What's the most stupid way you've injured yourself?

When I was 20-21 I was ironing something on my bed (couldn't have been arsed getting ironing board out).

I was sitting with left hand near the iron, and moved forward to pull plug out. I moved, mattress moved, iron tipped over onto my hand. Took me about a second to register the pain, and by the time I moved my right hand to lift the iron I was properly burnt.

LOL. Thing is, god only knows what she thought was up there! It's not like we had a really bizarre sex life and went round shoving things up there!! That said she wasn't the sharpest! lol She did have to take a couple of days bed rest & a couple of weeks of no sex. Luckily, no lasting damage!

Niceguy2 - that also deserves an ouch - wince! Now have my legs crossed.

Niceguy that just made me squirm - ouch...

BigFatSpider - ouuuuch wince

Fell backwards off a stool in Science class while engaging in 'horseplay' with boy I secretly fancied. Broke my collar bone in two places.

I once had to take nearly a week off work after injuring my neck. I could barely move.

It wouldn't have been so bad if I'd been fighting off a mugger or something but I was washing my hair at the time.

When I told my boss, after he'd stopped laughing he just said "Well it must be true. Noone would make a story like that up!"

Also reminds me of the time my ex hurt herself whilst masturbating. Apparently she was having a bit of a fiddle and noticed a piece of string inside her. So she gave it a tug and nothing. So she tugged a bit harder....nothing. So she decided to give it a big yank. As soon as she told me I was like "erm.....your IUD....."

'french horn tutor'.

In Malta, age 16, on tour with the Youth Wind Band. Jumped off the cliffs feet first into the lagoon, probably a 40 foot drop (the things you do when you're flirting-with-the-french-horn-tutor young). Neglected to close my legs on impact. Very traumatic.

I was bursting for a wee while out for a walk. When there were no other walkers in sight I took the opportunity to do a quick wee by a low bushy tree. Unfortunately in my haste, I thrust out my bottom and a sharp twig jabbed straight up my fanny.

I blacked my eye walking into a first aid box. In a hospital. On duty. Sigh.

Couldn't sleep when eight months pregnant, so got up at 5am to water the greenhouse. Decided it was a good time to tie in the tomato plants to the roof, so climbed on a bar stool, lost my balance and fell off, crashing through the staging and landing on my bump. Thinking 'well thank god I had the sense to put my phone in my bathrobe pocket' rang dh only to find he'd put his on silent. Had to crawl back to the house and up the stairs to wake him up and get him to drive to hospital. Dd was born not long afterwards, two weeks early, mercifully unscathed. She does have a strange habit of toddling into the greenhouse and ripping branches off the tomatoes though.

I cut my eyeball with one of my own toenails.

I was cutting them with scissors and a bit flew up and landed in my eyelashes so I decided to clear it by blinking. That was not a good plan.

I stabbed myself in the knee with a scalpel whilest trying to trim a Christmas candle! Somehow managed to avoid serious damage...except to my pride

i was hit by a parachutist whilst running a charity fun run...still finished the run but ended up in hospital!

I cut my finger... while on a knife skills course #fail

When I was 9/10 there was a skateboard outside my back door. I thought I'd look cool if I stepped onto it. Needless to say the skateboard moved and I ended up in a heap on the floor.

Got bit by a squirrel. Try explaining that at a&e

Was in a tiny toilet cubicle at work and the toilet roll holder(one of those industrial ones) was on the wall in front of me. I bent down to pull my knickers and tights up and bashed my head on it.

When I was 8 months preg with DD I was carrying toddler DS down the metal steps to a slide. I fell,landed on my back and on DS's leg,as he was on my hip. I spent a night in maternity having contractions and DS had a fractured leg

I fractured the middle finger on my right hand stickking it up a hoover.....whilst it was running...as you do

We were young and had tied our feet and hands together with socks. We were jumping around the room and I jumped onto the bed (I'm athletic like that!).
Of course I had no way to balance myself because my hands were tied so I simply tipped straight off the other side of the bed, landing chin first.

Broke my wrist, very ordinary except for the fact I was in hospital at the time.

Oops posted too soon.

I cut my right bum cheek and had to have 13 stitches.

Ds pulled away from me as I was carrying him down stairs when he was a baby. Lost my footing slipped down the stairs, kicking a glass cafetiere ( sitting on third step waiting to go in loft till I decide whether wanted to keep it or not).

Kicked it then sat on it and cut my bum open!! Cue lots of strange looks from hospital staff wondering why I was lying on
My tummy waiting for xray!!!

I cut my right bum cheek and had to have 13 stitches.

Ds pulled away from me as I was carrying him down stairs when he was a baby. Lost my footing slipped down the stairs, kicking a glass cafetiere ( sitting on third step waiting to go in loft till I decide wgeth

I broke a bone in my foot when I dropped a full bottle of gin, I didn't want it to smash on the stone floor so 'caught' it with my foot! I couldn't walk or drive for 6 weeks!

I also stuck a screwdriver in my eye trying to mend a window, it flicked backwards in my hand, scratched my eyeball and looked as though I'd been in a fight!