning to read... think I may have weed a little bit plus I ended up spitting all over the laptop screen when I got to the part about calling the paramedics.

By far the funniest thing I've ever read on here.

Well done.

can we have a link to the photos?

FionaBruise · 09/01/2012 21:21

wah lets all the mumsnetters do a sponsored flume event :-)

PANCHEY · 09/01/2012 21:21

DH just asked me if I was drunk..nope just reading this thread,

Macdog · 09/01/2012 21:19

I am crying with laughter here

Thank you ladies

FionaBruise · 09/01/2012 21:09

wah more more more stories please!!!
DH in stitches too

MmeLindor. · 09/01/2012 21:07

boohoo
:o
You nut. I love that story.

Nevergargle
Good thread.

BerryLellow · 09/01/2012 21:01

I'm actually weeping at this thread. Thank you, I needed it today. :o

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