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Original poster

WWYD? The Saga of the Family Tuna

361 replies

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 27/09/2011 19:43

Bit longwinded but anyone who bears with me can have and
DD has a toy caterpillar named Sydney Tuna, she liberated him from a car boot sale when she was just gone 2 and has adored and worshipped him ever since.
Last Christmas Santa brought his mummy, Mrs. Mabel Tuna, to live with us. She had missed Sydney since he went to seek his fortune, so had written to Santa to ask him to find Sydney, and Santa gave her a lift to our house on his sleigh. Cue rejoicing and carolling and so on....
DD now informs me that this Christmas, Mrs T and Sydney are writing jointly to Santa to find Mr. Tuna, who rejoices in the name Miguel apparently, and is in the army, fighting for the peaceloving resistance caterpillars who want to stop the slaughter between the marmite and the maple syrup factions I kid you not AND I kept a straight face wile DD told me all this
So... and if you're still with me, a thousand thanks... I can lay my hands on a caterpillar identical to Mrs. Tuna, but how can I make him look like he's been liberated from the army/prisoner of war camp/somewhere else suitable to have kept him away for a long time? I thought about him having been kidnapped by Pirates to explain where he's been all these years, and that was when DD came out with the stuff about the army... any suggestions? DD is 9 and I think this could be the last year for Santa for her, we've had some pointed questions that I have so far lied my way out of managed by the skin of my teeth, so I want to do Mr. Tuna's homecoming right...

OP posts:

Original poster

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 16:16

OP posts:

Blatherskite · 29/09/2011 16:15

I'll have a go with the sticky stuff remover tonight and get the helmet posted tomorrow

Original poster

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 16:03

So I was just looking for the clip of Allo Allo where the ladies of ze resistance give thier silk niqueuers for France... Note to Self: Do not, under any circumstance, ever, ever again, google the words "give, knickers, silk, and France" in the same keyword list again

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stealthsquiggle · 29/09/2011 15:59

oh - you did already! OK, will post it tomorrow when DH isn't around to query my latest lunacy

stealthsquiggle · 29/09/2011 15:58

More than willing to donate the satin to the cause - PM me with your address if you want it, Pidj!

Original poster

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 15:55

She can shop for England the Next outlet at Cadbury World in Somerset probably still hasn't recovered from the time she spent there this summer and gets the best clothes/naice clothes/posh and expensive and only for special occasion clothes thing. Not sure what Mabel Tuna will make of Miguel hijacking other women's scanties though but hopefully she will understand that it was only to bring the day of their joyful reunion closer...

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purplepidjinawoollytangle · 29/09/2011 15:50

Ooh, Stealth, perhaps Miguel stole the Commandante's wife's best slinky satin drawers and best table cloth, then dug his tunnel in the ensuing commotion?

Would that be a little too risque for your DD, Pombear, or is she old enough to handle the concept of Naice underwear???

Original poster

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 15:49

Oooo purple you tell it so well - I can visualise the whole scene now that is JUST what happened. Helmet and bandana gratefully accepted, thank you! and I will pm you lovely ladies in a minute - am currently puddling in melt-grease on the floor under the chair from the walk to school and back

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CaveMum · 29/09/2011 15:42

Fabulous!

I nominate this thread for Classics!

Honeydragon · 29/09/2011 15:11

I have a childs camo bandana I am more than willing to post donate to the cause. By all means pm me your address if at anytime you decide you want it

rockinhippy · 29/09/2011 14:50

I can't read through ALL the replies right now :) -

but just incase it hasn't already been suggested - you could use a lighter to "scorch" him, could either be for stubble on his face, or perhaps scars - from an explosion he was caught in, when blasted out of prison by rudolf on Santas say so ;) -

love the story BTW - my DD is the same age & also asking the same questions I suspect we've had our last believable Santas been already :(

stealthsquiggle · 29/09/2011 14:49

Oh you're good, Pidj

I was about to volunteer some nice shiny white satin which I am sure I had a reason for buying other than that is was cheap for a sleigh-emergency-kit parachute. (Actually, I know what I bought it for - it was plan A for snowman costume for DD, but then I went with white fleece in the end)

purplepidjinawoollytangle · 29/09/2011 14:43

The parachute is part of Miguel's daring Plan A, of course - it was sheer luck that Santa stopped by at such a propitious moment.

Miguel was digging his escape tunnel towards the 300' high cliff on which the prison camp was situated. Once he reached a point approximately 12' from the top of the cliff, he was planning to base-jump down to the ocean, wrap himself in the parachute to prevent hypothermia and to camoflage himself, and use just 2 pairs of legs at a time to paddle towards the Rock of Gibralter where he knew he'd find refuge at the British Embassy.

Blatherskite · 29/09/2011 14:33

I've just had a thought! I have a child's size camo helmet that might fit Mr Tuna?

It's been covered in stickers at some point but I'm sure they wouldn't take much getting off. The scrubbing might even make it look a little battered? Ds has never played with it.

stealthsquiggle · 29/09/2011 14:33

..or he could have unravelled a sock, also stolen from the commandants washing line, leaving the commandant so distracted in searching for his missing sock that he didn't notice Miguel's daring escape attempt?

One thing worries me, though (and I suspect will worry PomBear's DD) - if Santa intervened when Miguel was halfway through his escape tunnel, WTF was Miguel doing making a parachute in the first place?

As an alternative - parachute could be red and white and donated by Santa from the sleigh emergency kit?

LtEveDallas · 29/09/2011 14:29

PomBear, so glad you got it, am amazed at the Post Office, I didn't get it there until 1600, so for you to get it today is bloody amazing!

I figured SSgt Tuna needed a medal for all his daring exploits - you'll just have to work out how to get the Northern Ireland bar off it, unless of course he was awarded it by the greatful Northern Irish Marmite Marauders who valiantly joined the fight to free their opressed sympathisers? not as good at this as your dd

Cant wait to see the photos

Original poster

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 14:00

ooo an Alien squid.... resists, that would be farfetched and so far the whole thing is utterly plausible at every angle!

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purplepidjinawoollytangle · 29/09/2011 13:59

Woad it is then

I never said the squid had been born on this planet, though

Perhaps a kind passing clam dredges up distant memories of Roman Senators and purple togas

Original poster

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 13:57

ex? escape

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Original poster

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 13:57

This is going to be the best excape since Papillon

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Original poster

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 13:56

My DD would say "But mummy" still have no idea why she talks so much posher than the rest of the family "squid ink is sepia" she knows such things and has a head full of trivia just like me, there are days when we don't know whether to laugh or cry - she was the 3 yr old who told the nursery staff "Just like Schroedinger's Cat" when they read the "My Cat Likes Boxes" picture book however - woad gentians/speedwells/bluebells could have been fortuitously growing in the camp - if we see it on Horrible Histories it must be true so woad is favourite

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Blatherskite · 29/09/2011 13:52

I love this thread!!

Your DD has the most amazing imagination, you sound like the most wonderful Mum, pidj is just fantastic and stealth made me laugh so hard that I snorted my drink through my nose!

Carry on

purplepidjinawoollytangle · 29/09/2011 13:48

Oh yes!! I've got a nice chunky blue which will work up in no time. Perhaps he befriended a squid who donated some ink to dye the wool for camoflage purposes against the sky?

Original poster

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 13:33

dunno purple, I am in awe at your creativity here! crochet maybe? so it's woolly - perhaps Mr. T learned to crochet to while away the long boring hours in captivity and secretly made his harness while nobody was looking after passing local kindly sheep all related to Timmy since we have several Timmies in residence here donated the wool through the fence undercover of darkness...

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katz · 29/09/2011 13:31

have to agree this is brill!

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