What's the most stupid way you've injured yourself?

You were lucky there LED!

Oh and less painful (no injuries) but far more ironic was the time I fell asleep at the wheel on the M1 and crashed the car........into a 'Tiredness Kills' sign

I fell our of a hot tub and badly burnt my nork on a tiki torch.

I slipped on ice one winter and managed to give myself a trimalleolar fracture (ankle), a patella fracture and tearing of all the surrounding tendons plus a break across the back of my hand on the same side . Emergency surgery, plates and pins and I was in casts for 8 weeks, then splints for another 6.

8 years on and I still have one pin holding my ankle together and no feeling in 3 of my toes. The injury has now affected my hip and back, so I'm pretty much biffed.

When I fall I do it goooooood!

Gave myself a massive bruise on my hand from a large cast iron type chandelier, after jumping too excitedly to The Only Way is Up. Defence, I was 13 at the time so it was still a groovy choon rather than political mantra.

Also broke a metatarsal dancing, whacked it on the wall MYbe I need to give up dancing.

I must thank you OP! I am sat here with my arm in a splint as I fell up stairs on Friday and have damaged the tendons in my wrist too.

People keep telling me that its such a daft thing to do that I need to come up with a better story. Kneading Marzipan is brilliant!

My Mum still holds the record for my favorite daft injury. She was playing space invaders years ago on an arcade machine. She beat the high score, jumped up with joy, and promptly hit her head on the jutty out bit at the top. She woke up in casulty and has forever on her medical records 'Knocked out by a Space Invader' which makes all Drs give her a look

Hurt my shoulder just over a year ago. Doing ballroom dancing. It still hurts, currently sat with a wheat bag and dosed up on naproxen.

The funny thing is, I rode horses for years and never hurt myself more than a bruised bum when I fell off. I go and do ballroom dancing and injure myself.

. . . with my knee!

Broke my partners (at the time) nose during sex.

I got a black eye once when I was doing ds's coat up bending over him and he jumped up.

when I was a teenager I had a pony. part of the maintainance job was to cut the long grass on the paddockwith a scythe/sling blade. I though I was beeing clever avoiding to walk all the way to the gate and lifted the scythe up and over the fence. cut my leg. 10cm long 2 cm deep. only felt it when the blood dribbled down the leg. the blade was very sharp.

I sprained my wrist playing badminton and had to write my GCSE exams with my left hand as I couldn't move the right. It was such a bad sprain it took years to physio to fix

I almost removed the ring finger on my left hand (at the same time cutting 2 others) while trying to cut a vacuum mould out of a forming with a stanley knife.

I did remove the tip of my pointing finger on my left hand while chopping an onion. Luckily we have good kitchen knives so the cut was clean, and for a few moments, painless. My fingernail now looks a bit weird though as the nail bed hasn't properly grown back.

I also have a scar on my forehead from where I collapsed an ironing board down on myself when I was a toddler

I also broke a toe.
I droped a big size tin of beans on it. It hurt like hell and a big brusie came up. I went off to work, where I managed to get a big stock trolley stuck, and tried to move it with.......the foot on which I had the sore toe, so it hurt even more.
Then at work i dropped a bottle of shampoo on same toe, followed 10 mintues later by a box of 6 jars of babyfood. By this point I was in tears and pharamcist sent me home, and I ahd to go to A&E where it was discoverd I'd broken it - I'm not surprsied though!

I was once kneeling over the bath washing my hair at my mums and I felt something go "ping" and was stuck! I couldn't move, I had to call DH, who had do the opening the door from the outside with a knife trick. He had to finish rinsing my hair, towel dry it, wrap a towel round me and somehow manouver me upstair onto the bed

We ended up styaing at my mums for 10 days because I couldn't sit for 8 hours in a car to go home. i was on diazepam, co-codamola nd diclofenic and had to be helped with everythin .

Ouch at most of yours!

Last week DS broke his big toe after tripping in a Moshi Monster card and yesterday I had an itchy eye and while scratching it I managed to get my eyelid stuck in my wedding ring and scrape a bit of skin off it. Does not look to bad but it was really painfull.

I've got some lovely scars from hedge surfing...drunkenly thought it would be a good idea.

Damaged my back when dh and I had a quickie in the shower; went to hospital laying across the back seat of the car, and had to be pulled out headfirst as I could not move.

Had my left wrist broken practising judo with my aunt - she fell and sat on my arm!

I am notoriously accident prone, and am forever walking into things, falling over and into things. I've even managed to get stuck between seats on a bus

I got a zip tooth stuck up my nose whilst working in New Look - we had to 'spoil' returns that did not have labels on and the easiest way was to pick a seam and rip them.

Silver hoody struck back when I gave an extra hard tug - rip went through the zip and a tooth came flying off - straight up my nose and stuck there!!

I have never laughed so much - ever

I have only read the first 20 or so posts of this thread and have to stop before the uncontrollable laughter causes premature labour. Seriously. Would make a good post on my return from hosp but probs not worth it.

I will return when I need cheering up or want to bring on labour

Got a black eye from DH's knee during rather gymnastic sex... the night before my parents visited

Shot myself in the leg at point blank range with a high powered air pistol. Pellet lodged 2mm from my femoral artery. The staff at the little hospital nearby were thrilled and all came to look, not many GSW there, apparently.

Picked up the roast tray straight from the oven without gloves on. Made it half way across the room before I realised. Decided to continue to the table rather than waste the meat. Why have I done this more than once?

I'm sure there are more...

In junior school, a friend thought it was really funny to bring in a chilli and give it to me to eat - I'd never seen such a thing. Nearly broke my neck skidding into the toilets to dunk my head in cold water. Had a bad neck and sore mouth for about a week, I was 8.

My brother shut himself in the door of his car, slammed it against himself and caught his hip, covered in bruises and his back's not been right since.

Dancing (drunk) with a mate, I stepped back as he went to cuddle me, I tripped backwards over a step in the pub and hit the back of my head square on a corner of the wall.

Bled like a bastard (being pissed probably made it bleed more) and my (now ex) DP came home to find a man from the pub had taken me home, him sitting watching our telly with me passed out beside him.

Awfully irresponsible really, this happened the Friday night and I went to work on the Monday and had a minor breakdown over a car parking space, nurse diagnosed concussion and sent me home. My hairdresser still remarks on the impressive scar, though I had no stitches.

Fell over chasing my exH through a car park, managed to scrape my hips, arse, boobs, ribs, arms, my elbow to the bone, I refused to go hospital ended up with a major infection in my elbow and hip, about 5 years after a huge boil appeared on hip and a massive piece of what looked like fossilised gravel flew out!

Twisted my ankle running into bush to have a wee.

Broke my toe on a bouncy castle.

Was playing British Bulldog the year of a heatwave, school field was out of bounds due to it being so dry and grass dying on it, we play I fall over bang my head, fracture skull, went blind in one eye for a month!

Was very drunk, so decided to get paracetemol ready beside my bed for when I woke up, but the plastic seal broke off. No worries, I thought, and got out my Swiss Army Knife... blade folded, deep cut to finger, fainted... still have scar 14 years on.

And a colleague broke a rib while brushing his teeth... we were at sea at the time in force 10, lots of rolling.

Bending down to look in fridge - smacked my face into the corner of the door.

Tipped a kettle of recently boiled water over my leg beacuse I was doing an impression of Billy Connelly

Fell over and cracked my head open while pissing about walking backwards in the school playground

I put my hand into my magimix, still have the scar to prove it.

Bent down to water a palm shrub at precisely the right height to allow two sharp palm fronds to spike me up both nostrils simultaneously.

Don't try it, it really really hurts and your dh will be no use as he will be doubled up with tears streaming down his face.