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Original poster

WWYD? The Saga of the Family Tuna

361 replies

PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 27/09/2011 19:43

Bit longwinded but anyone who bears with me can have Wine and Thanks
DD has a toy caterpillar named Sydney Tuna, she liberated him from a car boot sale when she was just gone 2 and has adored and worshipped him ever since.
Last Christmas Santa brought his mummy, Mrs. Mabel Tuna, to live with us. She had missed Sydney since he went to seek his fortune, so had written to Santa to ask him to find Sydney, and Santa gave her a lift to our house on his sleigh. Cue rejoicing and carolling and so on....
DD now informs me that this Christmas, Mrs T and Sydney are writing jointly to Santa to find Mr. Tuna, who rejoices in the name Miguel apparently, and is in the army, fighting for the peaceloving resistance caterpillars who want to stop the slaughter between the marmite and the maple syrup factions I kid you not AND I kept a straight face wile DD told me all this
So... and if you're still with me, a thousand thanks... I can lay my hands on a caterpillar identical to Mrs. Tuna, but how can I make him look like he's been liberated from the army/prisoner of war camp/somewhere else suitable to have kept him away for a long time? I thought about him having been kidnapped by Pirates to explain where he's been all these years, and that was when DD came out with the stuff about the army... any suggestions? DD is 9 and I think this could be the last year for Santa for her, we've had some pointed questions that I have so far lied my way out of managed by the skin of my teeth, so I want to do Mr. Tuna's homecoming right...

OP posts:
rushofbloodtothefeet · 29/09/2011 11:27

I hope Miguel doesn't turn out to have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and seek solace in the bottle. Eventually being turfed out by Mrs Tuna for unreasonable behaviour and end up sleeping rough on the streets. Contact with Sydney will be intermittent and awkwardly disappointing, leading to a deep-rooted sense of inadequacy that will colour the rest of his life. Sad

stealthsquiggle · 29/09/2011 11:24

I can just imagine the conversation.

"so, some random stranger on the internet needs to accesorise a 5ft cuddly caterpillar to look like a hero of the resistance. Could you please work out the finer points of parachute packing for me?"

DP: ShockConfused

(except that presumably he does know that you are nuts, Pidj Smile?)

purplepidjinawoollytangle · 29/09/2011 11:18

I'm so going to have to work out how it fits back in the pouch, aren't I? Just for the realism of it ponders how insane it would be to recruit DP and his superior Hmm phycics skills and how long it would take him to stop laughing

purplepidjinawoollytangle · 29/09/2011 11:17

£2 for a felt 'tache? Bloody hell, no wonder I don't make any money at my sewing, I don't charge enough!!

stealthsquiggle · 29/09/2011 11:16

PomBear you beat me to it - I was chortling happily at the thought of how big a working parachute for a 5ft caterpillar would have to be. I think you should be working to how heavy he wishes thinks he is, Pidj Grin

purplepidjinawoollytangle · 29/09/2011 11:16

Just a thought, Pombear... Is he not identical in size to Mrs Mabel Tuna, therefore lugging him out from backs of wardrobes when no one's looking is not required?

MrsMooo · 29/09/2011 11:07

I know someone already suggested dying him olive green, but what about cammo paint using watered down food colouring - it'd stain the plush to make him look at bit less pastel/a bit more rugged

I definately think the scars under bandages is an awesome idea, along with rolling pin wodden legs and the beret Grin

and what about this felt moustache? should be easy to stitch on

My gosh I hope I can be this imaginative and resourceful when DS is older!

maxcliffordslovechild · 29/09/2011 11:05

Late to this thread but surely Mr. Tuna would have a battered photo of Mrs Tuna and little Sydney that he's been carrying loving around for years?? Brilliant thread BTW

purplepidjinawoollytangle · 29/09/2011 11:04

Ah ok. I figured upstairs window if you live in a house knows fuck all about physics

Original poster
PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 10:54

No no no no no He is almost five feet long, and is actually quite heavy considering he is just a stuffed animal nobody tell him I said that and I do not want my beloved DCs trying to climb high enough to drop him off to check that the parachute actually works puts foot down

OP posts:
purplepidjinawoollytangle · 29/09/2011 10:52

Circumference! yes!!

Pidj wonders if her primary school maths abilities are up to making a parachute that ACTUALLY WORKS

How much does he weigh?

Original poster
PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 10:49

Grin in that case, you can be my mam, you're somewhat more mature than me... I will be Life, the Universe, and Everything on my next b/day

OP posts:
CristinadellaPizza · 29/09/2011 10:47

I am 46 PomBear :o

Original poster
PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 10:43

Lol cristina I was wondering how old you were after that one purely because I myself am FAR too young to have big children, and am ignoring pfb's looming 21st as hard as I can
I will post pics of Miguel, and the whole family so everyone can share in the joyous reunion Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 10:41

ooooo measurements- I will have to measure surreptitiously when looks shify nobody is looking since Mr. T is currently in hiding at the back of the top of the wardrobe What will you need? his circumference and segment length? leg spacings? has no idea what's involved in caterpillar jackets but is willing to measure everything asap

OP posts:
CristinadellaPizza · 29/09/2011 10:41

Sorry about saying I wanted you to be my mum last night pombear - I had had a leeetle bit too much Wine Blush

PLEASE will you post a pic of Miguel all kitted up when he's done?

Original poster
PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 10:39

I just went and PM-ed you purple

OP posts:
purplepidjinawoollytangle · 29/09/2011 10:36

Seriously, let me make the parachute. I'll do nice thick crochet strings so it's easy to attach, and iirc I've got a clip that I didn't need for a previous project, so I could make a little jacket to attach it to. Just send me measurements

Original poster
PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 10:35

OOOO stealth good thinking and why didn't I think of that? Miguel would be crushed by the sleigh if he was clinging on when Santa landed on the roof

OP posts:
stealthsquiggle · 29/09/2011 10:22

He could always be in the process of packing up his parachute having - um - parachuted down from the sledge (after all, it would be tricky for Santa to land with Miguel clinging on to the runner) Hmm?

Original poster
PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 10:00

ooo do you think so? wants a parachute desperately but is afraid of biting off more than can chew

OP posts:
purplepidjinawoollytangle · 29/09/2011 09:59
purplepidjinawoollytangle · 29/09/2011 09:58

Nooooooooooo tha parachute is an awesome idea!! Perhaps Miguel could become entangled with the keys when Santa opens the door but, because he hasn't used his voice for so long due to being in The Cooler, he can't shout loud enough for Santa to hear him?

Original poster
PomBearAtTheGatesOfDawn · 29/09/2011 09:31

Aww that's very kind of you purple - we usually have one of those "Magic keys" to hang outside so that Santa can open the door - our fire is Broken and Not To Be Touched and so on so we don't do the chimney thing. I think the parachute was me getting a lot bit carried away Grin though.

OP posts:
purplepidjinawoollytangle · 29/09/2011 08:58

I'll make you a parachute if you like? PM me your address Grin
I think he should be half out of the fire place/however Santa usually gets to you though