You have to stop in the street when you see a bus for a quiet but rousing verse of 'The Wheels on the Bus'.
You accidentely bash the cat over the head, and then watch it for a few fretful seconds to see if it will burst into tears.
You have to resist the urge to clap and congratulate others on mundane achievements such as eating up all their din-dins.
You say din-dins.
You refer to yourself in the third person. This is the preserve of toddler-parents and psychopaths. This may or may not be a coincidence.
You decide that you prefer the skirting board coloured-in.