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Original poster

Reality in the adverts Vs real life

261 replies

chunkythighs · 01/09/2011 23:02

None of this happens in my life.....

  • Clothes come out of the washing machine both clean and ironed.

*On the off chance that they are not shiny white, a complete stranger lands in your kitchen with a childrens chemistry set and tells you that you're doing it wrong. You won't scream as for some reason you kind of expected this...

*All men wake up with clean shaven faces and head off to the bathroom to shave. They also like to caress the same face after the 'shave'.

*Discovering that your kitchen has been flooded (helllooo limescale), you will lose the ability to let your voice and lips move in sync.

*Baking with a number of children is a relaxing experience.

*Children always leave a thick encrusted ring of mud after having a bath- you don't mind, in fact you just raise a quizzical eyebrow and a smirk. (After all you did insist on having a complete white room I guess).

Will be adding more.

OP posts:
NorksAreMessy · 02/09/2011 07:05

Meercats can talk and wear clothes

I wish this was true

rimmerfleadick · 02/09/2011 04:59

A 20 something model puts some new face re-gegerating cream with new and more bafflling active ingredient than last week and will make her still look like a 20 something model.

A group of women friends get together for lunch and eat yogurt when the reality would be white or red.

Drinking coke in the office at a certain time will allow you to drool over the poor out of work male model take of his shirt whilst cleaning the office windows.

After any spillage you dreamof some badly voiced spanish guy will appear and clean up whilst wiggling his pert little arse for yoor pleasure.

Use this anti bac cleaner and you and your family will never get sick again.
Ever.

Any man while shopping cleaning or doing laundry has an IQ of his shoe.
The woman in his life will nod sagely an fix the problem and may give him a loving pat on the head for well at least trying.

Hagg · 02/09/2011 03:35

hahahahah

themildmanneredjanitor · 02/09/2011 01:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThePopsicleKat · 02/09/2011 01:04

God, yes, what is the obsession with bloating? I only feel bloated if I've just drunk half my body weight in diet coke normally, in which case it's my own fault and a yoghurt isn't going to help matters.

BirdOfPassage · 02/09/2011 00:56

Families are happy and the husband is involved and remarkably genial and sociable (in the ads).

Original poster
chunkythighs · 02/09/2011 00:53

Did you ever wake up one morning and have the uncontrollable urge to go horse riding on the beach-you my friend are about to get your period......

OP posts:
Mermaidspam · 02/09/2011 00:41

All women have orgasms over yoghurt, especially whilst wearing really terrible jeans.

Original poster
chunkythighs · 02/09/2011 00:28

Ah red the memories of dying a big flipping stripe across my face at 8pm on a Saturday night when I was 23........Obviously had to head to a dimly lit nightclub then........Monday morning was a different experience however.....

OP posts:
randommoment · 02/09/2011 00:15

All women dye their hair with full make-up and while wearing lovely pale coloured clothes. They also apply miracle moisturising creams while already wearing said full make-up.

RedRubyBlue · 02/09/2011 00:07

Your pre school son can really wait 'to have a poo at Paul's house'.

Yeah right - he would poo in his shorts and it would take two people to clean him up.

Red2011 · 02/09/2011 00:03

No, chunkythighs, they're not that thoughtful. The cat usually arrives in the bathroom 5 mins after I get there and chews any plastic that's around (bags of stuff etc.) ..then vomits it back up later. Usually in company.
You don't see that on the adverts either.

Original poster
chunkythighs · 01/09/2011 23:56

Red, did your friends arrive with a VIP access to a gig but decided to tactfully bring a bottle of hair dye in case? Hmm

OP posts:
Red2011 · 01/09/2011 23:54

Last time I used cheap hairdye, I got it on the cat. That's real life. Grin

PonceyMcPonce · 01/09/2011 23:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
chunkythighs · 01/09/2011 23:47

Airlines that use TV to advertise have air stewards who move in slow motion and their passengers aren't creeped out by having a stranger tuck them in with a blanket. Air stewards pick up an obviously brand new teddy from the floor and hand it to a cute kid in economy. This both of these employees are always female.

OP posts:
SummerRain · 01/09/2011 23:43

When on our periods women are prevented from cuddling up on the couch with a man or dancing in a club unless they want a woman with an incredibly annoying voice to magically appear and inform them of their infraction by turning the word period into a ten syllable word.

All mothers of young children wear a permanently fixed manic smirk which remains in place even when faced with blood stained clothing and brats tantrumming about pooing locations.

men are bumbling idiots and women spend their lives preoccupied with cleaning products, detergents and the regularity of their bowl movements.

Flowerista · 01/09/2011 23:40

My daily commute is via water flume in my under crackers packing nothing more than my barclay card.

Flowerista · 01/09/2011 23:38

Airlines give a shit about you!

ThePopsicleKat · 01/09/2011 23:35

Banks give a shit about you.

Red2011 · 01/09/2011 23:33

Don't forget that all women are addicted chocolate and feel guilty about even looking at it, let alone eating it.
Oh, and germs on the top of the handwash pump are not likely to get washed off your hands when you have just pumped handwash onto them....

TheArmadillo · 01/09/2011 23:31

all women are constipated or bloated constantly and this is their main topic of conversation with other women

womens lives are complete as long as they have a cleaning product that makes their kitchen floor/surfaces shine - this will make them happy regardless of how many dogs with muddy paws run through said kitchen

all men are idiots incapable of completing basic tasks - it is up to women to roll their eyes lovingly and then do it themselves

consolidation loans are the answer to all your money worries and you even have enough left over to buy a new car or go on holiday they definately won't get you in deeper and deeper

Moodykat · 01/09/2011 23:31

When I go out for lunch with my friends we have a discussion about how hard and uncomfortable it is to have a poo due to said poo being hard.

borntoberiled · 01/09/2011 23:30

You wear white trousers during your period. Enough said.

HardCheese · 01/09/2011 23:29

You photogenically race around your flat in a floaty skirt looking for your hoarded Galaxy that your equally photogenic housemates didn't steal, while looking as if you exist on half a grapefruit a day. The spare Galaxy is kept in a beautifully-decorated box, rather than being half-gnawed and covered in fluff in your sock drawer.

You sit around your office looking dismayed in something unflattering while a voiceover talks about feeling 'bloated. But it's all suddenly OK when you eat the right kind of yoghurt, and then you put on something fabulous and run about having fun.

You commit fellatio upon Flakes in an overflowing bath, and the downstairs neighbours never complain about floods through their ceiling.

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