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Original poster

WWYD? The Saga of the Family Tuna

361 replies

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 27/09/2011 19:43

Bit longwinded but anyone who bears with me can have Wine and Thanks
DD has a toy caterpillar named Sydney Tuna, she liberated him from a car boot sale when she was just gone 2 and has adored and worshipped him ever since.
Last Christmas Santa brought his mummy, Mrs. Mabel Tuna, to live with us. She had missed Sydney since he went to seek his fortune, so had written to Santa to ask him to find Sydney, and Santa gave her a lift to our house on his sleigh. Cue rejoicing and carolling and so on....
DD now informs me that this Christmas, Mrs T and Sydney are writing jointly to Santa to find Mr. Tuna, who rejoices in the name Miguel apparently, and is in the army, fighting for the peaceloving resistance caterpillars who want to stop the slaughter between the marmite and the maple syrup factions I kid you not AND I kept a straight face wile DD told me all this
So... and if you're still with me, a thousand thanks... I can lay my hands on a caterpillar identical to Mrs. Tuna, but how can I make him look like he's been liberated from the army/prisoner of war camp/somewhere else suitable to have kept him away for a long time? I thought about him having been kidnapped by Pirates to explain where he's been all these years, and that was when DD came out with the stuff about the army... any suggestions? DD is 9 and I think this could be the last year for Santa for her, we've had some pointed questions that I have so far lied my way out of managed by the skin of my teeth, so I want to do Mr. Tuna's homecoming right...

OP posts:
friendofPom · 29/09/2011 19:54

Remind me again, PomBear, why you got married?

Yes, this thread must be saved for posterity.

Original poster
PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 19:19

Has vision "Sydney Tuna and the Pom Bear of Doom" Grin

OP posts:
youarekidding · 29/09/2011 19:15

You DD sounds amazing.

I love it.

Am also picturing some kind of Harry Potter type series appearing starring Catapillars in years to come.

Original poster
PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 19:07

Am so impressed by that Mrs S Grin My granda was a para, during WWII, he dropped at Arnhem - he was a paramedic and had the first aid kit and his main task was collecting dog tags from the bodies apparently so nanna says but she also said that he hated to talk about it so nobody ever knew most of what they went through. They spent about a month under the floorboards of a dutch farmhouse kitchen though - stayed in contact with the family until the day they died. :(

OP posts:
MrsSnaplegs · 29/09/2011 19:05

Oh sorry forgot to say the bottom of the harness needs to go through the legs like a climbing harness but I have no idea how you will do this for a caterpillar Grin

MrsSnaplegs · 29/09/2011 19:03

purplepidj

Parachute advice:

Make the harness so that it resembles a rucksack one from the front - i.e. an H but make the back bit an X

Attach the cover for the parachute (like the one on your linky) to the X bit at the shoulder sections and the point were the X meets in the middle

Now attach your connector for the parachute cords (probably something like a metal D ring will suffice) to the inside of the cover "packet"

Then attach your parachute cords to this ring

The other end of the cords need to be fitted to the corners of the chute

It's probably best if this is rectangular - think of the canopies you see of the military parachutists at displays and stuff. The "work" parachutes of the paras going in on military operations are circular but this would be harder to attach the cords to

Use a lightweight material for the chute - think something thin and silky Grin

Once you have all your component parts attached then you need to fold the chute into the packet without knotting the cords and so it slips out easily in one piece. I would suggest getting one of those cheap plastic toy parachutists to see how the cords are attached to the chute - it's hard to explain on here Grin

Hope that helps - let me know if you need anymore help Grin

Original poster
PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 18:43

Oh Norman! thank goodness the Nice Owner was there!

OP posts:
dawntigga · 29/09/2011 18:40

I think I love this thread.

ReallyHopesTheCubDoesSomethingLikeThisTiggaxx

NormanTheForeman · 29/09/2011 18:15

DH is a heartless so-and-so if you ask me! Shock Poor old Miguel Sad

It's a bit like the time I got left in the holiday cottage and my owner's Dad said "Never mind you can always buy another one Shock!" (Don't worry the cottage owner found me and returned me in a jiffy bag).

stealthsquiggle · 29/09/2011 18:13

DH may have just blown his chance at beer, I feel. Miguel will not be impressed when he learns of such heartless speculation and deliberate upsetting of Sydney and Mabel.

Original poster
PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 17:58

I sometimes think it would be easier to just fit a lever on my back that, when pulled, would dispense a tenner to the tune of Happy Birthday to You... Grin
And drum roll please DD has just said that not out of the blue, she was getting Sydney Tuna ready for bed and he was telling her that the last contact Mabel had with Miguel was when he managed to phone her on a borrowed mobile phone, and his last words were "my gun is broken" and the phone was blown out of his hand and that was it... at which point DH may he rot in a pub with no beer where Leeds lose 10-0 every day to Accrington Stanley said "OOOO well how does she know he's not dead then?" Angry forcing me to mop real tears and think very fast and say that they would "just know" if he was dead, and that the phone saved his life by deflecting the bullet, and a caterpillar as well trained and alert as Mr. Tuna would never be caught by surprise like that...
DH has now left the building and may or may not be allowed back in

OP posts:
stealthsquiggle · 29/09/2011 17:35

I only listed the ones which involve me at least to the extent of cake provision - there are more, and endless school stuff. Just about every child we know well enough to buy presents for has a birthday between 1/10 and Christmas. What I really need to do is write a list and just buy 2 presents per child.

Anyway, I didn't mean to distract you from the important business of the Tuna family reunion. I shall make amends by going to find the satin and a suitable envelope.

Original poster
PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 17:28

We have got counts on fingers and toes 7 birthdays of varying importance between now and Xmas now I think about it, and several school events

OP posts:
stealthsquiggle · 29/09/2011 17:04

90 days will take us to Christmas Shock - yes, I guess you're right

Original poster
PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 17:01

deleted! ooerrr - do we get deleted yet? 90 days will take us to Xmas - or is that just a guideline? hasn't been here all that long yet

OP posts:
Original poster
PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 16:59

Because the lock he can pick is on his cell door, and only lets him out into the compound - the gate in the compound wall is Big and Strong and Steel and Electrified, and there are Guards with Guns and Fierce Dogs who have a taste for the flesh of caterpillars...

OP posts:
MrsSnaplegs · 29/09/2011 16:56

Back home will discuss parachute stuff with DH

stealthsquiggle · 29/09/2011 16:48

PomBear - you had better preserve this thread before it gets deleted from chat otherwise you will have nothing to refer to when writing the three volume epic letter with the story of the Great Escape

purplepidjinawoollytangle · 29/09/2011 16:47

If he can pick the lock at will, Pombear, how come he needed to dig a tunnel?

unless the Agency Temp guard left the outside bolts off one day in a moment of carelessness which was never repeated

Original poster
PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 16:45

I think I shall bandage one of his antennae, then when it's healed we can take the bandage off and have it recover. Sydney Tuna has antennae issues as his were horribly maimed in the Terrible Washing Machine Trauma of '07 moment's silence please so we must let Mr. Tuna's be ok in the end!

OP posts:
Original poster
PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 16:43

using his left antenna as a lock pick to open and relock the door behind him so that nobody knew he was out and about...

OP posts:
purplepidjinawoollytangle · 29/09/2011 16:42

... He quickly wove a small cocoon in which to store them, scuttled back to his cell and buried them in a hole in the corner under the bunk...

Original poster
PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 16:38

He has 18 good legs and a couple of injured ones, he shinnied up the clothes prop and along the top ot the line until he could worry the pegs loose with his teeth do caterpillars have teeth? with his gums, toughened by the years of chewing on half a dry stick a week starvation rations and the things dropped to the floor below...

OP posts:
Dawndonna · 29/09/2011 16:36

Nothing to add, but loving it!
:)

purplepidjinawoollytangle · 29/09/2011 16:24

I'm sure Mrs Mable will be so relieved to see her long-lost husband she'll forgive him for pilfering a negligee from the washing line Grin

Now, where did he get the boat hook with which he pilfered said items, and how did he hide it in his cell afterwards...

and the seriously over thinking it award goes to Pidj

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