What stupid things have you believed/said/assumed before finding out to your embarrassment you were wrong?

Also only learnt that the expression is not 'as dull as dishwater' a couple of years ago...,,think this is better than the real expression though.

I was at university and said I wanted my hot chocolate with no throff. Everyone fell about laughing and even now (10 years later) I avoid saying froth as I still mix it up in the mind.
I recently discovered I have my dad to blame for this, and he can't hear the difference between the words!

My friend always said 'mummycuddled' for mollycoddled.

When I told her what it was she said it didn't make any sense that way so she carries on saying it her way :)

Until I moved to England, when I heard on the irish news about people fighting 'in the north', I had an image in my head of people shooting from behind igloos.
My dp thinks children inherit their genes from the dominant parent - I've told him I'll be taking the science homework duties when it's time.
A friend told me peanuts were a type of fungus.
Another told me that you can't pour a bucket of water down the toilet, cos the toilet out pipe doesn't open up unless you flush using the handle.

In the city I used to live in, there is a "gentlemans club" called ST1. Now the name is not very fetching for obvious reasons but I had friends who genuinely believed it was a play on STI's (why they think people would call a stip club STI, I don't know) It was, in fact, the first part of the post code. The owners obviously didn't think it through! Epic fail on both sides!

When i was 15/16 and doing a G.C.S.E in history, and the history teacher was always talking about the troops in the war.

I always thought troops were fences that went round the trenches.

At no point in any of my history lessons did the teacher say that troops were men!!!

No wonder i got a G grade in that subject

Wally - just for you

What's nasal sex?

Fuck nose.

When I was young and innocent I thought when you had sex the man inserted his penis and then just sort of lay there not moving for a while. Twas quite a shock to find out there was a motion involved.

Our local park is known to all and sundry as "The Rec" as in recreation ground. Several years ago DS1 had a friend from another village over to play, and I asked the dad if he was ok with the boys going to the rec together unsupervised (they were about 9 at the time). He ummed and ahhed for a bit and then said he wouldn't really be happy with that as his son wasn't a strong swimmer!!! Apart from anything else, we live about 50 miles from the sea.....

1 year later, not 3. Doh!

I'm another one who never connected people saying "all be it" with the word "albeit" and saying al-bay until last year. I'm 42 and absolutely cringing about it still 3 years later.

Until I moved to a German speaking country I thought Gesundheit was Japanese for "bless you"

My friend told me in all honesty after the Beckhams/champagne bottle rumour that the latest craze in Hollywood was "nasal sex". I totally believed him, but had no idea how you'd actually do it.

Same friend told me that all military personnel on exercise have to only use one piece of tracing paper to wipe their backsides. Fold it and tear the qtr piece, put your finger through the whole etc. My husband was in the army 24 years and wet himself when I asked if he had to he wet himself.

not sure i should admit this, specially for my first post but...............having never heard the word common used for a park as a kid i thought it was - wombles of wimbledon, common are we. referring more to social status than park land

At 28 it randomly dawned on me...cows don't actually give each other piggy backs!
(Grandparents had a farm when I was a child ... I must have been told that to avoid awkward questions when I was really young...and never questioned it)

Until the Olympics I thought horses were involved in water polo too

When I was in school and studying geography, my dad told me Niagara Falls was switched off at night to save energy. I believed him until I went to the falls in my twenties, and learnt otherwise!!

Has anyone clarified the knee cap thing?

YES babies have kneecaps. They're not visible on x rays at birth because they're cartilaginous, which gradually ossify (become bone) as children age.

My dds English teacher calls the main character in noughts and crosses stephy writes sephy but says stephy this is also apparently short for persephone ( purse eh phone)

I was play fighting with my OH and we always start with threats, i said I was going to STAVE his head in! He asked 'what did you say?' With a smile on his face! I knew then i got the saying wrong I was so embarrassed i had to play fight twice as rough to get over it
(I know now that the saying is 'stove your head in' but don't think I'll try that threat again)

This thread is so funny!

Up until the age of 18 ish I used to think Euthanasia was youth in Asia. I kept wondering what the kids in Asia were up to this time...

I used to drive passed a sign every day going to work that read Clay Pigeon Shooting. I thought clay pigeons were a breed of pigeons and very much feathered birds.

When I was very little I thought London was a different country.

I made a bit of a twat of myself at school when I was about 15, I didn't realise that "Auf Weidersehen" was German, I thought it was just something people said in Newcastle.

Unfortunately, I'm related to the person who came out with these little nuggets:

"When you contraceive a baby..."

"I have a speech imparchment!" (they don't)

"Oh your cat got hit by a car? How sad. Good job it's got another 8 lives though, isn't it?"

"If we're going to get pacific about things..." instead of specific

I do love this person immeasurably though!!

This one isn't me, but I've just spotted it on a radio station's fb page:
"Can I request 'totally clips of the heart' for my boyfriend Mikey as he's just so nice..."

When DD1 was born, I expressed my surprise to DH about how big the placenta was. He told me that of course it was big, as the baby had been inside it. I tried to correct him, but he was so adamant I started to doubt myself and let it go.

Oh yes poncypony I used to think the same thing about Bruges & Brussels

My OH thought that "albeit' was pronounced "i'll-bite".

I still remember a friend at school being asked by a teacher how much her body would be worth if it was broken down into minerals / metals. Her reply was, "well it all depends if I sell my orgasms or not". Yup, she meant organs (I hope!)

My sister also used to sing " I am the Lord of the dance SET-TEE ". Our family preferred it so much to the right lyrics that we both had it as a hymn at our wedding, cue much gigging from the front pews when it came to the chorus.

Oh - and it took me until well in my teens to realise that that solicitors were not the same people who got into trouble for soliciting and that protestants and prostitutes weren't the same thing. I spent a very long time very confused about this :(

I used to see a van parked up in the same road every week when we went to visit my grandparents, the van had shop fitters on the side, I used to think it read shop lifters and wondered why the police let them drive around in a van with shop lifters written on it.