to get disproportionately angry when songs do not make sense

'Waterloo, finally facing I wanted you.'

What is this? A sudden urge for a London mainline railway station? A recently-admitted craving for a flushing toilet? It makes no sense

Thumbinnapuddingwitch - I'm pretty sure that a nuclear attack is what the metaphor is based on - Del Amitri are 80ies people after all.

I just have a soft spot for the song, my husband plays it a lot on the guitar, and it's weirdly sweet to hear my not even 3 year old singing along

'in which case NOBODY IS AVAILABLE TO COMMENT.'

Quote of the day.

Driving home last week four out of the six radio stations I tried to listen to were playing Do They Know It's Christmas.

Simultaneously.

I hate that song.

Argh.

Bruno Mars, as other people have mentioned, is also a repeat offender.

I don't know what's worse:

Today I don't feel like doing anything - well, that's nice for you. You go play with your Snuggie. Also, why do you keep making references to sticking your hand down your trousers? 'Nobody's gonna tell me I can't'? NO, THEY'LL JUST ARREST YOU. Unless you're on your own in your house, in which case NOBODY IS AVAILABLE TO COMMENT.

Also, from I Think I Wanna Marry You: dancing juice? Dancing. Juice. What kind of stupid name for (what I presume is) alcoholic drinks is that? Also, are you in Las Vegas? Or Scotland? Because if you're in, say, England, or I don't know, Minnesota, I don't think you can just up and get married in the middle of the night without a license. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Are you allowed to get married when you're drunk?

And you MUST be in Vegas, because I know of nowhere else with chapels and choirboys singing as you wed IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BLOOMING NIGHT.

Don't even get me started on Grenade.

sigh

That was massively therapeutic. Thank you, thread starter!

I always liked that Katie Melua song - I want to pat her on the head and go "yes dear, and when you grow up you'll realise that 22 and 17 are not that different at all".

Widow - ok, I assumed they were wittering about an atomic bomb dropping and the 4 minute warning. Either way, stupid pissing lyric, IMO, and always makes me shudder like nails down a blackboard does whenever I hear it.

Basement Kiss, always wondered what that was about...

Thumbinnapuddingwitch - I always understood it as "if anything is to destroy these perfect days, I really don't want to know about it for as long as possible". So not neccessarily literally a bomb.

To raise the tone a little I nominate Sisqo:

^She had dumps like a truck truck truck
Thighs like what what what^

She had WHATS like a WHAT? Some part of her resembled a truck? Yum. And thighs like WHAT? Tell us Sisqo. If you don't know, we sure as hell don't. Complete your simile or just shut up.

Isn't "chasing pavements" a slang term for actively pursuing the art of dogging? I'm sure I was told that's what Adele meant by it.

'Adele's someone like you, surely the relationship ended for a reason, also maybe half his fault, why find someone like him?????'

No he left her, she does want someone just like him, that's why it's so fecking heartbreaking

Sade, I can't remember the song title but the lyric has bugged me for years:

Coast to coast, LA to Chicago

Look, love, I've been to Chicago and seen Lake Michigan. It's big, I grant you that, but it's not the coast. A quick look in an atlas should sort that one out for you. The lyric should be, 'Quite a long way into America.'

Ha! Haven't the time to read the entire thread but I CANNOT listen to that fecking song by Lisa Stansfield AT ALL - it's instant channel change if it comes on!

My most annoying song lyric is in "Always The Last To Know" by Del Amitri - it's all about a break up, him being the last to find out and THEN he sticks these fucking annoyingly nonsensical lines in:
"And you said these are such perfect days
That if the bomb drops baby
I wanna be the last to know"

WTAF has a bomb drop got to do with the rest of the song, except that it includes the phrase "last to know" again?? Drives me nuts every time I hear it ARRRGGHHHHH!!!

Agree with Live and Let Die - too many 'in's in that sentence - also very annoying.

Faith Hill: "It's centrifugal motion / It's perpetual bliss"

Firstly, thanks for the physics reminder, it will come in handy in my GCSEs (it did, along with Flanders and Swan's First And Second Laws of Thermodynamics) but WTF is it doing in a love song? And secondly, is the force that forces things apart really that blissful? Let alone appropriate for a song about kissing. Kissing in the middle of a strong centrifugal force would surely be really frustrating?

Adele's someone like you, surely the relationship ended for a reason, also maybe half his fault, why find someone like him?????

psychic that's weird I thought 'hollaback girl' was 'harlem black girl' as well!

Shania Twain is always a good one for silly lyrics eg in Man I feel like a Woman:

'Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady
Men's shirts-short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction
Color my hair-do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!'

Firstly, I didn't know wearing a man's shirt was particularly in style. Yes it is really really daring to colour your hair! At least you have ceased being confused over your gender and decided you are female so that's a relief.

But Aretha Franklin goes one further in the gender confusion as she hints at some kind of sex-change:

'Cause you make me feel, you make me feel, you make me feel like
A natural woman'

I'll tell you what I want,
What I really, really want...

Apparently, THAT song won an Ivor Novello??

I cannot figure out Take Thats The Flood song at all:

Standing, on the edge of forever,
At the start of whatever,
Shouting love at the world.
Back then, we were like cavemen,
We?d beam at the moon and the stars,
Then we forgave them.

We will meet you where the lights are,
The defenders, of the faith we are.
Where the thunder turns around they?ll run so hard we?ll tear the ground away.

You know no one dies, in these love town lies,
Through our love drowned eyes, we?ll watch you sleep tonight.

Although no one understood we were holding back the flood,
Learning how to dance the rain.
We were holding back the flood they said we?d never dance again.

I can't believe no one's mentioned...

They're Justified, and they're Ancient,
And they drive an ice cream van.
(just roll it from the top)
They're Justified and they're Ancient,
With still no master plan.

I think the last thing you'd be driving if you were ancient would be an ice cream van KLF. Maybe one of those things where your legs poke through and you can run along, (like on The Flintstones), but an ice cream van, really?

It really doesn't surprise me that you have 'no master plan' either, unless your master plan happens to be tooling around all day in an ice cream van like a set of complete fuckwits?

Crunk means chronic+drunk (stoned and drunk)

Bethshine82 -

To be fair, my older daughter just asked Father Christmas for a piece of toast on behalf of her baby sister, who I'm sure will be thrilled at receiving toast. So the song makes perfect sense to the under 3s.

It's twisting my melon - melon being slang for head.

casparella

You're twisting my melon, man

i.e. you're messing with my head, subtext - which is easy because I'm off me tits

On the subject of Jerusalem. Now look here, I know about Joseph of Arimathea, I have been to Glastonbury Abbey and seen his ancient holy rod.

However, I have also been to a "Last night of the Proms" party at the house in Gloucestershire where Parry composed the hymn, and Jerusalem still strikes me as a weird and problematic name-drop. So there!

Good grief, DH has just this second booted up a BBC4 documentary and the narrator has said "Jerusalem about 7 times while I typed this. Hang on, I've changed my mind, it's all true!