Reality in the adverts Vs real life

Febreze is like little pillowcases for your farts which snatches them out of the air and makes them fly to the moon.

"JLS practice their masturbating technique as a team while holding onto a long stick called a "wee"."

Ah! Now I understand why my local store sells JLS branded condoms!

Nominating for classics as have just watched an ad break and wept with laughter.

We base our decisions on where to shop based on saving 13p a week, rather than the fact that our chosen supermarket is closer and the staff don't bloody well talk to you in faux jollie tones and slap their own arses.

Having sought out two quotes for car insurance I was disappointed to find neither a weirdo opera singer nor a talking telephone popped up on my desk. However I did run over a meerkat last Tuesday so I guess we are quits.

Cats are evil buggers who are genetically mutating in order to take over the world actually this might be true

Certain words are magnetic and will attract others. It is the law only to use these words together, never alone. Some examples include 'busy' (quickly add workingmum) and 'bloated' (quickly add andsluggish). Remember, these words are meaningless used alone.

Some words also come with pointless added extra words, just because they can, like 'free gift'. Sometimes entire sentences are pointless 'I saved £2.37, and that's a lot with young children' .

Generally, it is best to mute adverts and sing yourself a happy song instead.

Lawyers have nothing better to do all day than go around convincing people they're REAL...

I love this thread :)

Cows want their milk back.

No they don't, they don't give a shit.

Brand new mums get dressed, in clothes, in the morning.

Again, pajamas for three months at least!!

summer ...And the fact that said gale force winds blow your washing into next door's forsythia meaning all your washing comes in covered in yellow flowers and greenfly...

That clothes always hang neatly on the line blowing in a warm summer breeze whilst children play sweetly in the background.

As opposed to the reality of trying to hang clothes out in gale force winds while up to your ankles in mud and being walloped in the face repeatedly by errant sheets with a screaming child hanging off your leg because he wanted shoes on not the wellies you gave him to avoid having to clean mud out of his favourite shoes.....

Or the few days it is calm and sunny the scent of your fancy fabric softener attracts every wasp in a 5 mile radius who insist on investigating your face and hair for flowers.

And lets face it, the only games children play near clean washing involve mud being thrown and running full force into the clean washing whilst covered in muds/food/grass/snot/all of the above.

All mums are so busy that being 'a busy mum' defines their existence. As a busy mum, they understand that they 'all want the best for their children', including a 'balanced diet'.

This mostly involves putting a chocolate-covered snack bar in their lunchbox, but because there are fruit and vegetables visible on the kitchen counter while packing the lunchbox, it counts.

People are prepared to travel to the next town to save £1.27 at Asda, and are thrilled about it 'especially with a young family'.

Presumably an old family are cheaper to feed

raahh greetings soul sister!!

Has anyone actually bought an aromatic pebble?

the reason i am fairly ordinary a bit overwight and my house is just sort of tidy not immaculate is because my hair is the colour I was born with ( i'm obviously not worth it) I eat the wrong sort of yoghurt I do not have a squirty bottle of mr muscle or an aromatic peeble. my DD is obviously going to be stunted and deprived as she wears wrong type of nappy and manages to survive but how i don't know without any toddler milk despite not drinking 12 litres of cows milk a day or liking a single fun ( or boring for that matter) brand of cereal on market and her shoes have solid heels with no toy or interchangeable things to lose straps; and how does my marriage survive when DH does not use lynx and I do not use SURE and he has never bought me galaxy and there is none hiden in the bedside drawer
a
lso strange none of dental professors ever mentioned pro-argin not mentioned on any post graduate courses in past year either

omg-dementedma- you have just EXACTLY described our house!!
pmsl

But you still get your free parker pen right?

Actually, there was a Radio 4 You and Yours last week, about how funeral plans kept coming up underfunded and relatives were being asked to stump up before funerals could proceed. From the discussion, it appeared funeral plans are not actually insurance (where both sides would be gambling on paying out less than they are paid), but funding plans which need to run for a defined time in order to be in the black. That's not something which comes through from the advertising, though...

DH insists it is perfectly obvious that womens' bodies just don't work properly because ALL the ads on TV tell him this. Bloating. Constipation. Heartburn. Headaches. Period Pains. Migraines. Mouth ulcers.

Indeed plupervert however also sad is:

You can pay just £8 a month to relieve any money worries from your loved ones when you die.

Yes because funeral costs are at the forefront of everyone's mind when they have just lost someone they love

Possibly the NSPCC may be leaving the child in situ, whereas the RSPCC actually wants to rehome the pets?

Along with twotestickles's jibe about having cancer in a nice hospital, this is one of the saddest advertising lies I've seen on this thread....

The RSPCA or other doggy saving type charity am not actually sure which is which they all just want money want £3 a month to save animals but the NSPCC only want £2 a month to save children

People take their DCs to McDonalds, and order them a happy meal with water as the drink and carrot sticks instead of chips.

(Am quivering with laughter just imagining my DCs' faces if I did that. Almost worth a try.)